"Please stay." My voice croaks out as more tears pool out. I've never cried. I still close my eyes and wait for her next reaction. I feel her body stiffening beside me.
"Bally you're dreaming yes? Can you hear me?" She runs her fingers on my cheeks.
"Don't leave me please?" I snap my eyes open this time and she gapes at me.
"You heard me?" She asks outrageously and I shake my head. She lets out a sigh and smiles weakly at me. "Then why are you telling me to stay?"
"I heard you saying bye." I reply wiping my tears.
" Just bye?" She raises a brow.
"Yes, are you going to leave, what's the time?"
" Five minutes past six." She says looking at the clock on the wall. There is little light being illuminated from the curtains. "Why are you crying?"
"You made me, why are you?" I question back.
"I'm not." She retorts looking away.
"Okay are you leaving me still?"
"Yes, I'm going to check on something, I had plans." She says still not maintaining eye contact.
" You're a good liar, aren't you?
" I'm not."
She is not even good at lying. She's still looking away. "Then look at me."
"Bally am leaving." She moves away from me and I pull her back tugging at my t-shirt, the one she's wearing. It moves up exposing her white panties. She turns around gasping and now I see how her breasts are showing through the material. My mouth hangs open and we stare at each other lost. In her eyes, a thousand emotions are swirling in them. She starts hyperventilating and I immediately drop my hand.
"I'm sorry." I whisper looking away from her.
"It's okay, bye." She crawls to the edge and before she drops her first leg, I cut the awkward tension between us by speaking what makes her almost faint or rather pee in her pants.
"Will you stay if I assure you that I heard everything you said?"
She turns around, her mouth gaping ghastly. "You didn't, you were sleeping." She states firmly after finding her tongue. She is trying to sound courageous. More to convince herself.
"Oh trust me, I heard Kellane. And if you don't know, you're being selfish to yourself. You're not a coward." I whisper assuredly.
"Bally you heard me?" She asks again finding it hard to believe.
"I did kellane." I smile at her but she turns away and gives me her back. I see her body shaking profusely. I scoot to the edge and I kneel wrapping my hands around her waist. "Please don't cry, it hurts me to see your tears."
" You were not supposed to hear that!" She bawls out, her voice laced with hoarseness.
"I'm sorry I heard. Everything. And my love for you grew a peak higher." I say leaning my chin on her head. "We don't choose who we fall in love with because if we were choosing, we would have been in another level now with different kinds of people. I never chose to fall in love with you kellane, I found myself in love and there is no way I'm going to find another girl who will make me happy. You're my happy pill Kellane. It doesn't matter what you offer me, I'll be happy even seeing you breathing." She chuckles softly then she hiccups. " Stop pushing me away, I'll wait for you. You're not being selfish too, you should know that. Tell me when you'll be ready. I'm going to wait for you, I promise. Even if takes forever."
" Bally..." She turns around completely. I move back giving her space. "Forever is overrated. Live today because you don't know what the future holds." Tears are still pooling out of her eyes. "Live the moment."
" I know what my future holds." I smile wiping off her tears with my thumbs. "It's you."
"You can't be so sure of that, but at least try living the moment?" She asks much more like stating.
" With you?" I can see the hesitation in her eyes. She tears her eyes away from mine and more tears stream down her cheeks. "Please don't cry fighting your own feelings. Own up to them."
"I like you Bally, so so much..." She trails looking up at me and smiles weakly. " Till it hurts."
"I love you." I state it simply as if my mouth is used to saying those three words. But I know from my heart, I mean everything.
"That's so intense." She smiles at me and then she continues. "Anyway it's okay, I'm glad you're sure. I don't know what to do, it's clear I don't want this, I wasn't going to admit if you didn't hear me blabbing. What a shame. Waking up at dawn to diarrhoea words from my mouth."
"Don't." I kind of plead and warn. "Please don't be ashamed. You were in denial, you've just set yourself free. You were killing yourself inside. You should be straightforward. I never hesitated telling you that I love you once I was sure." She nods simpering at the same time.
" But what are we going to do now? This is new to me. And some part of me feels like I'm not ready for a relationship." Her eyes waters again.
" We're not going to do anything. We'll let our emotions lead the way. No restrictions. Be free and as I told you I'll wait for you."
" How will I not like you? You say beautiful things to me, in the right way but at the wrong time. I just feel like you should carry my baby you know." She smirks leaning closer to me. She folds up the t-shirt I'm wearing and wipes her face on it. So crazy yet hot. She then leans back on a pillow looking so composed like she has done nothing silly mere seconds ago.
"There, that's the girl I've been waiting to see. It didn't take you long to start humouring me. You know what, I want to carry your baby so bad." We burst out laughing and she swats my hand away from hers. " You wiped your mucus on my shirt. You should wash it now."
"Oh just that?" she tugs at her t-shirt like she wants to pull it over her head. "Remove it and hand it over to me." My eyes bulges out in surprise and she throws her head back laughing. "Meanwhile you can wear this."
I'm glad we're the only ones on the second floor. Otherwise we could have woken up people from their beauty sleep.
"You should look at yourself!" She slaps me lightly on my cheek and I playfully flip us around wrapping my arms around her.
By accident I find myself on top of her between her legs. The t-shirt she's wearing is raised up a bit and I feel her warm bare thighs grazing the skin on my waist. Silence takes over as we stare at each other not breaking our eye contact, just letting our emotions speak for us. My eyes move to her pink lips which looks so soft and tempting. Her tongue slips out and she runs it over her lower lip biting it afterwards, she then pulls it into her mouth and she releases it shortly.
God, does she know what she's doing to me? I swallow loudly my breath hitching at the back of my throat. I incline towards her face slowly. Our eyes meet again when my nose is almost touching hers. With the look in her eyes it's like she wants what I want too. I press my forehead against hers and our noses touch each other. I nudge my nose against hers trying to catch up with my breath. Her breath is also laboured. I still our foreheads and noses against each other until our breaths becomes even.
...
Tbc