Can't hate you || e.d

Attraction

But that was my superpower that nobody knew about and I was enjoying it.

Of course I didn't cry since I was nine.

"You're different and you need to take care of yourself and protect yourself before anyone tries to ruin you!"

He was right with everything.. that's what I was thinking of every day. So I nodded.

I would never let anyone ruin me.
"Be careful. Especially about with girls." he added and I looked at him.

"They'll make you believe that they're not like the other girls.. they'll say things to fool you. Then they'll make you fall in love with them.. find your weakness and leave you."

He was talking like he went through it like a hundred times. I wasn't sure if I should be worried or not.

"So have fun with them and be the one who leaves them."

I nodded again.

Sun

After lunch I was almost about to lose it because we were sitting together in one class.

Of course I wasn't the only one who already had a crush on him because the way all the girls looked at him, showed how popular he already was. I mean I didn't have a crush.. he was just really attractive and I couldn't take my eyes off him. I just wanted him to look at me one last time so I could see his bright eyes that did something to me..

Oh my god.. I had a crush on him..
That was so dumb. I didn't even know him. It was so unbelievably stupid to have crush on him only because of his physical appearance. What if he was a douchebag? What if he was a sexist or disgusting or something? All I knew was his name and that he was a badboy and extremely handsome.

I looked at him.. Actually I was trying to concentrate but that was impossible when he was sitting in front of me like that...
How could I have a crush on someone? I wasn't in middle school and I didn't even have a crush in middle school. I've never had that before at all! I was always busy with school, sports and other stuff. A lot of guys asked me out and asked me for prom and other things but I never went out with them. I never had a boyfriend or my first kiss.

I was a helpless romantic. I was waiting for the right guy because I wanted it to be something serious. I wanted love that's problematic and unconditional. I wanted to fight for it and I wanted that person to love me a lot. I wanted to be happy and built a family. I wanted someone who was harsh to everybody except me. I wanted to be his only weakness and soft side. I wanted it to be like it was in the movies and books..

My dad would've killed me if he would've known about this all. About this whole situation and what I wanted. Especially if he would've know that Dean always kept looking over at me with that devilish smirk.. I almost got a heart attack every time he did that. And every time when he turned back around, I bit my lip and felt like I was in heaven.

Chloe noticed that and of course I told her how I felt and that was going on with me, hoping she would slap these thoughts and feelings out of me. I wanted her to tell me that I was stupid so I could stop questioning myself.. She told me that this this was normal but I still didn't feel well about it because I didn't want to fall for someone who was going to break my heart. Someone who just wanted a relationship that wasn't serious.

I was such an innocent and shy girl.. and he was danger.. trouble.. and fire in person. He was the opposite of me. The way he licked his lips and put his hands on his thighs when he was sitting or looking at me... made me feel like I couldn't breathe.

And when he took off his jacket I stopped breathing for a second.. I could see his muscular arms.. his arms were completely covered with tattoos and a few scratches.. he also had a bandage on the top of his left arm. It looked like there was a deep wound underneath it. His tattoos.. were so dark and seemed so meaningful..