PSYCHE-KSJ•JHS✔️

|63|

|JANIA|
22 weeks, 4 days

My head hurts, my back hurts, my heart hurts. I just want to sleep again. Forever, at this point. I'm exhausted.

"Mornin', Momma bear. How you feelin today?" Jeffrey asks as I walk into the back.

I trudge in and hang my coat up before slipping my Uggs off. I take my crocs out of my bag and slide those on before grabbing my water bottle.

"Tired." I mumble as I sip through the straw.

I spent the better part of the night crying to Hoseok about everything. He apologized for not telling me about Leah; he genuinely thought he was protecting me from stress. He knew there was high chance that her kids weren't his but he couldn't be 100% sure. So he didn't want to run the risk of telling me and then they turn out to be his.

He admits that he fucked up. He knows of the roll that he played in all of the bullshit and he's remorseful. We agreed to just... focus on our baby. She's the main priority, the top one.

In order to keep her in great condition and avoid anymore scares, I have to be stress free. I have to eat good. I have to feel good mentally emotionally and physically. I have to keep myself up in high spirits and away from negativity.

And in order to do that, I need to minimize my contact with Seokjin. I'm cutting it off entirely. But I needed some answers first.

I texted him this morning and he said that Paris called him two nights ago cursing and yelling. But she was also crying so he couldn't really understand what she was saying at first.

When she calmed down a little, she told him that she was never going to let him see London again. She called him all sorts of names and told him that he was disgusting for dealing with me while I was pregnant.

Which the both of us found weird that she worded it that way. To my mother she made it seem like she thought I was pregnant by him. But she, herself, knows that I'm not. She doubts that I am. So why portray me that way?

She just doesn't want him around me. She also doesn't want me around London. Seokjin said that she saw us together in the grocery store and that's what started all of this.

At the end of our conversation this morning, I told him that I wasn't going to talk to him anymore. Paris really will keep London away from him for as long as he's around me. It's a fucked up thing to do and even Hoseok agreed with that.

He stayed at my house last night and slept on the couch. I was on the phone with Jin as I was walking into the kitchen to make breakfast for myself. Hoseok already had the food ready. We sat and ate together while I spoke with Jin on the phone.

The fact that Paris was going to keep London from Jin ticked Hoseok off. He was shaking his head as he cleared his plate and left to go to his own home. We agreed to see each other again on Tuesday.

I have ultrasound appointments every two weeks now because I'm considered high risk. I take my prenatal and progesterone everyday, as well as an iron pill. It was discovered from my blood tests that I'm anemic.

So Hoseok and I will meet on Tuesday for the ultrasound appointment and then meet with the photographer afterwards. Until then, I'll be working, eating and trying my best to sleep.

"You know what'll help?" Jeffrey suggests. "Some nice scented candles. Some epsom salt and a warm bath, knock you right out."

I give him a small smile. "I'll have to go out and buy some epsom salt then. I have candles already."

I look at the time and go to the register to clock in. As I'm walking over, Tae is walking into the building. He smiles at me as I clock in.

"Good morning!"