(A/N: Disclaimer; this is a continuation of my fanfic which I was forced to continue like this. Because Wattpad!..well, it has a limit...Enjoy!...I guess...I hope...)
Ashlyn ran out of the common room just as quickly as she had rushed in, ignoring the others' questions.
She headed straight to the third floor and making sure that no one was around, she wrenched the trapdoor open and dropped in.
She landed on the mushy Devil's snare, and in her wand light, it only became more pronounced that Draco had used the path quite often. In the thick tangle of vines, a single spot was thinner than the rest.
Ashlyn sighed as she rushed into the next chamber. The fluttering of wings could be heard faintly. And to her surprise when she entered the room and scanned it, she didn't find the old key. Maybe she just couldn't see it in the mass of keys.
She pulled her wand out and tried to sort out the key she was looking for...It wasn't there.
She scoffed indignantly when it clicked. Draco had taken the key. That idiot was keeping it.
Ashlyn huffed and blasted the door open. Oh, was he in trouble when she gets him.
She went past the shattered chess set, and empty smelly room, and past the old Potion puzzle to the final chamber with the mirror.
Ashlyn sighed when she saw Draco sitting in front of the dusty mirror. He didn't even realise she was there, as he continued looking into the mirror.
She hesitated for a second, then called out to him.
"Draco,"
He didn't move.
"Draco," Ashlyn called again, taking a step closer.
"Are you talking to me finally?" Draco said. And to Ashlyn's horror, she realised that he was talking to the Mirror.
"Yeah, that did sound stupid. I must be hallucinating," he chuckled.
"Malfoy," Ashlyn called moving closer.
"I swear I can hear your voice," Draco said to the mirror. "You are playing me, aren't you?"
"Draco!"
He jumped violently and turned around. It took him three seconds to register what he was seeing, and then he got to his feet, stumbling on his robes. He stood in front of the mirror as though shielding it from her.
"You're here," he said, still shocked. "How did you—I can explain," he said hurriedly.
"You best hope you can. And you'd better have a good excuse," Ashlyn snapped.
"I can explain. I know you told me to stay away. You told me it was...it wasn't good for me. I know that," Draco said glancing at the mirror.
"Then why didn't you?" Ashlyn cried.
"Listen to me, Ash," Draco pleaded.
Ashlyn huffed as she took a step back. "Ash? Since when have you called me Ash?" she asked.
Draco paled. His eyes flitted to the mirror again.
"Ashlyn...It's not that terrible," he said finally.
"You've been talking to a mirror," Ashlyn said aggravated. "Don't you see what it's doing to you? You won't talk to your parents, you won't talk to your friends, you won't talk to me. I asked you. A hundred times. But you'll talk to a mirror,"
"It's not just any mirror," Draco argued.
Ashlyn felt her heart drop.
"Draco, you know what it's doing to you," Ashlyn said desperately.
"It is my choice," Draco said simply turning around back to the mirror. He looked at the reflection again. They were still smiling up at him. She was still smiling up at him... Ashlyn was right, he should walk away...But no matter how much he tried, he couldn't do it.
"I'd prefer it if you leave me alone," he said still looking at the reflection.
"Draco, come on," Ashlyn said grabbing his arm and trying to pull him away. Draco shook her arm off roughly.
"Let go," he sneered.
Ashlyn sighed. She should calm down. Getting all riled up would help neither.
"Draco," she said calmly. "You need to stop coming here. The mirror shows what you desire. That's what it's supposed to do. You see what you want. No bad memories, no terrible arguments, nothing,"
"It's just easier that way. That's why you're stuck here. But it won't help," Ashlyn said.
Draco turned around sharply, glaring at her, but she continued.
"It won't make it right with your parents. You should talk to them. And you can do that only when you stop brooding in front of the mirror,"
"What would you know?" he snapped.
"What?"
"I asked, what would you know? You weren't forced to become a Death Eater, were you? You didn't have to watch people get killed at your dining table. You didn't have to torture people just so your family could survive," he growled.
"And when it all ended, I'm still stuck. Father hates me, Mother will be furious. I've been terrible to them. And how long do you think I can ignore all the stares I get. Don't pretend you don't see it," he said accusingly.
"You can ignore it only for so long," he said. "They all hate me! They hate my family! We are traitors, the villains,"
"Draco, don't be stupid," Ashlyn sighed. "No one hates you. Yes, they are curious maybe and they're not exactly discreet about stuff, and whispering is a part of the Hogwarts crowd. I mean, Harry had to endure it for years,"
"Why," Draco spat. "Are you bringing Potter into this?"
"I'm not bringing Harry into anything. I was just saying," Ashlyn said. "You are not listening. You should go back to your dormitory, and then maybe write a letter to your mother,"
"You really do like acting like you know everything, don't you," Draco sneered.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Ashlyn snapped.
"You weren't there when he killed off people like bugs," Draco yelled. "You don't have nightmares about the Dark Lord turning up at your house. You don't have to wake up in the middle of the night, crying, telling yourself that it is just a dream!"
