number 12. (l.s.)

Chapter 50.

F I F T Y
-'regret is stronger than gratitude'-

Louis breathed in the fresh spring air as he opened the car door. "Thank you so much Joseph," he thanked as he turned his head back to the kind man. They had a car drive for 3 hours, and they basically had fun for all the three hours. They even grabbed ice cream on their way.

"I'll be near. You can call me anytime to drive back."

Louis slowly shook his head thoughtfully, "you don't have to. You could just drive back, if you'd like. I'll fix something myself."

Joseph was hesitating about that, "Do your parents know you're here?" Louis was considering asking him if he couldn't tell them that he was in Peterborough again, but he didn't want to risk Joseph's job, since he knew how stern his parents were.

"Yes, they do," he just lied with a silent smile.

He nodded then, smiling at Louis. "Okay, have fun then. If plans change, I'm only three hours away," he joked, making Louis chuckle. They said goodbye to each other, and as he drove away, Louis realized how messed up his plan actually was. He just left his parents, and was on the open street, nothing with him but his phone and little notebook.

He didn't even know where he could go. It was a Sunday, so everybody would probably be home. He knew he couldn't go to Harry, since he wasn't welcome at all because of his parents. Juliet lived a couple of blocks away, and he just had no idea what he could say to Scarlett and Dan. He hadn't even a place to stay, and why would Scarlett and Dan suddenly take him back, after he literally left them.

He started to feel unsure about his choices, but he just slowly walked forward over the sidewalk, after deciding to go to the ones he had missed the most.

After knocking on the door, he put two steps back again, seeing the familiar wooden door in front of him. It took them quite long to answer, and in that time, Louis' mind wandered back to the last day he lived with them. It was the moment he first saw and discovered his biological parents. He was so relieved and happy then, feeling like he was going home. He then grew so upset, thinking back to how he felt he needed to be perfect for them, the way he changed so much for them — yet still it wasn't enough.

He just didn't understand what he did wrong after doing everything they asked him to, he went to every lesson they arranged for him, and he didn't complain once. He didn't complain about loneliness, about how he was being bullied at school and not about them never being home. He tried so hard to be worth being loved by them, but in one swoop everything collapsed when he figured out he was never there because they loved him. He was there to run their company.

He suddenly felt so tired by everything, his energy being sucked out of him after the heavy day, and just then the door opened. When he blinked out of his thoughts, he realized he was crying silently. When his eyes met Dan's, he didn't even think as he shot forward and clutched his arms around his waist. Dan was a bit caught off guard and his lips parted in slight shock. But he slowly put his arms around Louis too, moving his left hand over his back, as he had his right hand on the back of his head.

"Hey—," he softly said, knowing something was off, "you're okay, we're here for you." He softly reassured.

Louis smiled nodding in the embrace, only feeling more emotional by that. "I know you are," he whispered back.

"Come inside, I'll make some tea." He chuckled slightly at that, because it was just something for Dan to do. It was such a warm day, but Dan just always loved tea regardless of the temperature.

Louis found himself spilling all that had happened those five months with his parents, at least the relevant parts. He told them about how his parents were never home, how they only pushed him to change, that he wasn't good enough, that he needed to be perfect, and about all the appointments he needed to go to. He told them about how he was being bullied at school, and how lonely he started to feel. And then his bottom lip started to tremble, his cheeks still wet from tears. "And then, after about three months, I just snapped. I couldn't take it anymore." He stopped talking, feeling the lumb in his throat as he shook his head softly. Dan and Scarlett didn't even sit across from him, they just sat beside him, Dan on his left and Scarlett on his right. He felt so comfortable with them, and he just found himself spilling every detail.