Control ~Levi x Reader~ {Modern AU}

52

Y/N POV

The next few days have been tense between me and Levi. 

We haven't really spoken much other than to see how work went, what happened during the day, and to let the other know that dinner was going to be done soon. 

There really wasn't much said between us. 

We wouldn't even cuddle at night or speak to one another like we usually do. 

The first day I still faced towards him because it was out of habit, but he really only just turned his back to me and would shut down any conversation I would try and have with him, telling me that it was time to go to bed. 

I've really missed all the interactions that occurred between Levi and I. 

But its ok I guess. 

This isn't ideal, but what can I really do at the moment. 

I still plan on seeing Jean, I'm not going to be stopped for that. 

I can get rid of the dress, but there is no way in hell that I am going to be getting rid of my picture. 

Hange is coming over today and we are going to be here for a little since I'll be preparing lunch for us and then we'll be going out for a while. 

She said that it is good I get out of this place every now and then with someone else rather than Levi. 

I was doing some cleaning when there was a knock on the front door. 

I opened it and Hanji was there with a big smile. 

"Y/N sweetheart! How are you? I feel like I haven't seen you in so long when it has only been what? A week and a half or 2 weeks?" She said as she engulfed me into a hug. 

I chuckled. 

"Something like that Hange. Please come in. I finished lunch not too long ago, I was just cleaning up." I said to her and moved out of the way so she can enter. 

"I see the place still looks the same. You guys really have done a nice job with it!" She said looking around. 

We walked over to the island and she sat and I started serving her some food. 

"So I hear things are rough right now between you and Mr Grumpy Pants. What is that about? He hasn't told me anything but I know he is kind of taking it out on some of his employees when they mess up and go to him for something." Hanji asked as she put some food in her mouth. 

"Well, a lot happen a few days ago between us. A few days ago I came home upset and I didn't share why I was upset with Levi... I wasn't upset with him or anything... I don't know if you thought that from what I said. But we were kind of distant for two days and we still are now. But that's because I shared with him why I was upset and what caused me to get that way. I don't know if you know this, but back when I was in high school, I almost ran away with a guy. That didn't happen though cause I'm obviously still here. Regardless, that guy, his name is Jean, and I saw him at the park the day that I began to get upset and he was the reason why I was upset. And then I met him at the park 2 days later and we talked and it was nice. I ended up telling Levi about it and he just wasn't up for it. He said that I shouldn't be meeting him... no no he said that I can't see him anymore that I am a married woman. And then he said I should get rid of the picture I have of Jean along with the dress that I wore at homecoming that I had also attended with Jean. I just don't know what to end up doing." I said beginning to get frustrated. 

"It's as if he doesn't trust me. I expressed to Jean that I was married, yeah he was saying things like it was a marriage that I didn't want to be in, but still, I don't think Jean would cross that line knowing I was married." I said looking down at my plate of food. 

"Y/N I don't think it has anything to do with trust issues on Levi's part. He probably just wants the best for you and has that feeling that you wont get it from Jean. Regardless of if he is your ex or not, he probably doesn't want you around Jean for his own personal reasons. I truly don't know what that can possibly end up being honestly. But I'll be honest with you Y/N... I really don't think you should be hanging around the guy as much as you would like... I'm not saying that you shouldn't see him at all, Maybe once every two weeks and see how Levi feels about that. Just know that he will probably say no to that because he had to give up his past lover. And that was a tough time for him... it was a really really tough time. So he probably won't see it as fair on his end. That he had to give up someone while you get to still have them around." Hange said with a serious light tone. 

I didn't think of it like that. 

I just assumed Levi didn't want me to see Jean because I have him now. 

But it can be seen as a jealousy aspect, not that he is jealous directly at me for talking to another guy... but because I am able to talk to my past lover while he just has to carry on with life in this forced marriage.

"I never thought of it that way." I said looking at Hange. 

"I'll say this though, next time when he says for you to get rid of those things that remind you of Jean... just bring up the bowl. I won't go into detail about it, just know that there is meaning behind it." Hange said while putting a fork full of food in her mouth. 

The bowl? 

Which one? 

The one Hange pointed out last time when she asked if it was me or Levi who set it out? 

What does the bowl have to do with this? 

Wait. 

WAIT! 

"So you're telling me that while he was telling me all this time to get rid of my things that remind me of Jean... He had a whole stupid bowl displayed IN OUR LIVING ROOM  for everyone to see? How is that any fair?" I was getting heated. 

"Y/N calm down please its-" Hange began bur I cut her off.

"I want to know about her. Levi obviously won't tell me so you're going to have to." I said not really feeling myself. 

"Y/N you know I can't do that. It's not my place to do so. He'll tell you when he's ready to tell you about it. I won't go around explaining his business like that. Even if you are his wife. Just know that he isn't a very open person to begin with. I don't know when he will tell you but just know that it can possibly be tonight, in 5 months, 5 years who knows. I just can't tell you about it." Hange said with a somber face. 

I began to feel upset. 

Not upset that there was someone before. 

I mean I had someone before as well. 

I'm upset that he isn't open with me like I am to him. 

I understand that we both have different comfort levels but it's just, I would have hoped he could at least tell me something. 

Something beyond our usual talk. 

And to think we were getting closer last week. 

And that we shared a kiss. 

Twice. 

A good night kiss from me and a good night kiss from him. 

I'm not saying that my plan is to leave Levi for Jean, I'm already a married woman and I'm staying loyal, just as I expect Levi to do as well. 

Maybe I need to talk to him and vocalize that I don't plan on leaving him if that's one of his insecurities. 

But what if it's not. 

"I'll drop it then... I just wish he was a little more open with me is all." I said to Hange. 

"And he can end up getting there, this is all just new for the both of you." Hange said and then she smiled. 

"Why don't we get out of here? We can find something fun to do today." I nodded at Hange and we put out plates in the sink and we left. 

I can wash them once we get back. 

I can use some fun right now.