BLEACHED

125: Why are you waiting.

Lavender can tell she's finding it harder than she seems to be.

"Why are you apologizing? For seeing me this way?" Penelope asks as she pours her third glass since Lavender walked in.

"I'm apologizing for disrupting your life." Lavender says as she glances down at the  wine that she chugs back up and pours another before getting up and walking back to the fridge.

Lavender watches as she searches the fridge, shoving countless things aside in search of something.

It can't be more wine, the bottle she's drinking is nearly half done, so she still has a long way to before it ends.

She finally leans from the bottom drawer, the freezer, with a large tub of icecream before shutting the door and walking to a cupboard, pulling out a spoon and walking back to sit where she was sitting.

"I'm glad you are aware you're causing me problems." Penelope says as she opens the icecream and reaches into the bottom drawer, pulling out a bowl and serving herself one as Lavender watches in lust for it. "Leave."

"My message isn't getting through, so I can't leave." Lavender says as she pulls the sit. Penelope sighs as she watches Lavender struggle to get onto the seat, constantly adjusting the distance between her stomach and the edge of the counter. "I'm really sorry."

"You don't know anything. You've never lived a troubled life, so I have no reason to listen to you." Penelope says as she takes a few spoons of the icecream into her mouth before grabbing her glass of wine. "Leave before I'm angry."

"Not that I've told a lot about this. But my parents had simply left me in a foreign country and vanished. I don't know if they are alive or not, but they made it clear they don't want me." Lavender explains as she laces her fingers together. "I've been unwanted for a really long time, I had to crawl my way out of the hole they dug for me. I was their only daughter... Maybe, I don't know. But I've felt alone for a long time, until I met Evette. She felt like home. Like I'd never known anything until she showed up. She just couldn't leave my side even if I tried to get rid of her countless times."

Lavender chuckles on her own as Penelope continues to drink and eat her icecream, making Lavender unsure if she is even listening at all.

"With Evette, I felt whole." Lavender points out as she glances at the sink behind Penelope. "Then when I met Domen, I thought he was the most self-centered jerk that I hated him, until I didn't. I felt wrong to want to know him, even though he belonged to Evette, but he started looking my way and I couldn't stop. So, I gave in."

"That's shameful of you." Penelope comments as she glances at Lavender who smiles slightly.

Glad she's listening.

"I know. I still regret it till now." Lavender nods her head slightly and looks down to her fingers. "I wanted to stop, but the more I tried the more I fell for him. Then he said I was easy to manipulate and I got so angry I slapped him. We closed that chapter, of us and I tried seeing someone else. A few weeks later I find out I'm pregnant with someone I thought I started to hate. I panicked but the man I was with at the time said he'd take care of it. I got threatened by Domen's mother... To get rid of it, I thought of it but I refused in the end. I was so scared of her that I slept in the car... To get away from her. It was not my intention to let Domen know... He just found out on his own."

Penelope drops her gaze to her wine as she pours more into it.

"I felt insecure with him because he didn't treat me right and made me feel afraid. It was the first time I'd felt so much for a person who I thought didn't like me." Lavender chuckles and runs a hand through her hair as she redirects her eyes to the icecream. "I didn't think he'd stop the wedding, but he stole me and ran off... I still didn't believe him up until he told the entire world about me, and he admitted to have liked me when we first met... Made me love him even more to the point I didn't want to hear anything from anyone. But then I saw it in your eyes, the resentment... But now I understand how you feel. You may do things very oddly but... You love Desmond and him going against you is making you drink yourself away at two in the morning instead of running."

Penelope chuckles for the first time, getting Lavender to raise her brows surprised when she expected a snarky comment from her.

"What made you think that?" Penelope asks as she glances at her. "What makes you think I have nothing planned to go against him?"

"I just know you're waiting to see what he's got planned." Lavender nods her head and tilts her head slightly. "I know you're only willing to take punishment only from Desmond. I know that because you haven't done anything to Felix or me since we got here. You have us at arm's reach, yet you haven't even tried to force me or Felix into submission. From what I've heard of you, you don't take your time to deal with obstacles, yet the ones ruining things are here and you haven't done a thing, you clearly aren't afraid of the people around here knowing. You can always get away with it, yet you're waiting."