"You've had it all nice and sweet. You're loved by everyone! Best friends with Potter and beacon of light, a fighter on the right side. Oh, I've read the articles all over the Daily Prophet, alright. I bet you don't even know how it feels, to have trouble with your parents,"
"Are you even listening to yourself?" Ashlyn huffed in annoyance. "I spent years hating my mum, my dad, everyone, myself, so you shut up!"
"Stop spewing nonsense. You're looking at the world through distorted glasses. You can't expect to see properly if you are hell-bent on seeing it in a particular way," Ashlyn said crossing her arms indignantly.
Draco gave a short derisive laugh.
"What did you say? You spent years hating your parents? Are you bullshitting me right now? You know what? I think I've found your problem. You are a compulsive liar,"
Ashlyn's jaw dropped. What?
"What is that you want? Pity? Love? Attention?" Draco rambled on. "Or is it that absurd Know-It-All complex you have? You can't stand not knowing, can you? You can't stand not understanding, can you?"
Ashlyn felt hands shaking in anger.
"You take that back!" Ashlyn yelled. "Just because you are stuck in your head and can't keep your thoughts out, doesn't mean you have the right to go on a rampage,"
"What gives you the right to tell me what to do?" Draco bellowed, his voice echoing through the chamber.
"Because I fricking know what it is like to just want to drown yourself every day!" Ashlyn yelled back.
"See, I told you. A compulsive liar with a Know-It-All complex," Draco shrugged.
There was a huge bang and the stone floor he was standing on shattered. Draco jumped out of the way just in time and he was saved by a hair. Had he stayed at the spot for even a second longer, he'd have been burned to crisp.
The spot on the ground had a hole burned in and was smoking.
Shaking the dust off his robes, Draco got to his feet. He barely had time to scowl at the singed crack in the ground, when Ashlyn grabbed him by the front of the robes and yanked him down.
"You take that back," she said darkly.
Draco tugged his robes back and sneered at her.
"What is that holier-than-thou bullshit you're giving me? So you're the only one with depression, you are the only one with PTSD? You think you were the only one who had to do shit? I worked my butt off every single day so that I could save people, and you think it's easy knowing shit?" Ashlyn yelled.
"Well, newsflash dipshit. You are not so special that the Universe dumps all the misfortune on your head!"
Ashlyn started pacing.
"And you dare act like you know me? As if! Get your head off your high horse, dumbass!" she roared.
"How long have you known me for? We started talking, like what, two years ago? And there was a one year gap of no communication at all. Hell, I'll go all the way and says you've known me for seven years. That's it!"
"It's the same for you!" Draco shot back.
"No, it's not!" Ashlyn fired.
Draco scoffed. "And how is that possible, pray tell,"
"Fourteen years," Ashlyn cried.
"I've known you for fourteen frickin' years, in that case. I started reading it when I was eleven. Eleven to sixteen! Six years. Now I'm eighteen, so, eight years. Do the math, will you?"
"You are not making any sense!" Draco bellowed. "That doesn't make any sense. You should really stop lying,"
"I'm not lying!" Ashlyn cried.
Then she sighed. This wasn't helping. Of course, he didn't know. There was no point in getting all riled up. The argument itself was utterly pointless. First things first, stabilise the breathing. Inhale...Exhale...Inhale...
Her hands were shaking uncontrollably as memories flashed in her head. Memories she didn't want to relive. Losing it right now wouldn't do any good. Inhale...Exhale...
'You could show him your memories,' the voice said softly.
'What for?' Ashlyn thought sadly. 'Maybe it would be better for him to hate me. You know, might be just...meant to happen.'
She had put off telling Draco about the books for long and was planning of never telling him in the first place. When she told Harry, Ron and Hermione, she was slightly worried they would hate her, but she was sure she could make it up to them. But in Draco's case, she had no confidence what so ever. All it would lead to would be a disaster.
'That's stupid' the voice said.
'Meh, used to it,' Ashlyn told herself. 'I'm an expert at pushing people away and bottling up my feelings,'
'Last time I checked, you ended up trying to drown yourself,' the voice sassed.
'Eh, maybe I'll burn myself this time,' Ashlyn thought, trying to maintain her gaze. The room was starting to swim in her eyes, and a faint ringing resounded in her ear which overlapped with a chatter of voices. It was getting harder to breathe and the air felt thick. Shit...
'I was thinking you'd hang yourself,' the voice said. Ashlyn desperately tried to converse with it as she felt her knees go weak, and the feeling in her hands slip away. Everything was a blurred mess.
'Well, I already tried water, so I thought I'd go for the fire next,' Ashlyn said
"Hanging would come under air category, wouldn't it?' the voice said.
'I guess,' the ringing in her head was getting louder as memories flashed. And they were torturing her with the high definition images and sounds.
'What about the earth element? Will you bury yourself alive?'
Ashlyn chuckled lightly. She should stop hyperventilating or she might just end up with a heart attack.
'Your hands, use your hands' the voice said. Ashlyn tried nodding but only ended up feeling dizzy.
