Can't hate you || e.d

Two sides

"I won't tell you to stay away from him because I'll kill him.. but.. get yourself back together and remember who you're talking to. You're not like this." and at the point he was the only one talking. "You can be glad that I'm not taking your phone away." he continued and I was really glad about that because I didn't want him to read out messages..

I took a deep breath.

"You can pray that you're my daughter, otherwise you would be dead now." he said and he was very serious... it hurt.. it hurt him probably more than me.. "It's all his fault. He's confusing you... destroying you.." he was talking about Dean again. If he would've only known that Dean was the only now who made me special and brought some color into my life.. he was the only one who made me feel things that I've never felt before.

"Now go and tell him a last time how much you love him because in a few hours he won't be alive anymore."
That was the way he told me to go up to my room and that he was done with me.

And he knew it.. I was in love with Dean.. I really fell for him and I couldn't change it. I couldn't change anything about it and I didn't want to change anything about it.

I grabbed my bag and walked up the stairs.

He only turned his head around to me. "I don't want to see you for the next twenty four hours.." his deep voice.. was so cold.. like I didn't mean anything to him. He made me feel so uncomfortable and bad.. I hated that he didn't have mercy with me like he did with Moon and each of his mistakes. I whispered totally angry.. "I hate you." and I knew he heard it but I didn't care.

I entered my room and locked the door. I ran my hands over my face and took another deep breath. I knew that I made a huge mistake and made them worry a lot for nothing.. I knew what I've done and how bad it was.. but he didn't need to exaggerate so much.. he didn't need to be so mean.. I already regretted what I said and he knew that because he saw it in my eyes but that didn't matter to him anymore.. I was so angry at everything. Mostly at myself.. There was so much more I wanted scream in his face...

I just couldn't understand him. He just wanted drama. He wanted to be a cold badass dad. That was literally another level of strictness. He needed to chill a little bit more like he did it with Moon.. that's what bothered and hurt me the most.. he was so soft and normal when it came to him.. like I meant nothing to him..

I wasn't a bird that he could lock into a cage.

Dean's dad just saw him and his girlfriend and he was so chill and nice. He was so polite.. so kind and so happy about it.. He was just as positive as me and I didn't know why but I felt like I've known him for years... just like it felt with Dean. I felt so close to them that I was almost awkward but it was probably because they were so welcoming..

Moon

There was so much that I wanted to say to Sun. But in my eyes dad handled it very well. He was my biggest and best role model. My idol. And she was stubborn.. she really changed, I could barely recognize her. She was so disrespectful and loud.. I never thought that she would talk like this to him but I knew that Dean had a bad influence and I was going to handle that with him very very soon before dad wold do it.. He left after she went up because he needed to free his mind. I left him alone. I wasn't sure what he was going to do but I hoped he wasn't going to kill Dean because that was my job..

I was going to beat him up until she wouldn't be able to recognize his face again.. He was going to regret talking to my little sister and making her say these things. Who the hell was he? No one in my eyes. And soon, no one in her eyes as well.

Sun

Of course I couldn't sleep so I watched the sun rising. I would rise like that too one day and they would all see...

For the first time I couldn't sleep because of my thoughts. My brain didn't shut up and I wasn't even tired.. Since my lovely dad didn't allow me to go to school, there was no need to get ready. It was sickening and crazy.. he was really exaggerating. I've never seen someone so extra.

But one thing that hurt the most was that dad wasn't going to trust me ever again like he did before... he was never going to see me with the same eyes again. I ever wanted it to escalate like this and I didn't want to change and talk like this to him but things happened and I was sorry. I was really sorry and I knew that he saw it in my eyes but I couldn't take anything back and it didn't mater anymore... He wasn't even mad when I told him that I'm dating Dean. As if that was exactly what he expected from me.. his only problem was that I was disappearing..

To be honest I had enough of life in that moment. I wanted things to be easy and uncomplicated instead of difficult. I didn't want to hurt him or get hurt by him.. I wanted to go through this all without arguing.. I hated myself for how I acted up..

Either he wasn't understanding me or I wasn't understanding him. Maybe both.

I was really worrying about Dean.. I didn't want him to get hurt. Especially not by my dad, because of me. He was the only one who made me feel free and showed me a new world. Who made me feel comfortable and different... I realized how much he really meant to me..

Dean

Before I went to school I realized how happy dad was. I went down for breakfast and I swear the table was covered with things I loved. Pancakes, fruits, yogurt, milkshakes, my protein shake and other stuff.. It was smelling so good that I thought I was somewhere else. I've never been more suspicious. I really thought he was going to poison me..

Blake was on his phone, sitting in his chair, eating some strawberries while I was trying to figure out if this all was real or not. I didn't know if I could trust him this time.. if I should breakfast with them or go and eat somewhere else.. before I could make that decision dad came out of nowhere with more pancakes..

"Good Morning Dean!" he said happily stroking my head after he put the plates on the table. I shook my head.. He was confusing me. Either he wanted something from me or.. he wanted something from me.

"I made all of this for you!". He definitely wanted something from me. I sat down in one of the chairs.. I looked at all the food... "Okay, am I going to die right after I eat it or later?" I asked and he rolled his eyes. Blake laughed. "Don't be stupid Dean! Nothing is going to kill you! I love you too much to kill you." he answered and I almost snorted. He sat down across from me and I said "That's a fat ass lie."

The way his moods were changing was overwhelming... I was asking myself in what kind of creeps hands I was. I couldn't wait until I was going to turn eighteen. I already planned it.

Either I was going to kill myself or I was going to move far far away from here.. Everything that was far away from him was good for me.

He kept smiling.

Then he started talking about Sun and I realized what this all was for...