number 12. (l.s.)

Chapter 1.

O N E
-the new place-

Louis shuffled his feet uncomfortably, hesitating to speak. "Bye...,' he said eventually, giving a small glance to the couch where he saw two people sitting, he didn't really know what to call the new two strangers in his life.

"Make the best of your day, you'll love it at your new school,' a sweet female voice said. She took a small sip of her tea and gave a smile, which Louis couldn't distinguish of sincerity.

"Sure." He had heard that often, but he already lost hope in it. He threw his bag over his shoulder, ready to escape the house—the strangers, more like.

"You sure you don't want me to give you a ride? It's no big deal,' a male voice offered. Louis shook his head, playing a bit with the strings of his bag. It was just a new version of history: new people, new house, but everything else would be the same. He was sure of how it would go, after living the same story over and over again. Usually it took about 3 days to hear the line: 'I understand how you feel'. The truth was, no one could have possibly known how Louis felt. And besides, Louis never shared his feelings so nobody would have a chance in 'understanding how he feels'.

He also thought they would never see him as their own child. The longest he had been in a family was for nine years, it was his first new family, about five years ago. He remembered how happy he was there, even though he didn't really know anymore what happiness felt like. If he looked at the superficial meaning, something like: Happiness is a sense of well-being, joy, or contentment. He wouldn't consider himself happy. However, if he looked at the purpose of happiness, it would be something close to: Happiness helps in reducing pain. Increases and encourages physical activeness and make activities more pleasurable. He didn't do activities, because he wasn't allowed to. Thereby, he didn't really need things to be more pleasurable. He knew he couldn't ever have a good life, and he was okay with that. So it was alright.

He thought.

It just wasn't for him. Life hadn't chosen him, but he could face it well, it is what it is— that is what he kept telling himself. He was transferred to his first family when he was 4 years old, so didn't know at that time who his real parents were. When he was told the family-which he considered his- wasn't his biological family, he became so upset and angry. He remembered the clotting of his blood and how he shouted and cried—all at the same time. He remembered how weak he felt by all the exertion. That was the first time he really discovered what his disease really had in terms of conditions. He fainted.

Afterwards, he had always wondered why he was evicted from his biological family. Nevertheless, he was happy with the family he was in. Of course, happiness couldn't last long for Louis. The mom - who
he called mom, because he was raised by her and was his mom-figure - died. In a way Louis would most likely to forget. But he couldn't. There was little time to grieve, because the frustration the rest of the family had, they threw at Louis. In different ways, which he would most like to forget. However, the spoken words are like scars in his head and he will never forget the fearful feelings when someone touches him. The events had made him the person he was. He had changed so much—though, no one really saw it, because he didn't have someone who he knew for a longer time.

He used to be a positive and happy person. It was like he became a total different person and the old-one had totally vanished. You couldn't blame him for changing though, after everything he had been through. He would never share any memories about what had happened those four months he had been there after the death of the woman. The memories were stuck in his head and still did he get nightmares about it sometimes. Louis was okay with it because he felt he deserved it. However, one thing never changed about him: he was a fighter and had always been strong.