Can't hate you || e.d

Fate

Mika called me so many times and I had to explain some stuff to him. I had to lie to him about my mom and that she needed me, because of some personal, family problems and other things. I had to tell him that I wasn't sure when I could go out again because I was so busy and needed to be there for my family.

He told me that he wanted to see me and he wanted to know if there was anything that he could do. He wanted to know what happened and he was worrying more than I thought he would but I made sure he could understand that I was really busy and catch up with him as soon as possible.

What was hurting me the most?

Dean being so cold and distant. I never thought he could do that. I never thought he could be so distant without getting weak and trying to find a way to get close to me again. Not that he was always getting weak but he was the one who was always fixing everything between us because he faced the problems instead of leaving them in the air but this time it didn't even seem like he wanted to face these damn problems. That's why I had to face them.

I knew how strong his love for me was. I had no doubt and I thought he wouldn't be able to treat me like this even if he had the right. He always treated me like a princess and somehow he was something like an angel to me because I knew that nothing bad could happen as long as he was by my side. I never thought he could keep this distance. I never thought he would let me go, let me down.

"Hmm, these smell delicious! Can I have some?" mom asked, and ripped me out of my thoughts. She bent down and took a look into the oven that was filled with cookies.

I nodded and dried my hands, without taking a look at her. I didn't want her to see the sadness that was covering my face these past days.

"Sure. I'll leave you some here.«"I said and my voice was so raw, as if I didn't talk for months. "Oh! Are they for Dean?" she asked, leaning against the corner of the table. I nodded again and tried to find something like a lunchbox so I could transport them safely after they cooled down.

I made Dean some triple chocolate chip cookies because I knew how much he loved chocolate. He loved everything that had chocolate in it. The more the better. I knew that he was practicing on the field with the team and I was sure that this was what he needed.

I found a lunchbox and put it on the kitchen counter while she still watched me but it was okay because I was too distracted and busy with my own thoughts to concentrate on her.

"Well, that's a very nice gesture, I'm sure he'll like them." she said, with a mom smile and that soft voice.. that mom voice. I took a deep breath and scratched my forehead. I felt so tired.

"Who's the guilty one this time?" she asked and I answered "Me." like I expected her to ask this. I mean, I kinda did. She didn't know what was going on but I didn't need to tell her anything because she was a mom. She already knew enough.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Her soft voice told me how much she was caring and that she really wanted to help me but I was too tired and to exhausted to talk about it. The past days took my soul and my energy to keep living. I wanted to melt on the ground and just lay there forever.

"Not really. But thanks for asking." I said and tried to smile but I wasn't sure if I succeeded. I guessed I did because she smiled too. She was a big help, even if she didn't even know what was really going on or could help in a specific way. Just knowing that she was smiling at me in that way already showed me that she was there for me.

Y/n

Knowing that Sun wasn't happy made me even unhappier. The past week literally pushed me to the edge and I was close to the explosion.