Slowly she cupped her shaking hands around her mouth. She really needed a paper bag. Mental note to self, keep one just in case shit goes down.
'You should sit down,' the voice said. Ashlyn dropped herself onto the ground with a small thud that seemed to echo in her head.
'Breath in...breath out...breath in...out...' the voice chanted as Ashlyn obeyed.
"Voices," she managed to say. "They're getting louder,"
'They are just memories,' the voice said. 'It's all done now. Focus on breathing for now,'
Slowly, one second at a time, the voices started drowning out. The ringing in her head grew faint. She realised her eyes were wet with tears. No wonder she couldn't see properly. Her head was still throbbing. She would probably have that headache for days.
Groaning, Ashlyn pushed herself up from the floor.
"Don't move," Draco said forcing her back to the floor.
"Dude," Ashlyn moaned. "I'm having a headache, don't push me like that. And I'm okay...Ah...yes...Now I remember, I was yelling at you,"
"If you go back to where you were standing, I'll return to putting you in your place promptly," she said clutching her head. "...Once I figure out the room's configuration and get my vision to work properly,"
The next second she had the wind knocked out of her. Draco had wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug.
"Let go," Ashlyn gasped. "I can't breathe, you humongous lump of bat droppings,"
Draco let her go, and Ashlyn spluttered for air.
At last, she looked up at his face. Worry, relief and guilt were written across his face, his grey eyes swirling anxiously.
"I—" he started, but Ashlyn raised a hand.
"I need some space," she said. "No, literally," she insisted when Draco showed signs of arguing.
She staggered to her feet slowly and dusted her robes absentmindedly. She should have kept a candy somewhere in her pockets...Where was it? Where did she keep it? Where?
'Don't panic,' the voice said. 'Look slowly, check left side inner pocket. If you don't find it there, check the right side,'
Ashlyn did so and found the little wrapped sweet from Honeydukes. She tore the wrapper off with shaking hands and shoved the candy in her mouth, letting the sweetness spread through her mouth.
Then took a deep breath and stretched. Ashlyn fumbled with the wrapper in her hand and started straightening the sweet wrapper and began folding it slowly, properly until it was in the shape of a small square.
"It's calming this way," she said softly as she unfolded the wrapper in the reverse order she had folded it in. This time she made it a little triangle. She did this a few times until her hands stopped shaking uncontrollably.
Finally, she sighed.
"Yup, back to normal," she turned to Draco, slipping the wrapped into her pocket. "As I said, go back to your position, and we can continue our yelling match,"
Ashlyn sighed as she got attacked in another bear hug. She patted Draco's back shaking her head wearily.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..." he whispered into her shoulder.
"Do you even know what you did?" Ashlyn asked.
"...No," came the soft answer. Ashlyn chuckled.
"Not your fault," she said. "Really, I just thought of something, and...well, it was not exactly pleasant, and I ended up hyperventilating,"
She pulled away from the hug.
"Too much oxygen can be a problem too. Your heart starts beating a bit too fast than your blood vessels can handle all the blood that's going 'out of my way bitch'. So I had to try to breathe in carbon dioxide to balance it. That's why I was breathing into my hands" she explained.
"Now that I think about it, it was pretty stupid. I should have used my robes..." she shook her head exasperated at herself.
"And that," she looked up at Draco's worried face. "was a panic attack. And I haven't had one of those in like seven years?...No, I had a few four years ago. Yup...And my palms are sweating,"
She sighed and stared at her sweaty palms. You never just go downhill, do you? You frickin' roll.
Ashlyn sighed again, and then she felt cold fingers on her cheeks. Draco grabbed her face and tilted it upwards.
"Stop talking about it like its normal," he said frowning.
Ah...mmhmm...where's the hole? She might as well jump in right now. Oh, wait! She was already in...
"Do you have any idea how terrified I was?" Draco continued. "Last time I saw you like that...it was there...,"
"Well, Auntie Bella torturing is not as worse as what I used to do to me," Ashlyn said matter-of-factly looking away with a small smile.
"Stop smiling like you are about to cry," Draco whispered, grabbing her shoulders and pressed his lips to the top of her head.
Ashlyn froze. Then she felt herself melt into a puddle.
How deep was it? Goodness, she was still falling...She was going to end up breaking more than just bones this way, wasn't she?
"You know," Ashlyn said slowly, trying not to completely vaporise herself. "You still have that lecture about staying away from the mirror coming,"
Draco chuckled.
"I know,"
"Good. You'd do better if you just talk to them. You should go back and write a letter to your mother. You can just start with casual greetings and maybe slip in a few things they taught in class, you could talk about Quidditch, the match and practices," Ashlyn let her mouth ramble on. She was currently a bit preoccupied with trying not to blush too much.
"Guess I should do that," Draco said. "But first," he waved his wand and conjured two chairs.
"I want to listen to you. I have so many questions, and...I want to know you," he said pushing her down onto a chair and dragging the other one to sit facing her.
