13th Doctor x reader

Clouds

The mist eventually thinned and there was nothing there anymore. You pulled a sad smile, knowing that they were finally going to be together forever, in peace and a place of no tears.

You sighed, staring into the empty space where the two once were, before turning around. You started to walk out of the cave, not wanting to dwell upon it any longer. They were happy. They saw each other one last time. And they forgave. But it still hurt that you couldn't help them when it came to saving their lives.

You continued to walk down, trying not to look at Anicus as you passed him.

"(Y/n)" you heard the doctor call from behind you.

You stopped in your tracks, standing with your back to them all, waiting to hear whatever she wanted to say.

"Where are you going? I don't want you wandering off because-" you didn't let her finish her sentence before you continued walking away.

Of course she was worried about you wandering off. She always was. But you just needed some air and you didn't want to hear the doctor's threats about leaving you on earth. They'd already plagued your mind enough.

You stuffed your hands in your pockets, keeping an eye on the bright light at the bed of the tunnel. You were really trying not to see this whole situation as a metaphor. You tried not to be too saddened by the two. You kept telling yourself they were happy and looked the happiest and most peaceful you'd ever seen anyone when knowing they only had a few seconds left. You weren't quite sure what it was but you just needed to get out of there.

You stepped out into the air, taking a deep breath in. The air was cool and refreshing and you could smell the sweetness coming from the clouds. You smiled, walking to the edge of the drop and sitting down with your legs dangling out. You just sat there for a while, enjoying the peace.

You looked out at the view. You never really got a chance to admire it. Being so high up gave you a wonderful view of the world below. You could see the small blue space of the TARDIS standing on the floor. You really just wanted to go back to the TARDIS and back into bed.

"Nice view isn't it" you heard someone say from behind you.

You turned around and saw Graham walking over to you. He stood next to you, looking out to the world, admiring its beauty with you.

"Everything okay?" He asked.

You sighed, shrugging your shoulders.

"If it's about what happened back there, you should know that they were happy. They made it quite clear that they'd rather spend only thirty seconds with each other than an eternity apart" Graham said.

"I know, I know." You quickly said.

"It's not that is it" he asked "what is it then?"

You just didn't want the doctor to leave you again. Maybe she was just exaggerating but you had no idea. It was entirely possible that she could leave you back home. And you definitely did not want to go back home.

"It's nothing" you sighed, getting up.

You brushed off the grit off your trousers and stood up straight. You knew Graham was trying to talk to you but you really just wanted to forget about everything and not talk. Talking wasn't something you'd often like to do. You'd rather just keep everything to yourself.

You saw the doctor, Yaz, Ryan and Anicus walk out. Anicus was still hanging his head in guilt. Even though he was forgiven, the guilt of him causing their deaths must have been huge on him. Although you felt anger towards him, you felt sympathy for him also.

"What now?" Ryan asked, breaking the silence.

The doctor sighed, looking up to the colourful sky, full of happy people who had no idea what just happened.

"I think I'm going to go. Thank you for everything. All of you. And...I'm sorry" Anicus said, breathing deeply, trying to control himself as he walked away and out of sight from you all.

The doctor gave him a sympathetic look before turning back around to you. You all stood silently, unsure of what to do now.

"Well, it would be a shame to not see the clouds after climbing this high" the doctor said.

The doctor looked at you all, waiting for an answer. She knew full well that what just happened back there affected you all and she would understand fully if you didn't want to see them anymore. But you all just nodded, shrugging in response. The doctor sighed, nodding.

"Come on then" she said softly.

You all followed her in silence, everyone respecting each others need for some quite time. And it wasn't long until you'd reached the clouds you'd heard so much about.

The view instantly brought a small smile on your face. You were currently actually standing on a cloud. They were so colourful and beautiful. Plus you could eat them!

Graham and Ryan went off to look at the different clouds. You could see them talking and knew it was probably about Grace, someone who you'd heard a lot about but never had the chance to meet. It was times like this that made them closer together and talk about her more often. They helped each other grieve.

You took a few steps away from the doctor and Yaz, admiring the soft clouds beneath you. You turned back around and could see Yaz was acting very distant and quiet. And the doctor seemed to pick up on this too.

"Yaz? Are you okay?" She asked, holding Yaz's hand.

She sighed, swallowing down the lump in her throat.

"Back there..." Yaz closed her eyes, looking away from the time lord's sad old eyes.

The doctor squeezed her hand, placing another hand on her cheek and gently moving her head back towards her. Yaz looked into her hazel eyes. Yaz's eyes glistened with tears threatening to spill.

"I just...can't imagine having to live an eternity without you, the one I love. I just...it's made me realise how scared I am of...of losing you" Yaz's voice quivered with emotion as a tear slipped down her cheek.

The doctor whipped it away with her thumb, looking deep into Yaz's golden brown eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere I promise. I wouldn't let an army of daleks take me away from you. I'm always here." The doctor told Yaz, reassuring her.

The two leant in and gave each other a gentle and soft kiss, holding each other as if to tell them they'd never let go. And once they let go, the doctor smiled warmly at her, to which Yaz returned.

"You okay now?" The doctor asked.

"Yeah" Yaz whispered, nodding her head.

"Good. Because there are loads of different flavoured clouds. We need to try them all...well, except for pear. Pears are evil" the doctor said.

This made Yaz laugh, causing the doctor to smile even more, knowing she wasn't upset anymore. At least for now. And the doctor crouched down, placing a bit of the fluffy cloud in Yaz's mouth.

You looked over to Graham and Ryan who seemed to be trying the different clouds too, smiling and talking. And that just left you. Not with the grief of Isla and Archie, but with the fear of loosing these guys all over again. And leaving you with your silence that screamed words you couldn't bring yourself to say. But you knew you had to be okay. You would be, in the end. But for now anyways, you could enjoy this moment with your closest friends in happiness.