gay house BTSxBTS

34

Jin POV

Namjoon well asleep half way through the movie. He always does that when we watch movies. I use to find it a bit cute, but all I can feel right now is irritated.

We couldn't laugh at any part together. We couldn't break off into side conversations when something caught our attention. We couldn't cuddle into each other because he sleeps completely limp, no grabbing me and holding me in his arms. It was useless.

When Taehyung and I sneak down to watch movies, I can cuddle into him. He'll hold me by my waist and my head and comfortable rest on his chest. We always will laugh together. We can make jokes and references. He can tell me I'm more handsome than the main character. No matter what, watching movies with Tae at night was like a breath of fresh air. He was comforting in every way. Comforting to talk to, comforting to hold- to be held by.

I don't feel empty with him. I don't feel like I need to match my intelligence to his. I don't feel like I need to be overly clingy and lovey with him, it's all relaxed to a pace that I really do enjoy. Rather than hyping him up constantly just so he knows I love him, just so maybe for once he'd hype me up too. He's always hyping me up. I deserve to be hyped up. I'm perfect.

I sighed then. Turning off the T.V with a bit of a pout. I pulled him up a bit.

"Come on, Joon. Lets get you upstairs, ok?"

He stood on his own. Smiling a bit towards me as I brought him to the stairs. It took a while, but eventually we got there. I guided him to his bed. Managing to lay him beneath his covers and then tucking him in.

"Stay with me tonight" he mumbled.

"I wish, but you know I can't"

He didn't reply after that. He's out. Looking at him as he'd quickly fallen back asleep, I felt my chest tighten. My heart hurt a bit. I know what I'm doing to him's wrong, and I know he deserves better. Yet, I can't find it in me to stop Tae and I's relationship.

That's what it is at this point. A relationship. It was one thing to sleep with him, but now I'm half-heartedly with him. Namjoon didn't deserve that. I feel justified somehow though. I tell myself I just need more attention, and Tae's willing to give me that. I know better than that though. I know there is no justifying this. I'm either wrong or I'm not. No excuses, no reasoning. I'm cheating on my boyfriend and I can't even be bothered to stop.

It makes me feel sick knowing I'm this way. Knowing it's completely a conscious choice. Knowing I really could stop anytime, but definitely choose not to. Knowing I have feeling for Taehyung enough to prefer to cheat rather than be loyal to Namjoon. It made me feel disgusting. Yet, I'd do it over and over again without wanting to undo anything.
I don't regret cheating whatsoever, and that's truly what leaves me so sick.

I'd left his room. Closing the door quietly behind me. Only to jump a bit when I heard a deep voice.

"He asleep?"

I turned to see Taehyung in a towel. Water dripping from his hair down his glowing skin. I looked him up and down before I nodded quickly.

He smiled at that and walked over to me. Pulling me into him and laying his lips against mine. He smiled sweetly and held my waist.

"Hoseok's sleepig too so we can't go to my room" he let me know before he leaned forward and kissed my neck.

Planting little pecks here and there. I tilted my head for him and my eyes fluttered shut as I held onto him. A slight gasp escaping my lips as I felt him begin nipping at my neck slightly followed by constant pecks here and there.

"Yoongi's probably reading or something" I managed to reply.

His hands grasped my backside and pushed me tightly against him. He rocked our hips slightly. The friction feeling rough yet still arousing.

"How was the movie? It's really to bad you couldn't join my bath. Not even a little visit" you could hear the jealousy in his void.

I felt him suck lightly. Nipping here and there while doing so. And as good it felt, my heart sped up.

"I-it was goo- Ah! T-Tae don't leave any marks, please"

Not before licking my neck, did he pull away. Frowning a bit as he rolled his eyes. It had to of been playful, though. It didn't take long for him to smile at me reassuringly.

"Don't worry. I wouldn't" he spoke out

"Um... I'm going to go to sleep"

He held onto both my hands. Letting his thumbs rub into the back of my hands. He smiled sweetly trying to look into my eyes. I avoided eye contact, feeling a bit gloomy just in general. Yet, he kept moving around to wherever my eyes fell. Eventually getting me to crack a smile. I laughed a bit as his boxy smile grew larger.

"Goodnight, handsome" he finally spoke.

Then dismissing me with a peck on the lips"

My heart felt full then. It replaced the heavy and dreary feeling. My face felt hot and I'd quickly turned to go to my room, not wanting him to see me so embarrassed. And once I was inside, all I could do was sigh and smile.

"What's that smile for? Namjoon get some?" I heard Yoongi question.

Instantly, I shook my head. Not letting my smile fall from my face as I walked to my bed and laid down.

"I'm just.. im really happy..."

And its true. I feel happier from just one kiss and 2 words than I've ever felt with Joon in our several years of dating. I'm so happy and it's ridiculous. It shouldnt even be possible to make me feel so good so easily, but Taehyung does. So now, I'm incredibly happy. I can't think it enough! I'm so damn happy.

but i shouldnt be...