"I'm kinda nervous." Amanda breathed, as she and her wife cleaned up their house before the social worker was going to arrive and start a home check.
"Why? We are good people, Mandy. We really want a baby and we will be great moms." Olivia replied with a soft smile. Amanda nodded slowly, but she was still so unsure.
After a year of marriage, and deciding that they wanted to adopt instead of trying to use a sperm donor to have a baby, they were now just one step closer to becoming parents. But Amanda was scared that she was going to be like her parents. And they were not great parents at all.
"I'm still just nervous that she won't approve of us being foster parents and possible adoption candidates. And like, what if we do fall in love with the baby we get, just to have the courts not let us adopt it because we are a lesbian couple?" Amanda asked, and Olivia bit her lip before moving to her wife. She wrapped her arms around her body and kissed the back of her head before just hugging her tightly to her chest.
"Stop worrying about something that we cannot control, my love. Everything will be okay because we have each other. And before you say anything, I did hear how cheesy that was." Olivia spoke, and Amanda laughed half-heartedly for a moment before the doorbell rang.
Amanda stiffened in her wife's arms.
"Can you get that?" Amanda breathed, and Olivia smiled and nodded.
"It's just a house check. Just think about that." Olivia spoke. She walked away from her wife and went to open the door.
"A house check that will lead to us having a baby..."
///
After getting the all-clear, the caseworker told Olivia and Amanda about a baby girl that she was going to place with them. She was only a month old and was finally being released from the hospital after being born addicted to cocaine.
Olivia and Amanda quickly worked on making up a room for the little baby that was going to be theirs... either for a while or forever.
"Babe?" Olivia asked, the morning that the baby was being dropped off. She had thought they would be able to sleep in, but she slept in longer than her wife had. Amanda looked up from the paper she was reading from and sighed.
"Makenna has to be on oxygen at night and while she sleeps. There are certain breathing treatments we have to do with her every other day, and let alone the fact she is on medicine still to help with her former addiction. Liv, she is going to be a lot of work." Amanda breathed.
"But she is going to be so worth the work, Mandy," Olivia replied.
"Why are you so certain that everything will be alright? Because I'm not sure at all. I'm fucking scared, Olivia. Scared that we will fall in love with her than lose her. We have wanted children since we got together, and now I'm scared that that will never ever happen."
"I'm sorry that I'm trying to be positive about this all," Olivia grumbled. She walked over to the coffee pot and filled up her mug before walking from the room and heading towards the living room. Amanda ran her fingers through her slightly tangled blonde hair, before standing and following her wife.
They have fought before, but right now they couldn't. They needed to be a solid unit so that they can easily care for the baby they were getting.
"Liv, I'm sorry. I'm just freaking out." Amanda breathed, as she walked over and stood behind the couch. She started to rub her wife's shoulders before leaning down and starting to kiss her neck.
"I know that you have a hard time with this stuff, but realize that I am having a hard time with this too. I have always wanted to have kids, and now we both have the chance to have a child." Olivia breathed.
"I'm sorry that I wasn't understanding of your feelings and only focusing on mine." Amanda breathed.
"And I thank you for that. I just need you to take some deep breaths and just think about how amazing it will be when we get to hold our child for the first time in a few hours."
"I'll try, Livia. I'll try."
///
Amanda didn't realize how easy it was going to be to fall in love with Makenna. She met the baby and almost instantly fell madly in love with her. It made her wife so happy to know that Amanda opened her heart with fear, but ended up loving their child without any fear filling her being.
They fostered Makenna for a year, before finally being able to adopt the little girl who had the most stunning gray eyes.
"Okay, so we just have a few more pieces of paperwork to sign. Then we will be good." The judge smiled, as they sat in her chambers. Makenna was sitting on Olivia's lap, her tiny hands playing with the sleeves on her mother's dress.
"So this is where we change the name on her birth certificate?" Amanda asked as she read from one of the forms.
"It is. Now, did you decide on her middle name? How you want to put the last names?" The judge asked, and Olivia nodded.
"Yeah, so her middle name is going to be Hope. And we are going to do Rollins-Benson as her last name. It's exactly how we did our last names." Olivia replied. The judge nodded as Amanda filled out the form as quickly as possible. She just wanted her daughter. Their daughter.
"Let me just read through this real quick, then everything should be good." The judge smiled.
Olivia looked over at her wife and smiled when she saw a small tear roll down her cheek.
"Alright, please stand." The judge spoke, and they all stood, as Olivia continued to hold onto Makenna.
"With my power as a justice of the city of New York, I determine that this adoption is now official. This child shall now be known as Makenna Hope Rollins-Benson."
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