how am i? (1)

Can't Move

Yoki

Oh boy am I pissed about this. The way this all started I will get into later, but basically mj added yoki to the group chat to ask what he liked about me because I'm not in a good place right now and she thought it could help. Guess what his response was? I don't like her anymore so.... I DON'T LIKE HER ANYMORE SO!!! He's a jerk. The definition of a jerk. And I was blinded by love according to every 80s song ever. I should've listened. I should've realized earlier. I was trying to drift, because I realized it. I was to late though. It didn't hurt. It did suck though.

I Told Them

I've been lying about how my days have been recently. I've been saying everything was fine when it wasn't. I gained half a pound last week. It's not that significant, but it sent me into this spiral. I've been making myself throw up. I know. It's crazy. My brain is crazy. It didn't just bring on the throw up crazy though, it also gave my brain the upper hand. I'm back to thinking these awful thoughts. It feels like I'm drowning, but I can't move my limbs. Have you ever tried swimming without your arms or your legs? It's impossible. I'm stuck. I can't get out. It feels like my brain has kidnapped me and locked me up. It threw away the key, and I have to get it. It's impossible. I can't escape. I'm stuck. Help.

No Soccer

All week I was looking forward to soccer practice. It was gonna be my time to get all my anger and sadness out. It was canceled. I guess that tells you how my day has been going.

Daily Overview

1/10

This day has been awful. The last few have been too. I don't know what to do.

Bye <3