Can't hate you || e.d

Big wounds

"Where is it hurting?" I asked paying attention to every move of hers while her grandma sat down across from us.

She pointed at her chest and said "I can't.. I can't breathe.. it hurts.." like she ran a marathon or ended up in the galaxy without any air. I was scared she would turn blue.

"Your lungs? Or your heart?" I asked and I wished I didn't because in that moment I guessed she had a cramp because she started to scream. She let herself fall towards me and leaned her head against my chest, still screaming.

My heart was bleeding. I wrapped my arms around her but I was afraid that it would bother her because she was in pain.

"Does she have any medication?" her grandma asked. She was almost crying. Her hands were shaking but she was trying her best to be there for us.

I shook my head and held on Sun as tightly as I could. I was all over the place. I was thinking about so many things.. and praying that nothing happened to any of them...

After a while of trying to catch her breath and crying she passed out. It was something between fainting and sleeping but I knew she needed that.. at least she wasn't in pain anymore or at least she didn't have to feel it anymore. She needed rest.

I took a deep breath and didn't move an inch, hoping it would be over, at least for now. Everything happened so fast.. it was so overwhelming.. it was heartbreaking. Tragic..

I held her in my arms and kept praying that she would be alright and that they would be alright too.

Y/n

I was running towards the operating room with the doctors, trying to hold my tears back while looking down at him and how he was laying there shirtless, blood all over his chest and the sheets. Just like my hands because I tried to stop his bleedings earlier before the boys arrived and drove us to their special hospital. I wanted to take him to the nearest hospital but we couldn't because of all this gang shit that I didn't even care about anymore..

My heart wasn't beating and it wasn't going to beat until he was going to be fine. I wanted him to be fine. I wanted him to survive and live. I wanted him to stand up. I wanted him to open his eyes. I wanted him to breathe.

I had to let him go because I wasn't allowed to enter the operating room and as soon as the doors closed and I was standing in front of them, totally frozen, I noticed how much it was hurting.. and how cold it was..

How the walls got closer and how I couldn't breathe.. how reality kicked in and I felt tiny on this huge world. How weak my knees got and I could barely move. Standing felt like an extreme sport. I felt my heart all over my body and my blood bumping so strong that I thought I was going to explode.

I heard footsteps.. the boys were standing behind me. I could see them in the reflection of the glass door in front or me.

I slowly turned around and saw how they all, including Moon, were standing there.

They were looking sad.. shocked.. afraid.. destroyed.. just like me..

Josh took a few steps towards me and everything started over again inside my head.

The first night in which I met Ethan.. the first time I saw him.. the first time I heard his voice.. the first time he touched me..

When he saved me.

I started breathing faster and heavier.. my vision was getting darker and I lost the ground beneath my feet.

How I fell in love with him... how he loved me.. how he took care of me.. how he protected me.. how he was there for me. How happy he got when I got pregnant, how how he looked at our children, how he did everything so I would feel comfortable, how he did everything to protect our family, how he always comforted me, even until now.