39. Not Superhero Business

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Spoilers for... IRON MAN 3

Malibu, California

The holiday season was finally here. In fact, it was less than a week until Christmas and I was so excited. The holiday season all the way up to New Year was the best time of year for me. Party after party, drink after drink, my idea of fun.

For years Tony and Rhodes used to go to different cities to celebrate Christmas and New Year and I couldn't go because I wasn't old enough. However, the year I turned 21, we celebrated in Malibu at Tony's mansion. The party was epic and I've never been so plastered in my life.

Since then we haven't partied at all due to Tony giving up the 'party lifestyle' after his 40th was ruined by the fight. It was understandable, but I still missed it. Tony just had his head in a completely different mindset now. He had Pepper to think about instead of random hookups-or me for that matter.

Since my old apartment in Lancaster was now being rented out by someone else, I booked a hotel to stay in for the next few days. I wasn't going to be here that long because I was needed back at S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters and I promised Lewis I'd be back at least by Christmas Day.

He had been attending counseling with Sam and the support group once every two weeks. It was helping a lot as now we didn't argue as much. I figured Lewis was displacing his anger on me and I was constantly in a bad mood because of it. Now that he had Sam to rant with he was much calmer when he was around me which I liked.

I truly felt bad for Sam though, as I often off-loaded my problems onto him too. I didn't want him to feel like he owed me anything and I didn't want the weight of my issues to drown him. He handles it well though and insists it's part of his job.

I also have Natasha to take some of the load off me. We train together and she lets me go full out because she knows I've been repressing some of my rages. I'm thankful for that though as I can finally loosen up.

One time, I went a little bit too far and held her in a chokehold a bit too long and a bit too tight. I got lost in my emotions and lost all awareness. Rumlow and a few other STRIKE agents had to pry me off Natasha's neck.

Once Rumlow snapped me out of my thoughts I apologized and Romanoff quickly forgave me. It was then I noticed that Rogers had also walked in, which made the situation more embarrassing. Doing that in front of a Captain was not a good look. Although I'm not in the military anymore, I still viewed other servicemen very highly and respected them as much as I would if I was on the field.

Steve didn't look disappointed or disturbed, more shocked and taken aback. I wasn't sure whether that was better than the former but still felt quite humiliated. Believe it or not, I called Sam straight away and told him about the situation.

He said that a lot of veterans are still in that fighting mindset even when they aren't serving anymore. Sam assured me that it was completely normal and it was something that would soon wear out, especially since I'm doing more training with S.H.I.E.L.D.

Recently, Rhodes had been renamed the Iron Patriot instead of War Machine, and his suit repainted red, white, and blue. He was in Washington DC with the President during this ceremony and traveled back to California with me.

We both met up with Tony at Neptune's Net, a small bar that the three of us often hung out at for a catch-up. It's been almost 7 months since the last time all three of us had been in the same room together, the last time being Shawarma Palace.

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