He fell for his best mates sister, he fell hard, but he was a player, a womaniser, the one the girls wanted and the boys wanted to be, until he met her. Granted he knew her because she was James' twin sister, but he never really acknowledged her, bu...
a/n- hate marlene but luv Mia so this hurt. Double update to make up for my like two week break.
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Mia Coltons mind was in free-fall.
Ever since her breakup with Marlene the girl had been on thin ice mentally, unable to understand why Sirius would do that to Eloise, why Marlene would help him. Her Marlene. She had exchanged brief words with the blonde maybe a short 'hello' in passing but never a full on conversation despite the fact there were so many words that she wanted to say, but she had no idea how to. Where would she begin? Would she ask why? Tell her she forgives her? What?
Whatever that answer may be it no longer matters because Marlene was gone now and there's nothing she could do about it. Not to mention the rumours of the girls girlf-ex girlfriend now I suppose. There were words Mia longed to say but couldn't so instead..she wrote them. In a letter, addressed to her love.
My Darling Marlene,
I can't believe I am writing this letter. What's the point? You'll never be able to read it anyway. You're dead.
You shouldn't be gone yet it wasn't your time. You were so young. How could you? How could you leave so early?
God I hate you so much for it. So fucking much. I wish this was all some kind of sick joke that someone was playing on me and that you're not really dead. That you'll be at the next order meeting and all will be well again. I wish that someone would come and tell us all that Voldemort is dead, and El's kids will be okay, and little Harry and Neville will be alright and that, oh what am I talking about. It's impossible.
This war won't end well Marls. I know it won't. And now that you're gone it's so much more real to me. I have a feeling that you may have been the first of our friends to die..but you will not be the last. I'm worried Marls..send a sign to us will you? that it will all be okay in the end and that, eventually we will all see each other again even if we do die. Send us a sign that Lily and James, and Sirius and El and Alice and Frank will all be okay. Through all of this war. You can do that can't you?
Theres so much I wish I could have said to you. So many promises unkept, words unspoken. God Marlene. Believe me when I say it takes a lot of love for me to hate you the way that I do.
I wish none of it happened you know. between you and El. She does too, she doesn't have to say it I can see it in her eyes. That light is still there when we're all together it's just not the same as it was before, well you know. I think she regrets not fixing things with you, or at least trying to rebuild your friendship. We all do. It's been so long by now and I'm not entirely sure why we never said anything. I suppose we were all cowards in a way. Scared. Hesitant.
I hate to say it but we didn't trust you and for a while I honestly thought you could have been the rat in the order, clearly I was wrong. Why did you do it? Really? I loved you. I really did, so much. I say did as if I've moved on but truthfully I haven't. I know you said it was because of my 'crush' on Eloise but I mean come on who doesn't have a crush on her, I found her attractive yes but I didn't love her, not like I loved you. Why didn't you just speak to me about it? speak to her. Then the whole thing could have been avoided. Did you even regret it?
Oh Marls. Excuse the smudged ink I have something in my eye.
Realisation. Is one of the most painful yet soothing things to ever exist I reckon. See realisation brings me peace when I realise I did in fact lock the door, and my wallet is still in my bad, But it fucking hurts like a bitch when I realise I will never get to see your smile again, or hear your laugh, or stay up late staring at the stars laughing as we sipped on the wine we nicked out your mums cupboard. It fucking hurts like hell.
Oh and your mum. your darling mum. She didn't deserve this, any of this. Nor your dad. Oh and Mason. That darling boy. He was so young. So full of energy so excited for Hogwarts. I remember when he realised you and I were together and he was confused at first, suppose he always thought it ought to be a boy and girl you know...because mummies and daddies. I remember when I explained it to him. when I told him boys could love boys and girls could love girls. And he loved that, he said 'So when you and marls get married and have kids they'll have two mums?' I didnt have the heart to tell him we weren't allowed to get married. That people like you and I don't get that opportunity because blokes like the minister don't agree with it think it's 'unnatural' I heard someone say once. So instead I lied to him and told him yes, our children would have two mummies. Oh he was so innocent, so pure. What kind of sick bastard would kill a child?
It's barely been a day and yet I miss you so much. That's for sure. I'm sorry I never reached out. And fixed things between us. Truly, I wish I had said something Marls.
I heard you got a new girlfriend. Did she make you happy? Did you love her?
Perhaps one day you'll be able to answer all of my letters, but for now I suppose this is goodbye.
