Shock And Awe

I've Changed

A/N: Please note that other triggering content (self-harm and suicide will be discussed) throughout the story. Please be forewarned and take precautions if these are troubling for you.

I just wanted to thank everyone for the votes and reviews. My muse and I both appreciate it. This is still, as of now, planned to be a fairly long, multi-part story, but if you all aren't into it...I'll wrap it up before too long.

And remember...votes and reviews keep me and my muse motivated...especially if they're positive!!!

***This chapter starts the second "part" of the story***More drama and more secrets revealed***

I hope you enjoy this latest chapter...Now on with the show!!!

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"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'" ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

"True love is selfless. It is prepared to sacrifice." ~ Sadhu Vaswani
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Chapter 23

I hate the way I ran off like that...leaving JJ with so many questions...and undoubtedly worried...but I really had no other choice. I couldn't risk her coming with me...putting her in danger. I know I'm probably walking right into a trap...but, I'd never forgive myself if something happened to JJ because of me.

It's already my fault that Summer is caught up in this mess...that she's in danger now. There was absolutely no way that I was going to take the chance of putting JJ in danger too!

I have no idea how Lucas found out about Summer...or how he got to her. I thought we were all being extra cautious...especially once we all found out he had been released on parole. I guess it doesn't really matter now though. Somehow he found her and all I know is that I have to save her...I won't let him hurt her.

I've risked too much already trying to protect her...protect her and everyone else from him and Ian. Ian's dead now...and I didn't think Lucas was a threat anymore. I should've known better. He was always the biggest threat I faced...much greater than Ian ever was...and now he has Summer.

The last time Lucas found me...in the same damn park I'm heading to right now...that night after the case with Matthew wrapped up...when I decided to go for my ill-fated walk in the snow....he caught me by surprise. This time I know where I'm going and what I'm walking into...even if I realize it's a trap.

The ironic thing is that there are positives and negatives about knowingly walking into a trap with your greatest enemy...a monster that can so easily blend into the rest of society...appearing charming, handsome, sophisticated, and downright normal to everyone they meet. I know him...better than probably anyone else...maybe even better than he knows himself. That'll help me in this kind of situation.

The flip side of that is that he knows me better than most people. I let him get too close...shared too much with him. That was before I learned to close myself off from everyone that I think might get too close...keep silent...compartmentalize all of my emotions. He'll know what buttons to push and he'll be able to read me better than most people can...even with all of my walls and compartments.

As I pull into the parking lot, I know exactly where I'm going. The same path I walked that night he found me walking alone and attacked me. As I turn the engine off and glance out the windshield, I'm struck by the normalcy of it all. The dichotomy of my surroundings and my emotions seem so odd.