f o r t y - t w o

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It's been a week. Since Donghyuk left. Since Yoongi hasn't left his room and barely talked to anyone. Chanyeol is the only person he sometimes talks to. Only because he was the one, finding a crying Yoongi on the floor, hugging his knees and crying into his thighs.

The older has never seen Yoongi in a state like this since he always seems to be the tough and strong type but of course even the strongest guy has a weak side.

That's why Chanyeol tries to be a good friend and help him with no matter what, even if Yoongi says he is fine, he obviously isn't. There's no way he can be fine. The guy he developed feelings for is deadly sick, has cancer, and will probably die because of it, since most of the patients die due this disease.

After Donghyuk left Yoongi cried a lot till he decide to drive to the airport, even if Chanyeol said he shouldn't go. But of course he didn't listen so they drove to the airport and searched for Donghyuk but it was too late. The next day Yoongi went to the airport again and waited for many hours, till late night. The following day he waited again, but Donghyuk was already gone.

So he stopped waiting, but he didn't stop thinking about the younger.

After a few days in which the latter only stayed in his room, barely ate, mostly slept, Yoongi received a message from an unknown number.

Unknown number
Hello, my name is Song Yunhyeong. I'm the man in front of Donghyuk on the photos you received a while ago. I'm in charge of taking care of Donghyuk's mental health and I'm staying by his side to make sure he has someone to talk with etc. That's my job.

Actually I shouldn't talk to you since Donghyuk wants you to forget about him but I wanted to make some things clear.- i think you deserve to know a little bit more about Donghyuk's health.

He is fine for now, he started his chemotherapy yesterday. His mother is always with him, since his father died in the first week of summer break.
I just wanted to tell you these things. Don't worry about Donghyuk since that's what he doesn't want you to do. He is in good hands.

Regards

sent 9:04am
read 11:56am

Yoongi read the message over and over again, but never replied. He can't. He is ashamed of himself. For accusing Donghyuk of cheating on him, when he in fact talked to a therapist who will help him with his mental state. Yoongi wants to hit himself for being so stupid and not trusting Donghyuk when he told the older to trust him.

Yoongi didn't reply because he simply can't. Just the thought about the younger lying in a cold hospital bed surrounded by white walls and people in white clothes, when he actually belongs next to Yoongi in his arms on his bed, makes him cry.

It's so painful.

Every thought about the sick younger is a stab in his heart.
He feels numb.
His whole body feels empty as if all emotions left it but at the same time are stuck inside and he doesn't know how to handle all this.
It's too much. Too strong. And Yoongi, Yoongi is weak. Too weak.


Another bunch of days passed and today Yoongi will meet his two friends, Jin and Namjoon. They will meet at the café Yoongi where works. He hasn't worked for a while since he said he is sick but starting from Monday he has to go working again.

Yoongi called Namjoon a few days ago and told him everything, not being able to talk about it without crying.
They said they will come to the café on Saturday and now the latter is getting ready for their meeting.

When Yoongi arrived he was greeted by Jackson who aksed him if he was feeling better and if he was still sick. They talked a little bit till Jackson went to work again and Yoongi sat down at an empty table, ordering three cappuccinos since they all love cappuccino.

Not long after Seokjin and Namjoon walked into the café and as soon as the eldest noticed Yoongi he rushes over to him. Without hesitation Jin pulls his Dongsaeng into a hug, "I'm so so sorry."

The older doesn't want to let him go while Namjoon whispers a quiet 'let the poor boy breathe' under his breath, but Jin doesn't care. He missed his little baby.

"It's okay Hyung.." Yoongi says, trying to get out of Seokjin's embrace to greet his other best friend. Namjoon weakly smiles at Yoongi before saying hello to the other.

They sat down and not long after their order arrives, with it an oppressive silence arose, none of them knowing how to start the conversation. There were no words for this situation.

"How are you feeling?" Namjoon is the first one to cut the silence, Seokjin just holding Yoongi's hand while sitting in front of him.

Yoongi shrugs, "I don't know, trying to figure it out.."

Seokjin looks at him with sad eyes, he hates seeing Yoongi like this. He hates seeing the people he loves and cares for, in pain and so hurt. If he was able to he would take all the pain away from the younger. But how should he do this..?

"I know it's hard but I think you should move on." Namjoon says looking into Yoongi's eyes. Jin is the one to comfort others but Namjoon is in charge of talking, he knows how to use his words. Other than in the past but now he changed.

Yoongi immediately looks up to his friend frowning slightly.

"I'm sure that's what Donghyuk wants. That you continue your life and live it. The least thing he would want is that you throw it away, cry for hour or push everyone away from you. That's definitely not what he wants you to do. He wants you to be happy." Namjoon continues, not breaking the eye contact for the whole time even if Yoongi has already looked away.

"You never know what the future will bring. I can't promise anything but maybe he will be healthy again, you don't know what will happen neither do I. But that's why you shouldn't throw everything away. Try to move on, it's the best and only thing you can do now."

Yoongi is speechless, he hasn't said much since they met but now there are really no words for Yoongi left.
So he nods. Slowly, but it's a nod.

Maybe he is right, maybe Namjoon is right.








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