Today I was getting married to Dean Winchester. Dean and I were meant to be married since probably birth. Our marriage was planned from our parents from a really young age. We were best friends when we were kids but after Mary's death when Dean was 12, John took the boys and left the community. I never saw him or Sam again. Since then I've heard all these terrible stories of all those disaster that the Winchesters had caused and I was terrified. In our community everyone is a hunter but not like that. Most of the time, they focus on their research. My job as a woman is to take care of my husband especially after every hunt. And those last days my father was pretty upset with me, so he called Dean to come and claim me. His actual words were "I'd rather give you to him than have you here one more day" and he did.
"Now I pronounce you husband and wife. You mah kiss the bride" the pastor says. Dean leans to me and pecks my lips quickly and softly. Then we went to the back with the pastor and the witnesses to sign the papers. This is what I'm supposed to do right? Get married and then honour my husband. But what if he doesn't like me? Many of my friends said to me that their husbands don't like them and that marriage is a really hard thing.
My turn came to sign. I take the pen in my hand and I try to keep my hand steady. But I couldn't. So I signed with a quick move and I let the pen down. "Congratulations" the pastor says and shakes Dean's hand. Then he shakes my hand and leans to my ear "Don't forget what you were taught. You belong to him now. Your body belongs to him" he whispers. "Yes" I say trying to block the tears that were threating to fall.
Dean takes my hand and leads me to his car. "Your parents have already put your things in the back and I'm ready to go if you are too" he says. "Of course" I say and I get in the car. Dean gets in the car too and starts to drive away. "We are headed to the bunker now, Sam is already there waiting for us but if you don't want company we can go to a motel" he suggests "No, I'm fine with it" I say and he nods looking back at the road "We have a few hours on the road because Kansas is not next door. If you feel tired, don't hesitate to close your eyes and take some rest" he says and I nod. I haven't ever gotten out of state, I actually never left the city.
But on the community, despite all the hunting fails they had, it was also known that Dean Winchester isn't really a guy of commitment. And of course I wouldn't be able to give him the thing he wants so maybe he would stay with me. I could already feel his rejection. There is no way that this marriage will last or that it will be a successful one. But I had to take it. This is my life now.
"Dean?" I whisper hesitating "Tell me" he says "If and I say if this doesn't work out, what are you going to do?" I ask but I speak again before he could answer "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked" I say "No, you should ask. And if this doesn't work out, we'll see. But I want to be optimistic" he says and smiles at me. God, this smile is breathtaking.
"Are you ok?" he asks "Yes, I'm fine" I say and I smile. "Look, I know that back there you were taught to be a wife-slave. But I don't expect that from you. I don't want you to be my slave. I would never do anything to hurt you. I promise (Y/N)" he says and I nod.
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While I was getting out of the car, he took my things and opened the door to his house for me. I walk inside and the first thing I see is the huge library "Welcome to the Men of Letters bunker, let me show you to your room" he says and I follow him "There are many hallways but in a few days you'll get used to them" he says and I nod.
He opens the door to a room and leaves my things down "This is your room, mine is right next door. Trust me, I want us to sleep in the same bed but I thought that you might feel more comfortable if you had your space" he says "No, I'm totally fine with sleeping in the same bed with you if you want to" I say as convincing as I can. Dean is really handsome and I totally understand the ladies guy rumours but this is a first for me and to be honest I'm terrified of him and his life.
"Are you sure you what that?" he asks
"Of course" I say and I smile a bit. He nods slightly and takes my things. We go to his room and he leaves my things down. "I'm gonna go out to bring dinner and I'll be right back. You get comfortable, if you want to take a shower the bathroom is right there and I'll see you when I get back" he says and leaves the room but comes back after a second "You eat pizza, right?" he asks "Of course" I say "Great, I'll be back as soon as I can" he says and finally leaves.
I sit on the bed and I burry my face in my hands. He is being nice, I know, but this is going to get a lot harder soon. Especially when he will go out for a hunt that he'll be pissed and tired. And because he will be pissed he will want to blow some steam off and he'll do it on me. Can I really take it? I take a deep breath and I get up. I put my things in place and I go in for a shower.
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"Baby, I'm back" I hear Dean's voice. Already baby? "I'm coming" I say and I get out of the bathroom "It seems like Sammy left, he said that he went to Jody's so we have the place to ourselves" he says and I nod. I walk slowly to the bed and I sit down. I look down on my legs. I was getting more and more scared as it was gettind close to midnight.
Dean walks to me and kneels in front of me. He places his hand on my cheek and makes me look at him. "I'm not going to force you to do it, ok? I don't want to force you into anything, ok?" he asks and I nod. "Great" he says and kisses me softly. He pulls away a few inches but kisses me again but this time he kisses me slowly and passionate. The kiss got pretty heated quickly and his tongue slid in my mouth. This was weird to me because I hadn't done this before but Dean seemed really patient and understanding. But after a few seconds, I think I manage to please him. He pulls away and looks at me. "Let's go eat" he says and I nod.
He takes me to another room "Welcome to the Dean cave" he says clearly excited. I take a look around "Do you like it?" he asks "Of course" I say "Ok, stop this. Stop saying of course everytime just because you want to please me. I want you to be yourself and tell me your opinion" he says "I'm sorry, next time I will" I say and I lower my head. He frowns and sits on the couch "Sit" he says and I do.
"What do you want to watch?" he asks me. But my dad never let me watch TV. He was always watching sports and he sent me to my room because girls don't like sports "Whatever you want" I say "Ok, how about we watch the office?" he asks "Sure" I say and he nods.
"Eat something, please" he says. I take a piece of pizza and I take a bite. "And take this" he says and hands me a glass bottle. It was beer. My dad never let me drink alcohol. "It'll help you relax" he says and I take a sip. It wasn't that bad.
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We actually had a really good time together. We talked, laughed and remembered the old days. I didn't realized it when he wrapped his arm around. He looks me in the eyes and I do too. He leans slowly to me until our lips finally connect. He slid his tongue in my mouth exploring every last inch of it. His hand came on the back of my neck and was bringing me closer to him. We finally pull away and we both try to catch our breath. "I need to ask you something, and I want you to be honest because I need to know, ok?" he asks and I nod "Have you done this before?" he asks. I look away from him trying not to cry in front of him. I felt so embarrassed when I shook my head. "Look at me (Y/N). It's ok. I just need to know" he says and kisses my head.
He stands up "I'm gonna go take a shower and I'll see you in our room" he says and I nod. After he left, I went back to our room and sat on the bed waiting for my husband. It's coming. The time is coming. I can't put it off forever. He is going to do it. He is going to have sex with me. And it's going to hurt unimaginably. Most of the married friends I had back in the community told me all those things that sounded more like a horror story. Storie of pain, blood, tears, uncaring husband who is just constantly thrusting himself inside of them until he gets what he wants. All those thoughts made me lose my connection with the real world. But the noise from the water stopped and that means that he is coming. I wipe my tears and I try to stop myself from trembling.