PSYCHE-KSJ•JHS✔️

|22|

|JANIA|

I walk into my parent's house after work and kick my shoes off. I sit down on the couch as my dad walks into the living room.

"Well, hello to you too, Miss Grown Woman."

"Hi, dad."

He sits in his recliner with his Pepsi can in hand.

"You just getting off work?"

"Yeah. Them customers was wearing me out today. And two people called in so they had me all over the place. I don't think they pay me enough for all that."

He laughs as he turns on his black and white cartoons. "You just don't like doing all that walking, that's all that is."

"You right. I like being in one section. It's easier that way. Working two sections on two different sides of the restaurant? That's too much."

"You making it work though. I'm proud of you.

"Thank you. Being an adult is hard."

"And you wanted to be grown so bad, now you complaining." My mother walks into the room holding London. "How was your lil trip?"

"Good. We went to the Harry Potter exhibition. Namjoon and Yuki planned my birthday lunch. They sang happy birthday to me. It was so nice."

"Your boyfriend didn't do nothing else for you?"

"He did. He planned the dinner service. We went to a different place and they sang happy birthday too. I got a nice piece of cheesecake. Oh, he bought me this necklace too. It goes with the rings."

I show my mom the necklace and she studies it. "He spending a whole lot of money on you. You ain't letting him turn you out, are you?"

"What? No." How did the conversation just move to that conclusion? Where did that come from?

"I'm just making sure you're safe. A lot of women don't know they're being tricked out because they think they're dating the men. He buys them real nice things in turn for some cat. I'm not saying you're selling it but if that's all you giving to him, then you might as well be."

"Why you got to say stuff like that to her?" My father addresses his wife. "Why can't just let her be happy with the man? If she's good, then let her be."

"All I'm saying is that Jin and Paris are together and you don't see her flaunting her jewelry and what he buys her. They live together, they have a very established relationship. He's over all the time. We just met this man she's been talking to for almost a year now. You don't find that suspicious? Next thing you know she gonna be knocked up and we ain't gonna see her no more. We barely see her now. He taking her away from us. These are signs!" 

My mother and father are arguing and raising their voices at one another. My mother's words create thoughts that I wouldn't have had if I didn't come over today.

I know that Hoseok isn't pimping me out but now that she's said it, I guess I can see why she would think that. The sex, the trips, the jewelry, the gifts. I've given him gifts and things as well but the sex outweighs the number of tangible things he's received from me.

We're not together. That's no fault of his or mine. It's a mutual decision. We don't need to be in relationships right now. We're fine as friends with benefits. That works for us. We can have sex with other people. Although the amount of times that he's done it is higher than mine. Six to two.

I don't really care to know with who unless he sends me their pictures for social media scrounging. Then I know because of that. I don't care what he does with them because we aren't together. It isn't my business. Just like what I do with other men isn't his.