13th Doctor x reader

Speak

You didn't really have a choice when the doctor found you bleeding out. You couldn't really fight her off and by the time she'd gotten you to the med bag you'd lost all feelings. Not physically of course, you were in severe pain. But emotionally. You were just...empty. And you didn't even fight the doctor anymore or stop her from touching you, you not really caring if you were beaten to hell by anyone anymore.

She was bandaging up your right arm after finishing with your left one. You were staring off into the space in front of you, the doctor not even trying to make eye contact with you. You winced as she placed gauzes over your deeper cuts, holding back a hiss of pain from the sting of the alcohol wipes. God you needed some alcohol right now. Just a few drinks. Anything. You were definitely going to go and find out where you put that bottle earlier. You realised how much you really wanted a d ink and could hardly believe that was what you were thinking about right now.

"Jesus I'm messed up" you whispered ever so softly to yourself.

The doctor of course heard you, knowing how scarily good her alien ears were. She stopped, staring at you to which you didn't dare look back at.

"Why do you think that?" She asked

You sighed at her question "Cuz all I can think about is how much I want a bloody drink right now" you replied.

"Not about how you just cut yourself?" She asked.

You clenched your teeth "I wanted to doctor. You should have just left me like I wanted you to" you said angrily.

"And leave you to bleed out! No way!" She quickly replied.

"You were the one who said you were tired of having to pick up the mess when I hurt myself. And now when I didn't want you to come help you always interfere!" You seethed "I just wanted it all to stop. The prospect of not feeling or hearing anything ever again seems...peaceful. And you were the one who said you hoped it hurt and I deserved it!"

You heard the doctor sigh, seeing her shake her head out of the corner of your eye.

"I was angry and scared and upset when I shouted I didn't mean it." She said sadly "This isn't the answer" she said quietly.

"It's the best escape I see" you muttered. "My whole life has been like this. Every inch of my body scarred"

The doctor swallowed, biting her lip and squinting her eyes as she prepared to talk properly to you. You knew what was coming.

"(Y/n), when I was checking you over I saw all those scars" she started.

She looked to your face, hoping to see some sort of reaction. But she saw nothing. You were so empty inside that you weren't upset or angry, you were just...lost.

"(Y/n) I know the patterns of self harm and..." she took a deep breath, preparing herself to speak "and I know the patterns of abuse"

She scanned over your face, still seeing nothing. You were still staring off into the distance, although you were hearing every word she was saying and screaming inside to get away. To just run and never face this. But nothing seems to come out. And your legs refused to move.

"Has someone been doing this to you?" She asked.

You didn't respond, making the doctor sigh. She held one of your hands, causing you to finally break out of your trance and try and flinch away. The doctor didn't let go of your hand though. Instead taking a tighter grip and looking at you in the eyes.

"Who?" She asked.

You swallowed, looking away, still trying to move your hand away.

"No one" you mumbled, finally pulling out of the doctor's grip.