Wrong choice

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"You cheated on her?" gasped Harry in disbelief "And my dad punched you?"

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"You cheated on her?" gasped Harry in disbelief "And my dad punched you?"

Sirius gave harry a sad look "It's not something I'm proud of. And I'll regret it until the day I die. It's been fourteen years since she died and I still wish I could take it all back so she'd look at me the way she used to, so she'd trust me and believe me when I told her I loved her-" he sighed sadly voice breaking slightly "I loved her so much. She never completely forgave me, I could tell, and I can't blame her but that didn't make it hurt less." 

"Who did it?- who killed her?" harry asked cautiously curious to know more

"Bellatrix Lestrange"

------

It had been five days six hours and twenty three minutes since Eloise Potter found out Sirius had been cheating on her. She was heartbroken, angry and humiliated but that doesn't mean she would let it show. She had appeared to be better than ever before, her relationship with her brother even tighter than it already was if possible and Sirius was able to notice how she had seemingly got more beautiful. Eloise seemed to be coping well.

Sirius on the other hand was not and he didn't even bother trying to hide it. Without Eloise he felt like he had no one. Sure Remus and Peter still spoke with him but right now James hated him and so did Eloise, but he couldn't see that changing any time soon. Oh how his heart ached at the sight of her so happy knowing that it was no longer him making her smile, it was no longer him making her laugh, and it was no longer him waking up beside her. He longed to hold her again. But he couldn't, because he fucked up. He cheated on her, and less than a month before year on year anniversary she found out.

He missed her. And every second he spent without her was agony all he could do was stare hopelessly from afar at the girl who's heart he broke. Since that day, James and Eloise seemed to be joint at the hip. Never letting each other out of their sight. James had gotten even more protective over his sister since the whole ordeal and didn't miss a chance to glare daggers in the boys direction if he caught him staring.

James was just as heartbroken as Eloise and Sirius. He felt betrayed, lied to, by his best mate, his brother. Sirius promised him he wouldn't hurt Eloise and James believed him. Especially after seeing their patronus' weeks before. Sirius and Eloise, were, and possibly still are soulmates. But Sirius threw that all away for what? That's what James couldn't understand. The more he thought about their patronus' the more he wondered if she would still be able to cast it. Maybe the memory she used now has bad connotations and therefore will not work. James thought about the night they cast the patronus' and how Sirius knew that whole time that he was cheating on his sister. He thought about how Sirius had been doing it for months already. And he wondered how far he went with cheating on his sister but he couldn't help but wonder if he really did want to know.

Eloise blamed herself for Sirius cheating on her, and James hated him for that. He had never before seen his sister in such a state. When she found out she rushed back to the common room ignoring everyone but her brother, even Lily. She cried for hours sobbing into his shoulder asking "what did I do wrong James? am I not pretty enough for him? was I too clingy? was I annoying? was I too bossy? why wasn't I good enough? I tried to be good enough I did JJ but it didn't work..will I ever be good enough for anyone?" she sobbed soaking his robes but he didn't care.

"You are good enough Ellie. You'll always be good enough. You're gorgeous, you're smart. If anything you were too good for him. Okay? This isn't your fault." he reassured hugging her tightly

"I must've done something wrong for him to want to cheat on me" she cried 

"You did nothing wrong. He's a prick. And I hate him for what he's done to you" he scolded lightly

Eloise laughed through her tears looking up at her brother "You don't hate him James. I don't think you could ever hate him."

"I do hate him look at what he's done to you"

"Don't hate him on my accord James. You don't hate him you're just angry." she sniffed wiping away some tears "He's like a brother to you. You'll forgive him eventually" 

"I should hate him. You should too!" sighed the Potter boy

"Yeah I should."

"Then why don't you?" 

"Because there's just no point in hating the people you love"

James looked at his heartbroken twin feeling a pang in his chest at the sight "C'mere" he said pulling her into an embrace "I love you"

"I love you too" she sniffed

---

Sirius was up in the Astronomy tower, brushing his fingers over the wooden beam that had the initials 'S.O.B + E.E.P' permanently etched into it. Cigarette smoke danced through the air as he took a long puff and exhaled. His eyes were puffy, and eyelids heavy due to the excessive crying and lack of sleep.

"Why'd do do it?" came a voice from the entrance of the astronomy tower.

Sirius whipped his head round letting out a humourless chuckle upon realising just who it was. "Why does it matter? Whatever I tell you won't justify what I did" he said taking another drag from the cigarette.

Regulus sighed moving to stand next to his brother; who to put it straight, looked like shit and had clearly not been handling the break up well. "Because Sirius, she's been blaming herself."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I spoke to her the other day and she was in bits Siri. I've never seen her like this before, it physically hurt me to watch. She thinks she wasn't good enough, or she was too clingy or did something wrong which is why you cheated."

Upon finding this out Sirius felt as so someone had stuck their hand into their chest and was squeezing on his heart. How could she think so lowly of herself? She was perfect in his eyes, an angel, a goddess. His soulmate, it was his fault that they ended no one else's and he knew that. But knowing almost exactly just how much pain he had caused the girl broke him. "She thinks that?" he whispered barely audibly trying to choke back a sob. 

"Yeah she does" nodded Regulus "She's one of my best mates Sirius. What on earth made you even want to do such a thing to her?"

"Davey Brinkman." answered the boy

"Her ex? He's an arse" scoffed Regulus "But what's that got to do with you cheating on el?" 

"He said on the train that I was 'losing my touch'" air quoted the boy "and that people were saying that I'm not a ladies man anymore now that I'm- that I was with El" he sighed "saying it outloud sounds stupid but it damaged my pride it doesn't justify it at all if anything makes it sound worse, and I don't know why I cared so much when I had everything I wanted right there but- merlin I fucked up I'm such a fuck up. I love her reg and I've lost her I've really fucking lost her and I'll never get her back, I made a mistake- no not a mistake I made a choice and it was the wrong choice to make and I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry" he said now sobbing hysterically over the railing. "I love her."

"Potter will forgive you-James that is, El won't let him stay angry at you. It will be a long time before he forgives you but he doesn't hate you neither does she." 

"She should"

"She couldn't hate you even if she tried."

1976- Sirius BlackWhere stories live. Discover now