Ashlyn sighed. This was not in her plan. Winging it will only lead to one result, no matter how she thought about it. Leaving it for later would do the same. Better late than now, right? That's not how the saying goes. But what the hell did the saying know about her situation?
"And what will you think of me after you know?" she asked.
"You said it didn't matter to you that I was a Death Eater," Draco shrugged. "I'd do the same for you,"
Ashlyn smiled bitterly. "You can be such an idiot sometimes, Malfoy. And a bit too innocent,"
"Do you remember what I said when you asked me what I'd do if you happened to be a Death Eater?" she sighed.
Draco breathed in deeply. "It was something absurd...Something about you being a muggle and a book?"
"Yup," Ashlyn nodded. "What if I said I was a muggle who got sucked into her favourite books series' universe? That's what I asked. So tell me, what would you do if it was so?"
Draco blinked. Then shook his head slightly trying to get his head on straight and looked back up at her. But Ashlyn didn't have that playful smirk or that glint in her eyes. It was as though a light had been turned off behind her eyes as she looked at him, utterly serious.
"What?" was all he managed to say.
Ashlyn sighed. She'd probably bring the towers she had built on lies crashing down...If she was lucky, she could try to build it back up, maybe even better than last time, although she felt the chances were very little...But it was a risk she was willing to take...Or was she?
Ashlyn searched in her pockets again then found it. The little keychain she carried with her everywhere.
She tapped it with her wand and it jumped to its original size. She threw it open and searched inside and finally pulled out the Pensieve.
"Dumbledore left me this Pensieve," she said conjuring a little table and placing the stone basin on it.
"It shows you memories, helps you sort out your thoughts," she placed her wand on her temple and pulled out a long strand of silvery-blue fluid, neither water nor air. Her memories were exceptionally fresh at the moment. What better time than to see what she had tried avoiding for years... She just hoped she wouldn't regret it.
She lowered her memories into the basin where the swirled around slowly.
"Go on," she urged Draco who was looking at all this happening in front of him with confusion.
"You said you wanted to know. Then get your head in there," she nodded.
He hesitated for a second then lowered his face to the liquid. He could see his reflection looking back at him, and then his nose touched the cold surface. And he was sucked in. He felt like he was falling until he landed in a room. A few seconds later Ashlyn arrived at his side.
"Old memories," she sighed. "You can still go back if you want to. Will you take the risk? Of knowing?"
"It's you we're talking about. How bad can it be?" Draco sighed.
Ashlyn shook her head and sat down on the empty, unmade bed. Oh, was he in for a shock.
"Where's this place?" Draco asked.
"My old home," Ashlyn said simply.
"You were adopted?" Draco cried, eyes wide. Ashlyn shot him an incredulous look.
"No, dumbass. Just watch," she said. "I've got you one of my best and worse memories. I love this memory, but I hate it to the core,"
The door creaked open. And a girl walked in. Well, walked wouldn't be the exact word to be used. She was dragging her feet across the room, her bag falling limply to the side. She looked younger than them, hardly fourteen maybe.
Y/N walked over to the desk and shuffled her test papers around. Only terrible grades looked up at her, jeering at her pathetic self.
She sighed and pulled out a sticky note from the rest of the batch, and a pen. Then she plopped down onto the bed, pulling her phone out in the process.
Draco leaned in, curious as to what the glowing screen in her hand was.
"It's called a smartphone," Ashlyn said lazily as Y/N blasted her playlist in the room, drowning out all other noise.
Then she balanced the paper on her thigh and wrote.
'Sorry, but it isn't really fair for me.
At least you won't have to deal with this anymore.'
Then she got up with a sigh. She walked across the room and opened another door.
Ashlyn got up, and Draco followed the two girls into the bathroom.
Y/N shut the door and ran the water in the bathtub. She was going to make sure it was the right temperature. Her last bath might as well be comfortable.
As the water ran in the background, with the faint music seeping into the bathroom she stared into the mirror at her reflection.
Ashlyn did the same, she gazed into the face of her old skin. Hmm... eyes of someone who was going to end it all. It had an air of hopelessness but at the same time a glow of hope. How ironic.
Y/n smiled and Ashlyn fell apart laughing.
It was not a humorous laugh. It sounded much more maniacal and it chilled Draco to the bone. There was a desperate sadness lingering to every chuckle she had given. What unnerved him, even more, was the look on the stranger's face when she smiled. He had never seen the girl, but she seemed to be going through a lot. He was wondering how Ashlyn knew her.
Though they looked nothing like each other, that sad smile...he had just seen it. It looked so similar to the one that seemed to break his heart a few minutes ago.
What was going on?
Ashlyn watched as Y/N stuck the note to the mirror and slipped off her shoes and socks and stepped into the tub.
Ashlyn sighed as she watched the other girl lowering herself into the water. In seconds her entire head was inside.
Draco took a sharp breath behind her.
"It didn't hurt much," she told him. "It did sting for a bit, you know, all that water rushing into the lungs. But that'll pass too when you stop resisting. Hardly three minutes. After that, it's quite peaceful, really,"
Y/N's eyes snapped open inside the water and she started choking. The sounds grew fainter by the second and the lights dimmed.
