gay house BTSxBTS

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Jimins POV

It was my birthday. I hadn't told anyone. I even told Counselor-nim to not say a single thing either. With the way things were going with Jungkook and I, another birthday was definitely not what I wanted. A birthdays what started all of this. Instead, Hoseok and I were hanging out. Talking about this and that.

We were always all over the place in our conversations. The both of us focused for only five seconds before getting excited over something else. We always ran through topics but it was ok because the other could always keep up.

Today was a bit different though. He seemed over all distracted. Like he didn't want to talk light heartedly. Almost like he didn't want to talk to me at all, but was pushing himself to.

Usually we'd be jumping at each other and touchy. We could be in deep conversation about shaved ice one second and the next I could be running my fingers through his hair asking which shampoo he'd used. Today there was no running to different topics, just moving on quickly.

"How was your testing this week?" Hoseok asked me.

He relaxed a bit, as if thats all he's wanted to tell me this whole time.

"I failed" I shrugged.

I'm use to it at this point. I'm ok with it though. As long as all seven of us are here, I don't mind staying.

"O-oh haha.." the awkward tension came back. "How would you feel if one of us ever passed?"

I didn't know how to respond with anything but a shrug. Even though I'd be sad that they're leaving, I'd be glad that they can finally go back to their normal life.

"I-" cut himself off by sighing heavily. "I passed. I leave in a week. Counselor nim said I wouldn't know my results until my next counseling session, but he had the time right then and just graded it. Even with passing, he's letting me stay this week to say my goodbyes."

The awkward tension grew bitter. I was happy for him. Sad to be losing him. Happy I still have time with him, sad that it's not longer.

"B-but now that's off my chest, lets go downstairs and watch a movie. We can cuddle and stuff, like old times" he smiled his heart smile at me. It soothed the blow some.

Once we'd began walking down the steps, we could clearly see Jungkook on the couch, already watching something. I could tell he sensed me, but he was trying not to look. I, on the other hand, was staring him down. I couldn't help it. I really don't know why I couldn't help it.

"It's ok, we can still watch with him" Hoseok turned and reassured me.

I only nodded and forced a convincing smile. So we sat on the couch. Only, Hoseok sat in the middle. And just as he got comfy, Jungkook moved even farther from us. It would to be a lie if I said that didn't hurt me.

He was watching The Great Battle. It had Nam Joo Hyuk in it, only the greatest actor to be (and author's second ultimate crush right after park chanyeol). Aside from the blood being lame and super fake looking, the movie was absolutely amazing. Some deaths made me Jump, but Hoseok held me and rubbed my shoulder to comfort me.

I glanced over to see Jungkook. He was leaned to the side, head angled in a way that will hurt his neck later. Eyes shut, lips parted, and hair messily placed. He was asleep. He looked cute when he slept. He was much more innocent when he slept. It made me smile.

Hoseok looked over at him too, then let his eyes land on me quickly. Although I noticed, I let it go quickly. Turning back to the movie and sighing.

"Do you really love Jungkook?" He asked me quietly.

It was a bit of a shock to hear then. I hesitated to answer. Debating whether I should just keep my eyes on the movie and dismiss his question all together, or simply reply 'no' and be done with it.

"Doesn't matter... we cant stop fighting" I settled on that response. It's true. As of right now, it doesn't matter at all how I feel. When it comes to Jungkook, I don't think my own feelings ever matter too much.

"did you ever like Yoongi?" He then asked.

This time, I really did remain silent. Not refusing to respond with a 'yes', but just deciding not to. I definitely liked him at first, but Jungkook seemed to slowly and surely take over completely. He crept into my heart and when the time was right, he jumped at it and stole the whole thing. I didn't want to get into that topic. Especially since he isn't Jungkook, so what I feel for him at this point isn't relevant. So in short, I simply kept my mouth shut.

"I slept with him." He confessed. It came as a shock to me. I knew they got close really suddenly, but I didn't realize they'd gotten that close. "I feel bad to leave him. I- well, I don't know how I feel. I just dont know"

Surely enough, despite my feelings for him being gone, my heart still ached to hear that. As if, even if I ever wanted to look back, I couldnt. Hoseok is dear to me, so as of this very moment Min Yoongi is off limits to me.

"maybe you love him" I smiled.

I do think they're a pretty fit now that I think about them. Yoongi's been more lively lately. He brings Yoongi to life. I think he's someone Yoongi's always needed in his life.

"I honestly dont think stuff like that exists in real life, jimin" he sighed and shook his head. Sitting up and pulling away from me.

My eyes instantly darted towards Jungkook. To hear that love doesn't exist almost made me laugh. I wanted to laugh because when I look at Jungkook I think about his smile and laugh. I think of the sassy remarks and even the few normal conversations we've had. How when we lost it, we laid against each other and our heart beats matched perfectly. I didn't laugh though. Simply because a love like ours was complicated. At the moment, it didn't deserve to mock a statement like that. Id didn't deserve to mock it when it was so pathetic itself.

"I do" i still said, ignoring the bitter and negative part of me.

"shits complicated" Hoseok sighed.

The movie had come to an end. Perfectly in sync with our conversations end. And so just like that, he sat for a moment before shaking his head, kissing my forehead and patting my shoulder, and standing to leave.

"i'm going to hang out with Yoongi a bit, we'll hang out again later"

I only nodded and smiled, like I usually do. As Hoseok walked off, my attention went to Jungkook. Still sleeping carelessly. Surely to wake up in pain if I don't do something about it.

So I did. Lifting his legs onto the couch, then tucking a cushion under his head for support. There's a small knit through that Counselor-nim keeps out here, so I unfolded that and laid it over him. I had the urge to kiss his cheek, but held back. Instead pushing his messy hair out of his face and smiling to myself.

"Rest well"

I turned towards the stairs. On my way to my lonely room to spend my 17th alone. Thinking about all that's happened. Wishing I'd just hid my dildo's better.
Wondering if maybe i'm not meant be with any of the guys here. Not Yoongi or Jungkook.

Well, I'm not sure 'happy' is a way to put it, but I suppose 'happy birthday' to myself. A person who's parents only could love a straight son, a person who's friends will slowly start to leave one by one, a person who loves, but can't get that love returned properly, and a person who just want's someone in his life to latch on. No more temps.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jungkook's POV

"Rest well" were his last words before hearing his footsteps fade.

It's only now that being such a light sleeper was something I could come to regret. Despite not being able to change that about myself, I regret it.

"jimin... why do you have to be so sincere?"

-
I have a fever
Im in pain