My Visions

Chapter 64

A/N:  Here is another chapter.  I hope you enjoy it.

Ming POV

I put off telling Kit the truth for one day and I want help. What am I saying, I need help to tell him. If it is left up to me, I will keep chickening out and I'll never tell him. So Forth and Yo have agreed to be here to support me and I've decided to take the coward's way out and ask Kit to come to my room and talk. So now I'm pacing around my room while Forth and Yo are trying to calm me.

Forth sternly snips, "N'Ming, sit down before you wear a whole in the carpet from your pacing."

I'm so afraid tonight will go badly. I have this gut feeling that this isn't going to go well. UGH!!! My dream is that I tell Kit who I really am, and he doesn't care. He gives me a kiss and tells me that he loves me no matter what. However, I have this little nagging feeling in the bottom of my gut that it isn't going to go like my dream.

I don't hear Forth because I'm still focused on that little nagging feeling and I continue to pace back and forth in my room. I nearly jump out of my skin when Yo gently puts his hands on my shoulders. While still fidgeting with a pencil that I have in my hands, Yo softly and gently says, "N'Ming, everything is going to be all right. Stop worrying. Kit loves you and he will stay by you. You are worrying about nothing."

Yo's words don't do anything to calm my nerves or my concern. I hesitantly look into Yo's eyes and with a trembling voice, I say, "You don't understand. Kit is afraid that I'll leave him, and he still thinks that I will hurt him. This may be the excuse he needs to leave me. I can't let him leave. I need him in my life. He already has my heart and it will shatter me if he leaves me."

Yo gently rubs my arm trying to sooth my fear but it doesn't help.

Knock. Knock.

Fear pierces my heart and my eyes dart up to Yo's. I'm frozen in place and I think I even stopped breathing. What if he leaves? What will I do? I can't live without him.

Forth walks over to the door and opens it. Kit, Beam and Pha walk in. Beam quickly gives Forth a kiss and everyone strolls into the room. Pha walks up to me and I can see Yo give Pha a concerned look and motion towards me. Pha smiles and whispers, "It will be all right. We will all be here to help you."

Everyone finds places to sit while Yo stays by my side for moral support. I don't know if Forth told Beam what was going to be discussed but I'm hoping that he did. I just want to focus on Kit and how he is going to react.

Beam sits on Forth's lap and asks, "So what is so important that we all need to come to N'Ming's room?"

Well, I guess that is my queue. I clear my throat and I take a deep breath. "Well, you know the moon and star competition is in a couple of days. Uhm, well, uhm, my parents are, uhm, going to, uhm, be there." I stop and take another deep breath, but my hands are still sweating non-stop and I think I have buckets of sweat rolling off my body everywhere. I look at Kit and with a trembling voice, I continue. "I'm kind of like P'Yo, uhm, and I haven't been using, uhm, my real last name, uhm, at the university. My full name is Mingkwan Dechapayna. My father is Mr. Dechapayna, uhm, who is, uhm, good friends with, uhm, Yo's dad and, uhm, very powerful but not as powerful as Yo's dad." I slowly look up to see Kit's expression and there is none. I don't see fear or hatred, but I also don't see love or carrying either. It is just blank. This is not good.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Forth motioning for Beam to remain quiet. I take a couple wobbly steps towards Kit hoping for something. Anything that will tell me he will be all right with this. I whisper, "P'KitKat, I want you to meet my dad the night of my competition. All my other friends will be meeting him too." I stop, and Kit still hasn't moved. No, this isn't happening. He isn't taking the news well. My heart begins to pound erratically as my fears are coming true. No, no, no. Kit don't give up. Don't use this to end things. I beg, "Please, P'KitKat, tell me that you will meet my dad."

As I look at Kit, I suddenly see his eyes begin to water and a few lone tears run down his cheeks. This isn't how this is supposed to go. He is not to care about my status or my family name. He is to tell me that he loves me no matter what and we are to kiss. Why is it turning out like this?

Kit looks directly into my eyes and I suddenly see hurt and pain. Why does this news cause those feelings? Kit shakily says, "I have got to go." Without acknowledging anyone or anything, Kit gets up and quickly leaves my room. I immediately collapse on the floor the tears begin to flow. I don't care who is in the room. I feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest and thrown on the floor. The pain is overwhelming.

Before I realize what is happening, Yo's arms are wrapped tightly around me and rubbing my back. His soft gentle voice is whispering, "It will be all right. N'Kit is in shock. That is all. He will come back."

I feel Forth's big hand patting my shoulder. He also whispers, "Don't worry, Ai'Pha and Ai'Beam will talk to him. He will come back."

No matter what they say, the pain doesn't go away, and the tears don't stop. I don't stop crying until everything goes black and I pass out from the pain.

***

Kit POV

I'm wondering down the street, but I don't even know where I'm going. What did Ming just say? He is from a powerful family like Wayo. His family is going to expect him to marry a girl. They will never accept the fact that he is with me. I will never be able to give him children. I don't have a powerful family. No, my family is middle income and we don't have extra money to throw around. How will they ever accept a plain man like me?

I continue to walk aimlessly. Without even realizing it, Beam's car is driving along side of me as I walk. I don't hear Beam yelling and I can't hear him honk the car horn. Nothing sinks in until Pha stands in front of me and grabs my arms firmly and shakes me.

I snap out of my daze and my endless thoughts to look at Pha. I don't snap or scold at him like I normally would. I simply look blankly into his eyes as a few more lone tears run down my cheek. I don't say anything. I don't even know what to say.

Pha asks, "Ai'Kit, are you, all right?"

I don't react, and I don't say anything. I'm numb but a growing pain is starting to engulf my body as my chest becomes tight and I begin to have problems breathing. Subconsciously, I grab my chest and more tears begin to roll down my face. It hurts so much. I suddenly gasp out, "Ming!!"

I feel Beam's arms firmly hugging my shoulders as he guides me to the car. I don't realize what is going on. Beam helps me into the car before him and Pha get back in the front. The only thing that I can focus on is the pain that keeps getting worse by the second and my heart that feels like it is in vise grip that keeps clamping down tighter and tighter. I slowly look up and with a trembling voice, I slowly say, "Ming, they won't let you stay with me."

Pha and Beam both try to comfort me, but I don't hear anything they say. I can only hear, "blah, blah, blah." My mind begins to once again go back to Ming's parents and his family. How could they accept Ming with me, a guy? I know they will want him to marry a girl. All powerful families want their children to marry the way society expects them to. Boys marry girls and girls marry boys. Now where in there does it say boys marry boys or girls marry girls. Ming's family will never allow it. I'm sure they hate me even though they have never met me.

Still in my daze, Beam guides me out of the car and up to my dorm room. I haven't come out of my daze and I'm still not hearing anything from my surroundings. Pha and Beam guide me into my room and help me take my shoes off. They guide me to the sofa and gently sit me down. I can feel Beam hug me, but I don't move. The pain in my chest continues to grow and is now starting to take over my entire body. I don't know how long I sat there but I can feel Pha and Beam continue to try and calm me down.

Without saying anything, I get up and go to thebathroom. I can still hear mumbling behind me, but the actual words still don't register in my mind. As if I'm a robot, I go to the toilet and do my business. As I'm washing my hands something catches my eye and my body finally acknowledges my surroundings. My eyes dart to the one thing that calls my name and my eyes shoot wide open and the pain shoots through my entire body as I scream, "MING!!! IT IS HURTS SO MUCH!!!! HELP ME!!!!" As my vision goes black, my eyes never leave Ming's toothbrush that sits on the sink.

A/N:  This was such an emotional chapter for me and I have to admit that I was crying while writing it.