"Is there nothing we can do?" Draco asked from behind her. Ashlyn turned around. He had gone really pale, his fists clenched as he watched the girl in the tub flail her legs desperately, struggling to breathe.
"No," Ashlyn replied and returned her gaze to Y/N. "It's a memory,"
Then slowly, a peaceful pallor spread across Y/N's face as her eyes fluttered shut and she lay in the water, quite still, as though she was just sleeping.
Then pitch darkness enveloped them, where nothing could be heard.
Draco found the silence suffocating, but Ashlyn found solace in it as she closed her eyes.
"She didn't die," Ashlyn spoke, her voice echoing slightly.
"Who's she?" Draco asked placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Who do you think?" Ashlyn smiled back up at him. And right at that moment, a room swam into place.
"No, not this one," Ashlyn said abruptly and the memory shifted and Draco lit his wand tip.
"I'll give you a quick recap. She lived. Two years of therapy and she was...well, socially acceptable of sorts," Ashlyn said dismissively as she tried to find the right memory. She really didn't want to see her memories of that place again. She didn't think she could handle it.
She had put a whole lot of shit into the Pensieve.
"For one year Y/N, she had two reactions to water. It was either a seizure or I'd go into a trance-like state and become strangely attracted by water, attempting to drown myself again,"
"Myself?" Draco managed to croak.
"Uhhh...You'll figure it out," Ashlyn said simply. "Anyways...neither was a good reaction, so Y/N went straight to the madhouse," she snapped her fingers.
"I suppose the phobia still remains..." she muttered vaguely.
"How—what happened?" Draco asked.
Ashlyn sighed. "Words tend to affect some people more than others. It happens quite often, but there's only so many times a person can break, right?" And as if on cue, voices echoed.
"It's just a phase, it'll pass."
"Don't give me that attitude!"
"That's the attention seeker? Geez~"
"That's not something you can lie about. Do you know how many people actually suffer from depression each year? Stop, you're just insulting them,"
"So, you're just sad, right?"
"Shut up!" Ashlyn snapped and the voices drowned out. "I swear, give me that bullshit once again, and I'll break you," she threatened the air.
Draco felt like he was withering away.
"I didn't know..." he muttered.
"Mmhmm," Ashlyn hummed browsing through loads of colourful memories. "Of course, you didn't. I haven't told anyone,"
"One year later she was out of the madhouse," Ashlyn continued. "Not too interested in living, but she managed to drag herself through, one day at a time. In the end, I'd say she's pretty happy. Fine now. Only not as Y/N, but...me,"
"Tada~" she sang weakly giving jazz hands as she looked at Draco's face which had an unreadable expression.
Ashlyn wasn't sure if she wanted to show this memory. She didn't like it very much either. But maybe watching it again would help her get over it and move on, instead of avoiding it.
She had done well with ignoring it for all these years, didn't she? Won't she do fine just the way she was?
Well, before, she didn't really have to go through all that, and she had other stuff to focus on, but right now, it would be better to watch it again.
But did she have to show him?. . .She trusted him. . .Welp, here goes then.
A new memory swirled into view.
A door opened and Y/N entered, her eyes on the ground, heading straight to the stairs leading to the upper landing.
"Y/N,"
The voice was oddly dazed, and Y/N jumped in alarm, snapping her head up.
"Oh," she sighed once she saw who it was. "Hey, mum,"
"What did you have for lunch at school today?" the lady asked.
Y/N stared. Well, she didn't eat much.
"You didn't eat, did you?" her mother said.
"I wasn't hungry, really," Y/N said. "But I did have a chocolate bar,"
Ashlyn stared at the scene, feeling her stomach clench painfully, as she felt a sickening urge to throw up. She knew Y/N was lying, and it seemed her mother did too.
"Don't lie to me," her mother cried. "How many days has it been? Are you going to kill yourself by starving this time?"
Y/N flinched.
And so did Ashlyn.
Her mother was, however, ranting. "Do you know how hard it is for us? For me? It really kills me inside to see you hurting yourself like this. When will you stop?! What is that you want in exchange? Don't I give you enough attention now? Wasn't that what you wanted? How much more should I help you to go back to normal?!"
Y/N blinked, her mouth parted in surprise.
Then she dropped her gaze to the floor again, pushing her bag up her shoulder.
"It's not attention or help I want mum," Y/N said quietly. "It's support,"
"Please speak up louder," her mother said exasperatedly.
"I just said I have a lot of homework to do," Y/N said clearing her throat and then hurried up the stairs.
She could her mother yelling as she shut the door behind her.
She wanted to cry, but tears simply refused to come out. She wanted to scream out loud, smash her head open on the wall, with the way it was hurting, but she couldn't even move from the place she had frozen at.
Then she gave a shuddering sigh and placed her bag near her desk. It was at times like this, that she would have resorted to cutting herself, but she had gotten over it of sorts, after a lot of sessions, and then went to using a rubber band to strike her wrist . . .but that was months ago too.
