park chanyeol imagines | editing

for him

this is sort of a part 2 of the goodbye one, it will be sad.

baekhyun took my hand and led me onto the stage, handing me a microphone and pulling me into his side.

"hi everyone." i said to the crowd. "so, i asked the boys if i could come on stage today and sing something for chanyeol. as you know, it's been a month since he died, and i'm still not coping with it. we thought it might be a good idea for me to come up and sing something, so that's what i'm going to do. i'll be singing i'll smile even though it hurts, by ladies' code."

the music started so baekhyun let go of me but i pulled him back, holding his arm.

"i need you." i whispered. he nodded and put his arm back around me. i looked back at the audience and started singing.

I still can't believe it
It feels like I could still see you
I tell myself that it's a lie
The fact that you left my side
Your face that's smiling in the photo
The past days that seemed would last forever
But one day, suddenly
You left my side

But I won't cry, so you won't feel bad
I'll try living without you now
No matter how much it hurts, even if tears keep coming
I wanna smile, I wanna think of you and smile

I tell myself that I forgot you, that I'm okay now
But no matter how much I pretend
I keep thinking of you
And tears keep flowing

i heard mumbling so i looked where i saw someone pointing and a slide show of pictures of chanyeol was playing. i felt a choke in the back of my throat seeing pictures of him smiling but managed to keep singing along.

But I won't cry, so you won't feel bad
I'll try living without you now
No matter how much it hurts, even if tears keep coming
I wanna smile, I wanna think of you and smile

When my heart was aching and hurting
Many good people comforted me
I hope you have that too wherever you are
I pray that you're happy

But I won't cry, so you won't feel bad
I'll try living without you now
No matter how much it hurts, even if tears keep coming
I wanna smile, I wanna think of you and smile
I'll smile even if it hurts

when i sang the last note, the picture of chanyeol proposing to me popped up and i finally broke down.

"i love you... i wish you hadn't gone so soon, i miss you so much." i whispered, burying my face in my hands. i felt arms wrap around me from behind then jongin started whispering comforting words in my ear.

"i know chanyeol misses you, too, love. he would have loved to hear you sing for him." junmyeon said.

"i want him back, i want to hug him again, i want to kiss him again, i just went to tell him i love him one last time." i said.

"he's listening, baby, he's definitely listening, he knows everything." baekhyun said, kissing my forehead. i wrapped my arms around him and felt all of the other boys join in our hug.

"we love you, (y/n)!" all of the fans yelled. i pulled away from baekhyun and smiled gently at all of them.

"thank you, i love you all, too." i replied. i looked back up at the picture of chanyeol and blew him a kiss, then made my way off stage. i sat down on the couch in the boys' dressing room and found my favourite picture of me and chanyeol, kissing after he proposed. i sighed then shut my phone off, leaning back against the couch. i wish i could have him back.

so, i started and stopped writing this three times and cried every time, but i kind of like it. i hope you guys don't cry too much, and i hope you like it :)