gay house BTSxBTS

36

- Hi! I have a whole lot of life responsibilities that i'm making the poor choice to avoid with my fanfiction so hello. I hate school and driving and im 18 tomorrow and my life sucks so thats that.

-

JM pov

I don't know how it happened. All these days passed by in a blur. One day I was crying on Tae's shoulder. The next week was a blur.

And now- well, now I'm in my bed. Cuddled up next to Jungkook. He was completely naked. I was in his sweater he was wearing the other day. Again, I repeat, i dont know how it happened.

It's not like we drank. Not like we got high. I just have been so out of it these last few days that I can't even remember how we ended up in this situation.

His body tangled with mine. His breath against my chest. My hand in his hair, raking through it. The way his arm was slung around me. I felt cozy.

When I look over to his back, i saw red nail marks. When i look to his neck, I see purple love bites. When I look down at my hips, I see nail marks. My lips still feel swollen. I readjust myself some, then the ache begins to settle in.

This is when last night came to mind. Bed creaking. Both of us crying. Both of us grabbing at each other so needly. His tears kissing my cheeks just as his lips would meet mine. His thumb running over my cheek to wipe not on his, but my own tears too.

I remember counselor nim saying he trusted Yoongi to watch us all while he runs out to the store. I then remember hearing Jungkook crying in the bathroom. I remember hearing him muttering how shitty things are.

Then I banged on the door. He came out dressed, but his hair was wet. He yelled "what" in my face and I jumped back. I wanted to cry right then, but when I saw that he'd beat me to it, i couldnt. I just wanted to hold him. I asked if we could talk. I dragged him to my room.

We talked, but talking turned into shouting, which turned into crying, which suddenly turned into kissing, and from there- we were both so far gone we couldn't hold back.

"D-did we-" I hear

"Yes" my voice was so dull, sounding distant even though I was right beside him.

He got up. Quickly finding his underwear and pants and searching for his shirt all over, not even realizing it was on me. He didn't because he couldnt even look at me.

"Jungkook"

"What"

I got up. He paid me no attention as he searched for his shirt still. If i stood in front of him, he'd turn and look a different direction.

I wrapped my arms around him. Resting my face against his back and closing my eyes. His body stiffened.

"Jimin-" he sighed. I smiled a bit hearing my name come from him so calmly. "I need my shirt"

"Jungkook I... will you please stop? This isn't that bad of a situation in reality... and I- I don't want to fight anymore" I said.c

"Dont, Jimin"

I hate how he acts like it couldnt be fixed. This fights over nothing.

"Jungkook, please" i paused "i like you"

"Well I dont like you. I don't like anyone. I'm- I'm so tired of wanting attention. I just-" he stopped talking abruptly. I waited for him to continued, but when he let out a sigh I knew he was done talking.

"Stop making me worry about you when you didn't even like me originally"

I didn't expect me to say that, but it just came out. Its true after all. I'm working hard for something he didnt want to begin with, and for something he's decided just now that he doesn't want too.

"I-I liked someone else and you took that away from me, you know" I whispered. My voice become so small.

"it was your choice to like me. My choice to ignore that you clearly liked Yoongi. And it's my choice now to ignore both of our feelings all together" he said as he pulled himself away from me.

He began towards the door as if that was the end of it.

"I-I think i love you Jungkook"

He laughed a bit after hearing that. We both know what I feel isn't love. What he feels isn't love. We don't even know what love is. What we do know, is there are a lot of feelings here. Yet only one of us at a time is willing to explore them. While we struggle to get the other on the same page.

"I think out of every feeling you could have for me, in the end, you only pity me. So please learn the difference"

And he was gone.

-

My emo-ness really brought itself out into this chapter

Anyways im in 2 english classes my senior year and i love them ok bye