So what was she supposed to do now?
Ashlyn felt herself trembling slightly. Suddenly, it all seemed real. Much more real than it had ever been.
She started, when she felt Draco's hand on her shoulder.
"You don't have to," he said softly. "I don't need to see. Let's just go back,"
"No," Ashlyn said resolutely. "I want to. I need to see. It's all in the past anyway, it is time I get over it,"
Y/N had walked across the room, and the books of the Harry Potter series had caught her eye. Then she pulled her phone out, and plopped herself onto the bed, and searched up the first Harry Potter movie, and watched into the night.
Ashlyn knew what she was thinking.
Maybe she should eat something. Just to stop her mother from worrying. If it makes her sick, she could always just throw up and be done with it. Maybe a cake. . .
The memory faded out, and Ashlyn took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Moving on was never easy. But baby steps, that's what she would do.
Ashlyn sighed and another memory replaced the darkness.
It started with the alarm going off in the middle of the night and Y/N waking up in a cold sweat and getting up swearing profusely under her breath.
"She's making her wish," Ashlyn told Draco who seemed to have turned to stone as he watched the memories Ashlyn showed him.
She should mentally prepare herself just in case it ends up in an explosion.
The scene went black again. And it became clearer, but this time a little Ashlyn.
Ashlyn smirked at the look on Draco's face. He was blinking rather hard.
"I'll let it sink in," she said patting his shoulder. "Before the second bomb,"
Draco turned to her with wide eyes.
"I'm dreaming, aren't I?" he said. "I must be. I must've fallen asleep in front of the mirror, and the guilt is probably doing this. The first thing I'm going to do after waking up is get out of here. Then I'll apologise to you,"
Ashlyn chuckled. "How very sweet of you. But no, it's not a dream. Slap yourself for all I care,"
And that's what he did, surprising Ashlyn, Draco brought his hand up and smacked himself right across his face so hard that he actually fell down.
"Dude," Ashlyn chuckled, taken aback. "That was unnecessary,"
He didn't seem to be listening, rather he was letting it sink in that this wasn't a dream.
"How did you get here then?" he said finally from the floor.
Ashlyn sighed and sat down beside him.
"Dunno," she said honestly. "I just wished,"
"And you never wanted to go back?" he asked.
Ashlyn looked at him incredulously. "Are you really asking me that?"
"Right, sorry. But still, you just got sucked through space and time. I saw that calendar. It showed January 2020. The future! And you even came back to the past," Draco rambled.
"You never wanted to go back?"
"It didn't stand a chance against magic," Ashlyn shrugged as the pages of a book swirled in front of them.
"What—?"
"Want to read it? It'll be long doing all of it," Ashlyn said. "I'll just pick the Draco Malfoy parts and a bit of focus on the Golden trio..."
The pages flipped.
"What's the books name?" was the first question he asked as he read the first page of the first book.
"That one's called," Ashlyn smirked. "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone,"
"What sort of bullshit is that?" he sneered as the page flipped.
It was really amusing to see Draco feel indignant on Harry's part, and insulting the Dursleys. That was the only reason Ashlyn let him read the whole first chapter.
"Thirty six? Thirty six, you great lump of a muggle! And they are making Potter cook? Dumbledore was okay with this?" Draco snapped, as Ashlyn giggled silently.
"A cupboard under the stairs?" he said indignantly. "How dare—,"
"Draco chill," Ashlyn sighed. Harry should've been there, and those two would probably become good friends in minutes.
As Ashlyn flipped the pages, Draco asked.
"So there's a book about Potter in the future?"
"Not exactly," Ashlyn said. "Because I never found the book in this universe. The first book's supposed to come out last year, and I scourged all the bookstores I've ever seen, and I didn't find a single book,"
"What do you mean this universe?" Draco blurted.
"Listen carefully, will you?" Ashlyn sighed. "I told you I got sucked into my favourite book series. Ah, here it is,"
Draco and Harry's first meeting in Diagon Alley at Madam Malkin's.
Before he could say anything, Ashlyn pointed at the book and asked him to read.
Draco was silent throughout the entire time, and Ashlyn kept showing him glimpses of all the seven books, mentally preparing herself for whatever was going to come. And judging by the dark look on his face, Ashlyn wasn't exactly sure if she'd like the confrontation too much.
Is it too late to go back? She could always just use the time-turner she was saving...Ah, she could do so many things with the time-turner. Maybe cover up all the stupid messes she had made carelessly.
Ashlyn shut the Deathly Hallows before he could reach the epilogue and pulled them both out of the Pensieve.
Draco sat in silence, processing as Ashlyn packed the Penseive away.
How long had it been? It must have taken hours. She obviously didn't show him all of the books, just a few major parts to get him to understand the situation. Draco's smart, he should connect the dots pretty quickly.
She was screwed, wasn't she? Yup...
"That's what you meant by character," he said softly. Ashlyn nodded.
Draco looked up at her and then asked, "Tell me something...Am I just a character to you then?"
Ashlyn blinked.
