The secret life

The secret life. chapter 34. The best of me

The days passed. Another false alarm. I cannot say how many false alarms there have been since this secret war started. And I usually feel bad about letting my enemys trick me like that. I had expected too much. Assumed when I told myself not to assume things anymore. But as that Friday passed by I knew I hadn't been tricked again. I may of broke my own habit of expecting too much. To take up the space of that supposed fixed point day was worry for Dawn. It hadn't been the first time I had assumed the fixed point day and it was a false alarm. But the last time I did it, was the day Alayla got caught...

I had thought I was in the clear for that day. I was but my friend wasnt. And she suffered for it. I didn't want the same to happen to Dawn. When the master is gone and all my other friends had gone. She was there. The only ally I had left in this war that would always be there when I needed her. During the school day my worries made me uneasy. Not for my safety but for Dawns. I kept sending out telpathic messages to her. Saying I hoped she was ok. And I had the feeling she was worried for me as much as I was her. So i kept repeating in my head sending telpathic messages to her. "I'm safe. Dawn. It's not today. I'm safe. I just hope you are ok and safe too"

Most times when the fixed point came as a false alarm I had a choice of feeling relieved. Or disappointed. Most of the time I would choose disappointed Dispite what I knew would happen. Cause I was frustrated by nothing happening in my life. As would anyone else who feels thier life being empty. But lately I've been trying to change that mind set. Trying to think differently. I didn't want to be disappointed. Over the suffering I couldn't escape. It wasn't going to be good and I had no escape but I didn't want it. In my frustration it felt like I would want it. Which I knew was just my frustration talking which got me into trouble lots of times.

This time I changed my mind set and because of that I had peace during the day. I felt relieved. I was safe. When i could of been captured and hurt with excruciating pain. I had another day with my family. Another day to fight and hold dear everyone and everything I had and cared for. I was happy. What was going to be one last day with me turned into who knew how long more. And what time I wasn't ready at all. Turned into more time to be ready. Course the fixed point would still be coming and I would still not be ready. But I lived in that moment right there. Of me being safe. Holding dear and cherishing it. I didn't know how long I had until the real fixed point came. But which this chance I would grow.

When I thought all had ended it turned into the best day I had so far. I spent the rest of my time talking with dawn. I was so relived that she was safe I didn't care that the fixed point I had assumed turned out to be a false alarm. I had my friends with me. I told stories with them I enjoyed my company with them. My old friend austin even came back. The first one I had told my secret. And my truest friend I had ever found. He would stand with me even though the world was crumbling around me. I needed him and he was there along with all my friends. I knew now for sure. When the fixed point came and the end of my perfect life here, came. I would remember the best. I would hold on to the memories I made with all my friends of the past. My friends have always been the best of me. And they always will be. Even if the whole world crumbled around us. I know they would always stand with me. Fighting along side me. That's the gift of having true friends.

With another false alarm came I already had clues to when the next date I had to be cautious about. And that was the next week. I knew the fixed point was soon. Really close I could feel it. And the evidence to support the clues agreed with it. Apparently there was a snow storm coming, that was going to hit on the sun day of the that weekend I was on. Already having a suspicion of the up coming week and feeling the bad feeling of the fixed point almost apon us. I knew. That this weekend could be the quiet before the storm the peace before everything changed and I would be taken where I didn't want to go. I vowed to have no assumptions but when that Monday came I would be alert and ready for anything. I knew I would have no way to be ready for the fixed point. I knew my enemys would find someway to catch me off guard. I knew I wasn't the best one on keeping alert. But when It comes I would be strong. I would be brave. I would have to be. And I will be.