pricked » yoonmin [FF]

s i x t y - e i g h t

But Yoongi learned to be thankful to many things in his life, things that may seemed hurtful and unfair in the beginning, but that made him to who he is right now, to who he had become. He is thankful for all of that, all experiences, the bad and good ones, the hurtful and wonderful ones, the hard and demanding ones.

One of this experience was his relationship to Donghyuk, it made him realize that even if you want something badly, life does sometimes have different plans for you and if it isn't meant to be, it doesn't have to, it should be accepted sometimes. He also learned that sometimes holding onto something just because you want it, isn't always the right way, sometimes in order to get better, to heal, you have to let go. That's what Donghyuk did when he left the older one behind. To heal, to get better.

But here they are, the younger calling him after almost two years to tell him, that his time has come, that he doesn't have much time left, that he didn't manage to win this long, painful fight. Yoongi never thought that he will hear of the younger ever again, but not because of him not winning this fight, but because he thought he will make it for sure and live a good happy life. Thats why he didn't expect a call, a message or anything. But now the time has come, he got a call, but not the one he wanted.

Donghyuk may really be selfish for calling Yoongi, but in the end, dying without saying goodbye to a person he once used to love, didn't feel right. The thought of dying without a goodbye didn't sound peaceful.

"How long?" Yoongi finally manages to break the silence, his first word spoken since he picked up the phone. "W-what?"

"How much time do you have left?" Yoongi says, his mind blank at the moment, his heart stopped beating fast, it's emptiness what he feels right now, saying these words out loud.

"A month- or two." The younger responds.

It was silent for a moment, Yoongi is trying to process what Donghyuk said to him a few seconds ago. A month or two. It way less than Yoongi thought. It's not enough time, time to live, to do what you want to do. It's just not enough time.

What was he doing the last two years? Has he seen places he wanted to visit, has he eaten food he never has eaten before and saw things he wanted to see, things he wished to do in the future, that he couldn't do early. Has he done these things? Or did he just spend every day at the hospital, hoping for something to save him from this, something to reduce the pain and suffer?

"Hyung I- I understand I should've called you, but I thought you should somehow know.." Donghyuk says after it remained silent for too long, "I just wanted to say goodbye." His voice sounds fragile, broken, shaky, sick.

"Where are you right now?" Yoongi asks, making the younger male frown. "What do you mean where-"

"Where are you, city, hospital?" Yoongi repeats, demanding, his mind finally starting to realize what's happening at the moment. But what should he feel? Should he just look away? Say his goodbye on the phone and then hang up, pretend like nothing had happened?

He just can't ignore the fact that the person he used to like, that meant a lot to him, is about to die sooner or later? Of course he has his own life now, his friends and his boyfriend, the person he loves the most, around him, a wonderful home and nice job, but how can he continue living like that when he knows he didn't say a proper goodbye to someone that liked him and cared for him a while ago.

"Why- why do you want to know?" Donghyuk responds, being confused by the question.

"Just tell me." Yoongi demands, standing up nervously, not knowing what to do with his body right now.

"I'm in A-atlanta, at the Cancer Treatment Centers." The younger responds quietly.

Suddenly the front door of the apartment was opened, making Yoongi stop in his movement.

"Hyung I'm home", the sweetest voice he knows shouts from the entrance, "I could leave earlier today!"

"I have to hang up, we will stay in contact." Yoongi quickly says, as his boyfriend enters the living room.

Jimin drops his bag slowly to the floor, looking at Yoongi with a confused expression, a small frown appearing on his pretty face. "Everything okay?" Jimin asks, slowly approaching the older male. Yoongi looks paler than usually, his face cold and without expression, his hand tightly wrapped around his phone. His heart in his chest seems to beat fast, he looks almost scared. Worry immediately starts building up in Jimin.

"Hyung..?" he says quietly, carefully placing his hand on Yoongi's arm, "what's wrong?"

Jimin softly pushed him to the couch, so they could sit down and talk.

"Do you- do you remember Donghyuk?" the older says. "Y-yeah, the boy you dated.. what's with him?" Jimin responds, swallowing afterwards, his heart slowly starting to beat faster, a strange feeling building up in his stomach.

"I told you he had c-cancer back then, and- and it's-" The older is confused, not quite sure what to say and how to say it, his eyes afraid of meeting Jimin's, his vision slowly getting blurry, "he has not much time to live- a month or two." He sounds confused, lost, trying to sort his thoughts.

"H-hyung-" Jimin whispers, the frown on his face now bigger, his heart beating faster, the grip on Yoongi's arm loosening.

Suddenly the older stands up burying his face in his hands. Jimin just sits there, confused and somehow, scared. He doesn't know how to react to his boyfriend telling him, that the person he once used to like, is about to die soon. How do you even react to that kind of message?

The younger also stands up and places his hand on Yoongi's shoulder to comfort him, but he flinched at the sudden touch and let go of his own face, before looking at Jimin. His eyes are red and teary.

"Jiminie, I- have to go.", he suddenly says, his voice just a small whisper in the big living room. Darkness has taken its place in their apartment, just a small light from the hallway is giving the place some brightness. Other than that it's dark.

"I h-have to go.. to him." And with that Jimin could feel his heart breaking into pieces. He is speechless he doesn't want to be selfish, still he doesn't want Yoongi to leave. But it's not his decision to make.

"I won't stay for long, I p-promise.", the older then says, grabbing both of Jimin's arms, looking him straight into his, now empty eyes. Yoongi can't read his expression, he doesn't know what's going on in Jimin's mind, but he can see tears forming.

"I just have to say g-goodbye.", he adds but Jimin isn't responding. He simply can't. One and then two tears are running down his cheek, but his face is emotionless.

"Please s-say something Jiminie.", Yoongi begs, the grip on Jimin's arms tightening up.

"Please don't-" He wanted to say don't leave me, don't leave me alone, don't destroy our perfect picture, please don't leave me behind. But he couldn't say it out loud. "..don't stay for too long."

The older shakes his head while wiping away the tears on Jimin's soft cheek, "I won't, I promise." A promise he may won't be able to keep.

While Yoongi was packing his stuff, Jimin just sat in the living room, waiting for his lover to leave him. He hasn't said anything to him anymore, he is just sitting there, sad, disappointed, scared, but his face is without emotion. Just tears falling down his cheeks again.

In their bedroom Yoongi packs some clothes and reaches between some of his shirts before picking up a small black box. He opens it, looking at the pretty ring, he brought for his lover a while ago, waiting for the perfect moment that just didn't seem to be coming any time soon. He then places the small box into his bag, knowing that when he comes back, the first thing he will do, is to propose to his lover.

"I'm leaving Jiminie.", the older says, as he left their bedroom, now standing in front of Jimin.

"O-okay.", Jimin responds, not looking up. He then stands up to walk with him to the door.

"I will be back soon, my love.", Yoongi says once again, "I- I just have to leave, I'm sorry."

The younger nods, his heart broken, silent tears falling as Yoongi pulls him into a long soft kiss.

"Goodbye, Jiminie."