"You didn't approach me once, not before sixth year when it happened in the book. I would take advantage of opportunities too. The only reason you met Potter on the train, was because he is the protagonist. I am right, aren't I?"
Ashlyn bit her lip. Well, he wasn't exactly wrong. And she couldn't deny it.
"Am I just the minor character, the bully who is there just to emphasis our little hero's greatness?" he scoffed lightly, then he shook his head.
"Forget the books," he said. "What about you? Am I just a character to you too?"
Ashlyn sighed, thinking. Well, technically, he wouldn't be wrong. She was still looking at him as a character of sorts. It had always felt more than just books. But right now she was planning for nineteen years later when his son goes to Hogwarts...In that sense, she did see him as a character...Gosh, this was confusing!
Did it really matter if she saw him as a character or a real person? If something were to happen to him she'd try to stop it...as long as it messed with the plot...Great...Was this topic even important? It was to him...She did drop the bomb on him, quite mercilessly if she must say so...If she could go back in time...She could...That question was entirely rhetorical! No one was going anywhere...Oh, dear, was she in a pickle now...
"I think I should give you some time to think about it," Ashlyn said finally getting up. She pulled back her little keychain and walked out of the chamber, still thinking hard, having the mini-battle in her head.
Ashlyn was hardly out of the chamber when Draco's fingers wrapped around her wrist and wheeled her around. The next second she was being pressed to his chest in a hug.
Ashlyn sighed. Sometimes it was just impossible to understand what was going on in his head.
"I'm pretty sure I asked you to think about it," Ashlyn said in a monotone as she pulled away from the hug.
"I did," Draco answered.
Ashlyn slapped his arm. "No, you didn't. You didn't even take two minutes,"
"I don't need it," Draco shrugged. "I don't care. I really don't. It doesn't matter to me. But...Can you please see me as more than just a character?"
Ashlyn blinked.
"Are you doing this, because I told you well-placed words are my weakness?" she said after a few seconds, raising her eyebrow incredulously.
Draco chuckled. "No, I mean it...,"
"I would never understand you lot," she exclaimed. "How the heck does it not matter? Dude, I've been lying to you the entire time. And you take like what? Two minutes and come up with some cheesy line,"
"You're all just stupid, utterly stupid," she shook her head in exasperating.
"You've told Potter, Weasley and Granger too, haven't you?" Draco asked.
Ashlyn nodded. "Not everything...Just the books and a bit...I sorta had to. Dumbledore basically called me out in his will. I don't regret it though,"
"So do you regret letting me know?" he asked.
"No, not really," Ashlyn answered truthfully, still refusing to look up at his face. She felt the ground was a much safer option to look at.
"Then it's all good, isn't it?" Draco said a small smile making up to his face.
Ashlyn looked up and studied his face, then sighed sadly. This was going to end nowhere good...
"You've never been just a character to me," she said. "I mean, yeah, I stick almost religiously to the plot, but that doesn't mean I don't try to change the parts I always wished I could change. Because I loved it more than anything,"
"So, yeah, I don't think any of you have ever been just characters...,"
'You're still trying to stick to the plot,' the voice in her head said. And she was almost starting to like it now, it just had to go and ruin it.
'Shut up,' Ashlyn chided herself.
"And Malfoy, you are still getting an earful from me on the way back. And the key. Why would you take it?" Ashlyn said glowering up at him.
"Yes, ma'am," Draco said dejectedly. "Yeah, but how did you get past the door?"
"Ummm...I blasted the door open," Ashlyn said sheepish smile.
Draco laughed. Yes, no matter what her past was or how absurd it sounded, she was still the Ashlyn he knew. It was only that a few of her eccentrics made sense now.
". . .One reason I hate myself," Draco said slowly.
"You don't have to feel obliged to tell me everything just because I showed you those memories," Ashlyn said hurried. She could hear the hesitation in his voice.
"No, I want to," Draco said. "Just, don't hate me afterwards,"
Ashlyn sighed and took his hand in hers. "I think you ought to have figured it out by now. I find myself incapable of hating you. I could never do that, no matter how hard I try,"
Draco smiled weakly, gripping her hand tighter.
He swallowed, looked around the place, as though memorizing it, before speaking again.
"I was proud. Proud that I was chosen, when. . .when he. . .You-know. . .V-Vo-,"
He seemed incapable of saying his name. Ashlyn gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. Draco took a deep breath.
"Voldemort...When Voldemort said he wanted me to kill Dumbledore," he shuddered lightly and grasped at his left arm, pulling his hand out of Ashlyn's touch. Then he seemed to regret it.
Ashlyn just wordlessly held her hand out, and he took it, then she went back to listening to him as though nothing had happened.
"He was very convincing," Draco said. "He said that I had great potential and that he expected great things of me. That I was more than capable of becoming as strong as Dumbledore. There is no good or evil, only power and those too weak to seek it,"
Ashlyn sighed. "Tom Riddle failed to see past it. He failed to see the bigger picture,"
Draco looked up at the ceiling, talking softly.
