SHE | alex karev

chapter thirty eight

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CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
my favorite mistake.
season three, episodes nineteen.

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NINE YEARS EARLIER

Billie slowly made her way into the house, tip-toeing on the balls of her feet so that no sound could be heard. She held her bag on her shoulder and her hand over her mouth, because she knew even the sound of her breathing was enough to disturb the soundless atmosphere that laid upon the house.

She made her way past the kitchen, in which the usual cocktail of used and reused shot glasses with traces of alcohol near the rim, empty and broken tequila bottles, cigarette butts and filled ashtrays, prescription bottles and crashed pills still remained, littering every aspect of the small space. Billie scrunched up her nose at the heavy odor in the air, that of nicotine and drunkenness.

The lights were off, but she knew the house was occupied nonetheless, so she took a deep breath and held it when she walked into the living room. The couch in front of the television was the place where her dad usually crashed at, unable to ever use his own bedroom anymore because of the many broken memories it entailed.

But as she took a sprint towards the stairs, Billie was terrified to notice that her dad wasn't asleep in the couch, as she had expected. In fact, he stumbled down the stairs, heading straight towards her. She immediately took a step back out of reflex, out of fear.

"Where the hell were you?" he slurred, his jaw stiff.

A flash of panic struck Billie and her voice trembled on its way out. "I had to cover the night shift today."

"Don't you fucking lie to me," he raised his voice. "Where were you?"

"I'm- I'm not lying, I swear." She gulped audibly, feeling her eyes starting to burn on the holdback of tears.

Her dad, however, would never believe her truths. He would never see the fear behind her eyes whenever he walked towards her, because the alcohol in his system would always cloud his senses. He would never care when she flinched, he would never care when his fist was suddenly lodged deep into her stomach. He would never care about how much that broke her, ever single time.

He searched the floor with his eyes until he finally found what he was looking for. He picked up the half-empty tequila bottle from the floor and took a long swig before tossing it back down on the floor. Billie's body stiffened at the loud sound that suddenly echoed all over the enclosed space.

"I don't believe you," he slurred.

"Dad," she begged. "Dad, c'mon. I promise. I was- I was covering the night shift because Becca had a- a doctor's appointment and she could- couldn't come to work. Please, dad."