PSYCHE-KSJ•JHS✔️

|20|

|THIRD|

Jania answers the door to find Seokjin standing there with wet hair and a takeout cup in his hand. He hands it to her as he walks inside.

"What is this?"

"Chocolate shake. Namjoon complained to me over the phone that they made up a third of your diet in New York City. He's worried you'll get gestational diabetes."

"He needs to stop telling you my business." She closes the door as she sips the shake.

"I assume that it's a craving?" He ignores her statement. He's going to keep asking about her and he doesn't care what she says about it. Her eyes meet his and the gaze is held there until he looks away. "Or maybe it's too early for you to have those."

"I wouldn't know. I've never been pregnant before. You have more experience in the baby department than I do."

"She was four months when I found out. I didn't pay much attention to her then. I didn't really want to be around her."

"Why are you telling me this? I didn't ask." She walks to the kitchen and takes out her Ritz crackers from the cabinet.

"Conversational purposes. Sorry." He stands on the other side of the counter.

"What do you want, Jin? I have been perfectly fine without your presence."

He hesitates to answer, nervousness kicking in before determination does.

"I miss you, Jania. And I don't mean just the sex. I mean the talks, the outings, the fun. I know this isn't fair for me to do but I can't watch this anymore."

"Watch what? Me move on with my life? You did it. Why can't I?" She questions with a scowl on her face.

"All I did was have a baby. I can't emotionally attach myself to her. I don't love her that way."

"Because of me? How is it my fault that you can move on with your dick and not your brain? Have you tried therapy? That's always a good option."

"It's not, Jania. And you and I both know it. I fucked up and I can admit that. But you're not making this easy for me to fix."

Jania becomes instantly frustrated. "Why should I? I shouldn't allow you to fix it at all. You got my sister pregnant and then looked me in my face and lied to me. Do you know how fucked that is?"

"I never once lied to you. Everything that I have ever said to you, I meant it."

"You don't do that to people you love, Seokjin."

"And what are you doing?" He gestures to her stomach and she looks at him like he's crazy.

"You think I planned this?! Do I look like I want a child right now?"

"Then don't have it. Why are you having a baby that neither of you want? Why are you staying with him?"

Jania stands there with her mouth slightly agape. She can't believe him. The nerve. The audacity of this man. To tell her to get rid of a baby to appease his emotional state.

"I can't. I'm past the mark. And even if I wasn't, it's none of your business. How much of an asshole can you be to tell me to get rid of a child to make it easier for you? Did I ask you to be a deadbeat to London to be with me? No, I didn't. I let you do you." Her eyes water and she swallows thickly. "You told me that you loved me multiple times in the span of months and I find out after several months of us having sex, that you got her pregnant. How dare you stand here and act like you did something forgivable."