The Shumdario story

143. Square one

After David and Dom calmed down from the happiness, they left them to be alone "do you want to go home?" Matt asked and Harry nodded, he saw that Matt is still nervous and he wanted to help him feel more comfortable but he still felt weird himself, it was hard to touch and to call him in pet names, of course he was happy to be back together, but still, they just went through a horrible experience, it's totally ok to have some time to feel better with everything.
The whole way home they didn't talk, but in the middle of the drive Harry reached out and hold Matt's hand, even though it was so hard for him, they smiled to each other, and Harry immediately felt stronger and more confident.
When they arrived, Harry stood at the entrance and he felt that weird feeling "are you okay my love?" Matt asked, he kept on safe distance from Harry, he gave him space to feel ok with the whole touching stuff "I... it's just weird, I don't know..." Harry said and smiled nervously "I'm here for you if you need to talk..." Matt said and placed a light kiss on Harry's cheek and opened the door and entered inside, Harry smiled to himself, Matt is acting so understanding and loving, he got inside and sat on the couch, Matt came and sat next to him "I know it's weird between us..." Matt broke the silence, Harry looked at him "it's not weird... it's umm..." Harry stutter and Matt raised his eyebrow with a smirk "ok, it's weird" Harry said and chuckle, Matt smiled "can I try something?" Matt asked, he slide on the couch to get closer and coped Harry's face, Harry's heart beat like crazy when Matt leaned in and pressed their lips together, it was so gentle and loving, he missed those lips so bad, Matt licked his lips and Harry opened his mouth and let Matt's tongue come in, the kiss heated up when Harry wrapped his arms around Matt's neck, pulling him closer, he was so lost in the moment with the man that he loves, at that moment Matt grabbed his waist and raised him up and put him on his lap, not breaking the kiss, Harry wrapped his legs around Matt's body, wanting every part of them to touch, but when Matt started to get Harry's shirt up Harry panicked "wait..." Harry said and broke the kiss, he rest his head on Matt's "what's wrong?" Matt whispered breathless "I... I can't... not yet" Harry said, breathless as well "oh... ok" Matt said and smiled a sad smile "I'm sorry..." Harry said and got off him, they sat together on the couch in a complete silence, it was so heartbreaking, why can't he be with him? they had sex before, they live together, why does it so hard for him to be intimate with Matt? "can I ask you something?" Matt asked and Harry nodded "are... ummm... you're still attracted to me?" Matt asked and Harry frown "of course I do... I just don't know how to touch you without thinking about that asshole touching what's mine" Harry said and Matt chuckle from Harry's curse, it was the first time that Harry didn't say that Matt cheated, it was the first time he said that it's Niko's fault "I'm yours?" Matt said, he looked so sad, how can this happen to them? they were on the top of the world, but now, here they are in square one "of course, you're mine and I'm yours..." Harry said in a sweet voice, he tried to light things up between them, he hold Matt's hand and hold her close to his heart "I care about you, I wouldn't be here if you weren't important to me..." Harry said and Matt smiled, still that sad smile that Harry hated, but he knew this will be hard, because of his past this things are much harder for him to deal with, but he's trying, he's not giving up "I know it's hard... but I'm here, I'm trying..." Harry said and squeezed Matt's hand "I know... I just can't wait for you to be comfortable with me again..." Matt said "I hope you won't give up on me..." Harry said, he felt that fear that maybe it's too big for Matt to handle "never... I'm here, it's just hard for me, but I understand it" Matt said and Harry smiled, he leaned in and placed a kiss on Matt's cheek "thank you..." Matt smiled and squeezed Harry's hand "do you want to go to sleep? you must be exhausted" Harry said and Matt nodded, Harry got up but Matt was still sitting on the couch "aren't you coming?" Harry asked, Matt looked up at him with a surprised look "you... you want me to sleep with you?" Matt asked, Harry reached out and hold his hand, pulling him up and walking to the bedroom with Matt in his hand "of course... I can't sleep without you" Harry said in a sweet voice, they both lay on the bed together, face to face, Matt stroke Harry's face with his fingers, very gentle and loving, they looked into each other's eyes and they could see the love between them, they just needs to find the way back to each other, non of them is going to give up.