Dear John

Letter from Monkee66

Dear John,
Hello. How are you? How was your Easter, if you celebrate it? If not then how was your weekend? My weekend was pretty good. I'm an Auntie!! So I'm super happy about that! He's a cute little thing. Anyway, random questions for you.

What is the funniest name you have actually heard used in the real world?
What movie would be greatly improved if it was made into a musical?
If animals could talk, which would be the rudest?
What part of a kid's movie completely scared you?
What set of items could you buy that would make the cashier the most uncomfortable?
What's the best type of cheese?
First think of a product. Now, what would be the absolute worst brand name for one of those products?
How many chickens would it take to kill an elephant?
What would be the worst "buy one get one free" sale of all time?
What movie completely changes its plot when you change one letter in its title? What's the new movie about?
If you were wrongfully put into an insane asylum, how would you convince them that you're actually sane and not just pretending to be sane?
Is cereal soup?

Dear Monkee66 ,

Hello! I am doing good, and it's great to hear you're doing good too! My Easter was great, thank you. That's great that your an auntie! Many fun years are ahead of you with your little nephew! :)

1. The funniest name I've ever heard is "Apple." What would possess some parents to cruelly name their child that?!? Imagine this conversation:

Parent: Man, I'd really like an apple right now.

Apple (the kid): I'm right here.

Parent: I didn't buy any at the store, and I swear they were on my list!

Apple: You had me on your shopping list?!?

Parent: Yeah, apples are quite tasty. I love how they crunch when you eat them.

Apple: *shrieks in terror* I'M GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!

2. I think Tropic Thunder would be absolutely hilarious if it was a musical.

3. If animals could talk, I believe monkeys would be the rudest. Imagine going to a zoo and having the monkeys trash talk you!

4. A scene in a kid's movie that has scared me were the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz. Those things are terrifying! *shudders*

5. Hmm. What could I buy that would make a cashier really uncomfortable? I think you're asking this to make ME uncomfortable. Well, there's the stuff in the women's time of the month section and there's the birth control stuff. If I was a cashier and a customer came up with that stuff, I would be squirming.

6. Limburger cheese! Once you get passed the smell, it's amazing!

7. Okay, I'm thinking of a product . . . Puffs tissues! The worst possible brand name for them would probably be "I Don't Have My Thesaurus on Me at the Moment, So I Can't Think of A Soft-Sounding Name for These Tissues."

8. I think it would take two hundred really enraged, elephant-hungry chickens to kill an elephant. Chicken rage! Now that's taking Angry Birds to a new level!

9. I think a "buy one, get one free" sale on cars would be the worst . . . for the car salesmen! The rest of us would love it! "Yeah, I'll take that Corvette, and since I've got a freebie, I'll take that Mercedes too."

10. I'll change a letter in Lassie and make it Gassie. The new movie is about a really gassy border collie named Gassie who saves people from villains with her unbearable stench!

11. If I was put in an insane asylum when I was perfectly sane, I'd prove my sanity by showing them my results on an Internet quiz called, "Are you crazy?" Once they see my results are "Not Insane At All," they'll let me go, I'm sure.

11. You know, I never thought of cereal as soup. Hmm. I'd say that it isn't. I don't know why, but cereal as soup just doesn't seem right . . .