Zayn: “Light’s gone, day’s end struggling to pay rent long nights, strange men.” Zayn knew my situation and was fully aware of the reasons why I did what I did on a daily basis. He didn’t agree with it, but being one of my best friends he stood by me and didn’t judge me. I’ve lost count to how many times he’s offered me his spare bedroom. Continually, I’d decline the offer and go back to my barely furnished apartment that at the moment didn’t have any electricity. I had too much pride to accept anything from him or anyone for that matter. One thing Zayn didn’t know was that I’d sleep with men for money, but I did have a regular job as well, working as a waitress. But that didn’t bring in much money to cover my entire rent. Zayn’s always told me he’d never judge me regardless of what circumstances I came across…I don’t think he’d be able to not judge me if he found out I was a prostitute. I couldn’t lose the one person that’s been there for me since my problems came about…I couldn’t lose Zayn, not because of that. I love him too much to lose him for this. I don’t think I’d be able to handle having him look at me differently if it ever found out…
Liam: “And they scream the worst things in life come free to us.” I laid there in bed next to [Y/N]. She’d been in a lot of pain after her chemo session and I didn’t know what to do that’d help the pain go away. She’s been crying out in the middle of the night these past days making it hard for either of us to get any sleep. I’ve known her since we were kids, so seeing her like this was becoming too difficult for me to handle. She’s always been this health freak, so finding out she had lung cancer caught everyone by surprise. [Y/N] tried pushing me away once the chemotherapy started, thinking it would be too much for me to handle. What she didn’t understand was I’d never leave her…not for anything. I know she’s hurting and watching her be in so much pain hurts me too. No one deserves to go through this. But it’s true what they say the worst things in life come free to us. And there’s really no way in avoiding those things some time. I have no intentions on walking away from [Y/N], she’s my best friend…but not really anymore. Being with her through this has helped show me how I really feel.
Louis: “Tried to swim and stay afloat dry house, wet clothes.” I’d been a mess since he left me. All the hurtful things said that night tormented me.“Shit [Y/N] why are you so dumb all the time. I’m starting to believe I’m with you only because of how beautiful you are because you’ve got shit going for you otherwise.” Maybe I wasn’t good enough for anyone, or just so messed up in the head for anyone to deal with. I tried hard to figure out who I was, but it was more difficult than what people made it out to be. What he made it out to be. Whenever we’d argue he’d bring it up…me not knowing who I was or what I was becoming. I know for someone to be my age I’m supposed to know what I want to do with myself…but I don’t. I don’t know what I want in my life. I laid down on the big mattress, it seemed bigger now that he wasn’t in the bed with me. I shut my eyes and pondered on how shitty my life’s become. I was finally alone. Even after trying to stay on top of things and figure them out. I heard the front door shut and in a matter of seconds the bed sunk in beside me. “I’m sorry [Y/N], I didn’t mean anything I said to you earlier. You’re not dumb, I am. I’m dumb for treating you this way. From now on I’ll help you figure out your identity. I don’t care how long it takes. I love you. And I’ll never treat you like this again.” Louis whispered with his lips pressed against my ear.
Niall: “Stuck in her daydream been this way since 18.” Ever since I was a kid I can honestly tell you I’ve wanted to be a journalist. I wanted to travel the world for a while before settling in New York. My dream home location. I gave up on that fantasy for quite some time that is until I got an internship for Spin magazine. The internship was only for the summer, but I thought if I did a good enough job I could make it my permanent occupation. The only problem with this is I’d be leaving behind everything and everyone. Including my boyfriend of 2 years. Niall’s always been my main source of encouragement. Breaking the news to him had to be the hardest, but he didn’t stop encouraging me to go. “Princess, don’t worry about me. This is your career we’re talking about and not to mention it’s been your dream for so long. I would never ask of you to let that go. You’ve stuck with me through the long months I’ve spent on tour. I plan to do the same for you. We’re going to be together forever okay [Y/N].” With those words I left to pack, knowing whatever happened I’d always have Niall by my side.
Harry: “It’s too cold outside for angels to fly, angels to fly To fly, fly for angels to fly, to fly, to fly angels to die.” Her funeral was being held outside in the snow. Was her mother’s idea, something about [Y/N] having such a great deal of love for it. I struggled to keep my tears up as her younger brother spoke about her. It was still tough for me to grasp onto the fact that I was attending the funeral of my girlfriend. She never gave any hints to anything being wrong with her, always smiling and joking around when she was with the guys and me. Getting the call from her mother last week took me by surprise. I stared up into the sky, watching the snowflakes descend and the pigeons flying high. “Why’d you do it?” I muttered softly zoning out what her brother was saying. “Why’d you do this to me?” Liam being beside me draped his arm around my shoulder trying to give me a comforting side hug. “I never got a chance to tell you I’m in love with you. Now what am I to do?” Finally blinking I let the tears fall from my eyes onto my already wet face. I shut my eyes and leaned into Liam, not caring if my sobs were too loud at the moment. [Y/N] left me…she’s not coming back…and she’ll never know how much I love her.
