pricked » yoonmin [FF]

s i x t y - n i n e

"Still nothing new?"

The blonde male shakes his head, a sad smile on his lips, "No, we talked three days ago. Thats it."

"Hyung should I come back? Like seriously if you need me, I will come back-", the younger one says, but Jimin cuts him off.

"No Jungkookie, you shouldn't end your trip just because of me.", Jimin says, feeling the pout on Jungkook's lips through the phone, "more over I have Jin Hyung and Taehyungie here with me. I'm fine, really." The boy on the other line sighs but he still tries to believe his Hyung. They talked for a while before hanging up. Jimin snuggles into the soft blanket and sighs quietly.

It's been two weeks since Yoongi left and since then, they have barely talked. He seemed so busy, Jimin didn't want to bother him so after a while he stopped texting or calling him. He always waited for Yoongi to call or text him but the last time was three days ago.

The blonde male tries to be understanding, but he is still hurt. Sad, scared, lonely. He misses his Hyung so much, his boyfriend, his lover. The big apartment feels so empty without Yoongi in it to light up Jimins mood, to make him feel warm and safe. Right now, he feels nothing but loneliness and sadness.

His friend tried to make him feel better, to comfort him, to distract him, but his head and heart is only with one particular person. His love and happiness belongs to him, he is the cause of his happiness, and now that he is gone, Jimin doesn't know how to feel. What to do. Everything was perfect. Everything seemed to be in the right place. But now Jimin feels as if their small beautiful world is falling apart. Yoongi said he will come back, he has to, but will it be the same? 

Will their love be the same? Will Yoongi be the same after losing someone he used to like? Jimin knows that a lot of time has passed since they two liked each other but he knows that Yoongi cares about him and that he for sure will need some time to find his peace after his loss.

Jimin feels like drowning, drowning into cold water, he feels sick and tired, empty and lonely. He is so scared, with every new day without Yoongi, he can feel himself drowning deeper and deeper. His heart aches when thinking about his lover.

Jimin wants to be understanding and supporting, hoping that the boy Donghyuk may has some hope left and if not that he has a beautiful and peaceful death. And he hopes, that Yoongi won't be too broken, that he can heal fast and go on with his life, his job and moreover his relationship with Jimin. Call him selfish, but Jimin wishes that when Yoongi comes back, their love won't change.

Yoongi said he won't stay for too long, but what does it mean? How long is not too long? 2 weeks have passed already and Jimin thought it wouldn't be that long. He hoped. But it doesn't seem like Yoongi will come back any time soon. The blonde male thought he just wanted to say his goodbye, but something tells him, that Yoongi will stay with Donghyuk till the very end.

So Jimin has to stay patient, waiting for his lover to return to him. But he wasn't angry with Yoongi, no he could never. Yoongi is just being a good friend, he couldn't just look away from someone who is about to die.

Yoongi has a big heart, it's so big, and full of love and selflessness. He is such a good person, he went through so much pain and suffer, so many heartbreaks and still he is giving all his love to Jimin day in day out. And now once again Yoongi is being selfless, traveling far to see a boy he used to like, to care about, just to fulfill his last wish. Jimin could never be mad for that.

Almost every night Jimin cried himself to sleep, but after now 4 weeks passed, there are no tears left anymore.

As he counted every day since his lover left him, the messages got less the calls stopped. At one point Jimin didn't get into contact with him at all. No replies to his messages, no phone calls.

He was desperate, scared, hopeless and then he just stopped, stopped crying, stopped being sad, stopped waiting for his return. He just lives with the fact, that his lover may or may not come back to him.

With that he tired to focus on his internship, having fun with the work he is doing, he always wanted to do. Distracting himself helped at some point, he spent a lot of time with Taehyung, helping him with some exams and started dancing and singing even more than before.

Yoongi being his love, his joy, his happiness and his everything, doesn't mean Jimin should be unhappy without him. The blonde male has to learn to be the first cause of his own happiness, before someone else is. With so much days passing, he had a lot of time to think about this. And maybe Jimin needed that time for himself, to learn to love himself the most before loving someone else, being his own happiness, before calling anyone the cause of his joy. This self love will make him stronger and no matter what will happen or not happen, he can be proud about his progress. Even though he has a lot to learn and a long road to go, but for now he is dealing with his self love.

And still he misses Yoongi so much, it's ripping him apart. He misses his laugh and sleepy voice, his bad pancakes and stupid jokes, he misses his touches and kisses and even the failed attempts to sing Jimin to sleep. He misses shopping with him, buying new stuff for their apartment, he misses visiting him at work to bring him lunch and to listen to some new samples Yoongi always proudly showed him. He misses dancing in front of his lover, showing him new moves he has learned and singing for him, while cooking Yoongis favorite food. He misses the long movies nights and cuddles, the soft kisses and the "I love you" he always softly whispered into Jimin's ear. He misses falling asleep with Yoongi and waking up next to him. Hell he misses all of that.

But he has to be patient, to see what the future will bring. Jimin knows that some day Yoongi will come back to him, maybe as a different person, with different emotions and feelings. He just hopes that day will come soon.

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A/N: just one chapter and epilog left! published and finished a new yoonmin novella "Snowman" (12 chapters) feel free to check it out and show some love! thank you 🖤