Do You Remember? | t.h. | ✔️

31-

         

//Promises don't last forever, but forever can't exist without promises//

Toms' POV

Thoughts were still racing through my head, snippets of the past bombarded my heart and mind. I closed my eyes and let them hit me full force, hard enough to let a few tears to trace across my cheekbones. I knew Haz was standing in the door way, watching over me like my mom did seven years ago.

It had been a month since I'd seen y/n, I had been on vacation with my family. I promised to call her every day, but I didn't. My acting career had finally really started picking up and I didn't want to hurt her more later when I told her that I had to go to the US. We pulled into the driveway and I saw y/n run to the car from the back garden a huge smile was on her face, she was so beautiful.

"Tommy, you're back!" She shouted as she ran to where I was standing; the rest of my family was inside unpacking. Her smile was so beautiful, but I forced myself to stay stone-faced

"Why are you here?" I groaned, she opened her mouth to answer but I cut her off. "I don't want you here, y/n I never wanted you here. You are god damn clingy, god, can't you take a hint and leave me the fuck alone. "I watched as my words pierced her heart like bullets from a gun. My eyes began to water but I forced my cheeks to stay dry. Her smile had faded, a hurt expression painted her face. Seeing her hurting made me hurt more than I already did.

"W-What?" She said choking on her words.

"Like I told you, Leave. Me. The Fuck. Alone." My words were cold. I looked at her face and saw tears welling up in her eyes. I wanted to cry too but I couldn't show much emotion for she word wrap her arms tightly around me and I would regret every word I said more than I already did.

"Tommy?" She said quietly as a tear traced its way down her cheek. The girl standing before me was being apart from the inside out. I wanted to take back every word, but it was too late, everything had been said.

"Go." I said, my voice cracked and I too had tears streaming down my face, she walked away shoulders slumped, hands hanging limply at her sides. I just hurt her more than anyone else ever could, and there wasn't anything I could do to make it better.

"I'm sorry, I love you Sunshine." I whispered after her, but she never heard me. It was true I really did love her, I love her more than anyone I had ever loved before. I turned and walked back inside the house. I guess my family saw what was happening outside from the window because they quickly dispersed, we'll all but my mum. She had a sad smile on her face.

"I'm sorry." She whispered pulling me into a hug, I didn't want someone to try and console me, but I couldn't hold it in anymore, I completely broke down, turning my mum's grey shirt to almost black. "You wanna tell me what happened?" She asked still holding me close.

"No." The truth was, I really wanted to tell her that I just made the biggest mistake of my life, I wanted to tell her that I wanted to take everything back, I wanted to tell her I loved y/n.

Three days later.

"Tom, I made your favorite! Chocolate chip pancakes!" My dad shouted up the stairs, I still wasn't hungry. I sat up in bed and looked out the window, her shades were still shut tight against the morning sunlight. I wanted to see her, I wanted to apologise, I wanted, no, needed to tell her that what I said was all a mistake, that I said it only so I wouldn't hurt her more in the future. I thought of her face when I said that she was clingy, shock painted her face; she never expected me to say that to her, and if anyone was clingy in the relationship it was me, I was the one who wanted to spend every single second of the day with her. As much as it hurt me to say that she was clingy, the five words that followed tore both of us apart from the inside out. A single tear traced its way down my cheek thinking about it, I thought that I had cried myself dry days ago.

"Tom, come eat, please. We are all worried about you." My mum said softly as she stood in the doorway.

"I'm not hungry." I said turning back to look out the window.

"What happened?" My mum pried.

"I messed up okay? I fucked everything up and it's too late to take it all back." Sobs were stuck in the back of my throat, making it hard to breathe.

"I'm sorry sweetie, I know you cared a lot about her."

"Cared a lot? Cared a lot! Mum, she was my best friend and the girl I loved, I care a lot more about her than you will ever know." I said tears now streaming down my cheeks.

"Please come and eat."

"No." My mum walked away slowly from my doorway, I listened as I heard each step creak as she descended to the first floor.

I promise, I will never make the same mistake I made with you again.

Truth.