Can't hate you || e.d

Broken pieces

Sun

Three weeks... it's been three weeks since he didn't come to school. He disappears out of nowhere and he wasn't even answering my calls or replying to my messages... he disappeared without saying a word. I was worrying but I couldn't talk to anybody about it. The craziest things went through my head.

What if something happened to him? Or what if they randomly decided to move again and he couldn't even say goodbye? But why didn't he text me then? Why did he leave me alone for so long? I couldn't believe how much I got used to him in such a short time.. it was making me crazy because I didn't know where he was and three weeks suddenly felt like a really long time..

Chloe was still pissed because I spent too much time with him instead of her but she calmed down and was really satisfied because he didn't come while it was bothering me more than anything else. To be honest I felt weird without him. I always thought of him.. I could barely concentrate on anything else.

You know these mean bad boys who are taller than you and have such a wide back? Well he was one of them and for me he was a big teddy bear I could hug all the time and hide myself in although he was so mean. I needed him even if he was scaring me sometimes and not only because he had these features..

I started talking with my dad although I was very cold. Moon and I were talking as well like always. Everything was like always. Nothing really changed.. that's probably why I liked being with Dean... he made me feel completely different. Like everything could change. I was in a completely different world when I was with him and I liked that. So it made me kinda sad when a day passed without him.

Maybe because he was the first boy that was so close to, especially after such a short time.. I fell for the first boy who captured me.. but it wasn't like that.. there was something special and I could feel it.. no one had the ability to make me feel like this.. I missed him.

Moon

After three weeks Skylar and I got very close without even planning it. It all happened without noticing it... Even when I was cold and rude as fuck she was still so nice and caring. She never got annoyed by me and she was really patient...

So I decided to be nice too. Well I was trying. For the first time in my life I was really nice to someone who wasn't a part of my family. Of course I was never trust her, tell her too much about me or get used to her. It was just nice to spend time with her as a friend. It was fun and a distraction and I needed that.

We were sitting in the cafeteria eating some snacks.

"And your surname is Monet? Really?" I asked her raising my eyebrow. She nodded taking a bite of her brownie.

"Artsy huh?" she answered with a question. I nodded. "Yeah definitely. I mean who knows.. maybe you're his grand grand grand grand grand kid." I said and she laughed and that was so cute because ever time she laughed she looked at me in a way that made me soft.. she was really cute..

It was so beautiful and so sympathetic.. it just confused me.

"I hope I'm not! I don't like art that much." she said looking at her brownie. "What do you actually like?" I asked her crossing my arms in front of my chest. "Hmm.. I don't know.." she said looking confused. "Well I'm sure you like eating." I said and she laughed again but gave me a death stare afterwards. I couldn't help but laugh.

"We'll definitely find something that you like.. I'm sure.."

Skylar

If he would have only known that I already found what I like... I liked him. Very much. Not only because he helped me with Liam and was there for me.. he made me laugh so much in these three weeks that I couldn't help but like him. Spending time with him felt good..

Dean

He broke a few bones of mine... so I couldn't go to school for at least one month.. or longer. I couldn't even move or think normally because of him and he was still blaming me. I didn't even want to go to school or do anything else..

I felt so empty, broken and lost that I barely talked or moved.

Every time he saw me he told me how useless I am... I couldn't even go to the hospital but I was used to fixing it by myself. It just hurt more and more everyday and I felt like I couldn't take it anymore.

All I've been doing for the last three weeks was resting, sleeping, smoking and drinking. It helped a lot to survive and get through it all. I was either really high or really drunk. It helped with the pain but it still didn't make me feel better. I still felt lonely and uncomfortable.. especially hurt..

It was early in the morning... I've never felt more uncomfortable. Blake and dad were about to leave the house again like they were always doing it together. "Dean.. you're so slow and stupid... I think Blake should take this over for you!" he said out of nowhere and smiled at Blake. I was sitting on the sofa so I let my head fall back and tried to not mind him.

"What are you talking about..?" I asked but I could barely talk. My voice was deeper and more raw than usually. I really needed something to get me up again. "Sun you dumbass! You ain't even going to school or answering her calls! You're making everything worse!" his voice got louder with every word. I sighed.

He was right. I didn't answer her calls or texted her back.. she was worrying a lot.. I read her messages.. each of them. In that moment I realized that all I needed was her because she was the most caring person that was in my life in the moment. She was the most caring person I've ever known.. each of her messages showed that..

If I would've showed him that I needed her, he would have use it against me and I wasn't going to let him do that.. although I didn't want Blake to talk to her. I didn't even want him to come close to her..

"Sure, do whatever you want!"I said not even looking at them. They laughed and I asked

myself if they could get even more stupid.

They left and I took a deep breath. I felt a little more peaceful.. like I could finally breathe again..

Then I started to cry and I hated myself even more... why was I crying? I was acting like a little girl. I hated it when I cried. It showed how weak I was. But I couldn't take it anymore. They were making me feel like shit every damn day.. without a break and I was getting lost in the darkness and negativity. There was no one who I meant something to.. who I was loved by.

Then I thought about Sun again.. she was so positive..

Sun

Just when I was walking towards a teacher, my phone rang. When I saw Dean's name on the display, my heart skipped several beats and I wanted to scream. The excitement that got me made me nervous. My hands started shaking.. he was finally calling me..

"Dean? Where are you? Where have you been? Is everything alright?" I asked him immediately without greeting him or letting him breathe. Then I heard his voice and my heart broke... I wasn't sure if he was crying but I could tell that he was broken. He sounded so sad and hopeless... his voice was so raw and he quiet..

"Where are you right now?" he answered with a question. "At school! Tell me where you are!" I said rushing back to class. No matter if I was hating or loving a person, when I knew that they were sad or hopeless I just couldn't help but feel bad as well. I wanted to help. Especially because it was him.. it made me worry even more.

"I'm at home but.. I need to see you.. I need you.." he said and my heart broke into a million pieces... my racing heart almost killed me. He said that he needed me.. he said that he needed to see me. I knew that something bad happened..

"Okay! I'm coming as fast as I can, okay?" I said totally nervously and hung up before he could tell me to not or yell at me. I wasn't sure what was going on with him but I was afraid that he was still going to lose it.

I grabbed my stuff and told Chloe that I would call her and explain her everything after school.

I rushed out and not minding that I was grounded and that my family was going to kill me if they would find out about this all. I was going to a boys house for the first time.. and I was really nervous about it but I was more nervous because I was worried about Dean..