"I was proud. Really proud that I had been branded with the mark. With this revolting thing on my arm..." He glared at the stone ceiling above him.
". . .I thought it was an honour to work for him, to do his bidding. . . I was stupid. . .What would I have done if it wouldn't have been for you?" he turned to look at her.
"The same, I'd say," Ashlyn said simply. "You'd still find it hard. You'd still battle with yourself because you are not heartless. You'd still struggle to find a base, to protect your family, because you know that good and evil exist and that you want to be on the side of good,"
"Because you can love," she finished.
She felt Draco's hand tremble in hers.
"Sometimes, I wonder if Riddle was capable of love, and that it was just that no one ever showed him what it genuinely was," she rambled.
"What if it didn't actually impact the ability of a person to love, regardless of whether they were conceived under the effects of a love potion? Maybe he was just to blind and shunned in his past, and that he had no one to look after him, to care for him, to love him. . . Maybe, there wouldn't be no Voldemort, and maybe we'd have a Professor Riddle teaching us,"
"How is it that you can manage to see light even in someone as evil as Voldemort?" Draco said amazed.
"It's not Voldemort I'm seeing good in," Ashlyn said. "It's young Tom Marvolo Riddle. Abandoned by his father before he was born. His mother left him alone in this world, because she had given up hope since she lost the love of her life. Thrown to an orphanage. Treated as a freak, an unstable child because of the power he possessed. . . He obviously turned his weaknesses to his strengths,"
"Maybe if someone looked out for him like Dumbledore did for Harry," Ashlyn said. "Then maybe it would have all been different,"
"Harry was almost similar too, right? Orphaned, thrown into the care of relatives who despised him and his abilities, bullied his entire life, before someone suddenly comes to him to tell him he is a wizard. . .If Ron hadn't befriended Harry, if Dumbledore hadn't bothered with him, maybe he'd get killed by Voldemort in his first year itself, or maybe he'd join him,"
Ashlyn shrugged. "I dunno. . .I still have my doubts about a love potion affecting one's ability to love. Love cannot be manufactured. Yes, precisely. Love cannot be made artificially, that means it cannot be lost artificially either!. . . It would be such a shame if Riddle had grown fixed on the statement that he couldn't love, because of the love potion, when he actually could and he never just tried to,"
"Ashlyn," Draco said. "You amaze me. You fascinate me, you really do,"
"Flattered," Ashlyn said, slightly confused. She was just voicing her opinions. She really didn't think she could tell all this to Harry, Hermione, Ron or Ginny. She didn't want to tell Draco either, but there was something about him that made her relax and spill out everything she was keeping. She didn't even know why she showed him those memories. The ones she had even kept from the others. She showed them to him so easily.
"Tell me...What happens at the end of the book?" Draco asked.
Ashlyn looked at him incredulously. "I showed you,"
"No, you didn't," Draco said simply as they made their way back tot he first chamber.
"Ashlyn, you may be an incredible actor, and maybe you would even get an...what was it? An Oswald award?"
"Oscar," Ashlyn corrected.
"Yes, that one. You can even get that," Draco nodded. "But, I can always say it when you are lying,"
"Bullshit," Ashlyn scoffed. "You believed me for all these years,"
"Yeah, the context was not exactly guess-able, was it?" Draco said dismissively. "Anyway, what happens in the future?"
"I don't know," Ashlyn said.
"You're lying," Draco said simply.
"I'm not," Ashlyn scoffed.
"Look me in the eye and say it," Draco shot, and Ashlyn sighed. Draco had a smug smile on his face as he threw his arm around her shoulder.
"So, tell me what happens," he said.
Ashlyn pushed his arm off. "When will you stop acting like a creep? And I'm not telling you shit," she snapped.
"Aw, come on, Clarke, lighten up," Draco said airily.
"You know what," Ashlyn snapped. "Go back to being your brooding self. It's easier to deal with you when you are submissive,"
Draco raised his eyebrows, with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
"I see, so that's your type,"
Ashlyn sighed and shook her head.
"I forgot how insufferable you can be," she muttered. "Why do I even bother?"
They climbed out into the corridor. The sky was still dark outside, as Ashlyn tapped their head disillusioning themselves and then she hid the trapdoor.
"Aren't you going to take any extra precautions?" Draco's voice said. "Add some more barriers,"
"Nah, it won't be necessary," Ashlyn said searching the air with her hand trying to find the boy. She had done this before, and why hadn't she learned anything from it.
"I trust you,"
There was a silence as Ashlyn tried to find his hand. Gosh, she was stupid.
"Got you," she finally whispered when she caught hold of what seemed to be his hand.
"That is your arm, isn't it?"
"Umm...Ashlyn, do even know what you are holding?" Draco said slowly.
"What?" Ashlyn spluttered.
"I don't think you want to know," he said in a low voice.
Ashlyn swung her leg and it caught him on the shin, and Draco groaned in pain.
"Yup, I've got your hand, alright," Ashlyn said simply. "And no more snarky comments or I'm ripping your mouth off,"
"I wouldn't mind it-"
"Shut up,"