Flames

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"El

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"El..can we talk" Sirius said nervously.

"Yeah of course what's up?" she smiled genuinely "Theres something I need to talk to you about as well actually.."

"Oh-you go first" 

"You sure?" hesitated the girl

"Yeah, really." assured Sirius slightly worried about what she had to say

"Look..you know I love you Sirius..but after everything that happened between us..I don't think we should get back together. I think we are better off as friends, it's clear we have no trust and therefore no hope at rebuilding our relationship, for now at least. I never meant to play with your feelings by telling you I'll give you another chance and then suddenly changing my mind, but I can't heal that fast and I was desperate to cling onto something that was no longer there." She paused momentarily "It's like our relationship was a candle..and what you did was a gust of wind and it blew out the flame, so until we re-light the wick and rebuild trust and our relationship as friends..theres no point in trying..I want to try new things, see new people I feel as though perhaps this would be beneficial to the both of us..and well..Freddie asked me to accompany him to hogsmeade on Saturday and I said yes. I'm really sorry Sirius I am."

Sirius' heart broke at the words the girl spoke, because although he intended on letting her go he began to panic internally realising that she was letting him go. Everything that Regulus and James said would happen is happening, but it's all happening so soon, and he had no idea how to feel about it. He had no intention of dating anyone else other than Eloise, in fact Sirius Black vowed to wait for Eloise Potter and prove his love for her even if she was off with someone else. He was going to let her fall in love if she wanted to and he was going to be happy for her. Sirius Black decided he wanted to be there when Eloise got married even if it were to someone else, but he wanted to be in her life and he wanted her to be happy even if that was not with him.

"Okay." nodded the boy masking his heartbreak with a smile "I want to let you go El..you deserve better than me, and if Freddie can bring you happiness and treat you better than I did then I am happy for you, truly. You have no reason to apologise to me when you've done nothing wrong, I hurt you and you're healing I get that, you didn't know what you wanted and maybe one day our paths will cross again but I guess for now I'm okay with being friends."

"Thank you Sirius" she smiled throwing her arms around the boy, he stiffened slightly knowing this really was the last time he would hold her like this because this could be their final goodbye to their relationship as they began new chapters in their lives. He wrapped his arms around the girl burying his face in her hair, taking in the scent of vanilla and coconut one last time before he let her go. 

---

Sirius walked into the great hall for dinner heart hurting as he spotted his friends sitting at the table he made his way toward them sending them a tight lipped smile as he sat down.

"Are you alright Padfoot?" Remus smiled concerned 

"Fine." he nodded with a feeble smile 

"It's over for real this time isn't it?" said James understanding what was wrong with his friend "You let her go."

"I didn't let her go" he sighed sadly "She let me go..she told me we would be better off as friends and she wants to pursue things with Freddie, they're going hogsmeade this Saturday." 

"I'm sorry mate." said Peter sympathetically 

"I just don't want to believe this is it..we're done, she won't take me back because I fucked up so badly." he said burying his face in his hands "I should have treated her right and I didn't, I messed with a girls heart who I should not have and now I'm finally facing the consequences of my actions. She said we don't have anything to hold onto and try for anymore, the flame in our relationship just isn't there after what I did and I honestly..don't know how to feel about it. I'm heartbroken honestly, but I have no right to be sad, not after what I put her through, and I'm also happy because she's gonna be treated right, and be happy, and I get to keep her in my life."

"So..she's getting with blondie then." said James wide eyed "I mean if he treats her right and she's happy then I'm happy" nodded the boy 

"Yep." said Sirius sending a longing gaze over to the girl who was in a deep conversation with Lily, blushing as she said something Sirius realised they must be talking about her new flame. He remembered when she used to blush like that when he spoke to her, when her eyes would light up, and she'd smile outshining every girl in the room. He remembered when she'd do all that for him, and now she was doing it for someone else and he had no choice but to accept that. Because he had finally let her go.

---

"Wait..so you broke up..were gonna get back together...then you weren't..then she's with someone else?" said Ron baffled 

"Yes Ron, that's what he said isn't it?" said Hermione exasperatedly 

"Yes, that is what happened." confirmed Sirius with a nod. 

"Is he still alive?" asked Harry curiously "The bloke she chose over you, Franklin was it?"

"Freddie." corrected Sirius "And she didn't choose him over me" scoffed the man "She just..moved on with her life."

"No she chose him over you mate." shrugged Ron bluntly 

"Ron!" scolded Hermione 

Sirius scowled slightly at the red head refusing to hear the truth of the boys words. "Yeah he's still alive, works at the ministry now"

"What was it like? Your relationship with Eloise after you became friends.." asked Hermione curiously 

"Different." said the man vaguely "It wasn't like how we were before we were together, it was like..I dunno..awkward almost just without tension, I don't know how to explain it to you, it was hard. Let's put it that way."

"So...what was it like seeing her with Freddie? If you loved her so much..what was it like having to see her be happy with someone else?" frowned the girl curiously 

"Who said she was happy?" 


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