Today felt the same as yesterday.
I don't understand why I don't confide in my friends. They tell me over and over that they are here for me and that I can talk to them, but my stupid brain keeps telling me that will think I'm crazy. That they won't be there anymore. I texted them yesterday, but I hated it. I don't like relying on other people. I got through this last time by myself, but I don't know if I can do that again. My brain tells me they will hate me for the things I think, but they don't yet. My depression can be very crippling at times. It can knock me down, and it takes a long time to get back up. I keep staring off into space. I'm just sitting there thinking about these awful thoughts. If you see me and I'm staring off into space and I don't look like I'm listening to whatever the conversation is, please start talking to me. I need a distraction.
I also keep fake laughing and smiling. I don't think I genuinely smiled or laughed at all today. I'm falling down into a bottomless pit of self hate, and I need to get out, but I can't by myself. Not again. Please, I'm begging you, if you see me staring off into space, please try to bring me back.
Bye <3
CITEȘTI
how am i? (1)
Non-ficțiuneThis is a daily updated journal/diary thing that started in January of 2018 and has not ended yet. There will be a part two to this book, because I've found writing in this book so relaxing and helpful when it comes to my mental health. • • • Somet...
