I Constantly Thank God For Solangelo

Trans Positivity Week - Thursday - Coming Out

Nico remembers the day he came out as transgender to Will. It was the day after he came out as transgender to his father.

He was twelve, and Will was thirteen. He remembers that he was going over to Will's house anyway, and he considered rescheduling it. He was on his first period, and he didn't know if he wanted to be around people. He remembers how bad his stomach hurt, and achy his back was.

He figured, though, he should get used to it. He remembers how bitter he felt as he told himself to 'man the heck up' and how this was going to be happening for the rest of his life, one week, every single month.

When his father asked him if he was sure he wanted to go, Nico nodded mutely. He remembered that he was wearing a pair of his sweatpants and a relatively boyish shirt. He's pretty sure he got it in the boys section anyway. He was also wearing a jacket, not because it was cold, but so he could keep a few extra pads with him, just in case.

Him and his father got into the car quietly.

"Nico," he said seriously, and Nico looked at him, "if he doesn't accept you for this, or if he starts being rude to me, I want you to call me, okay?" Nico nods.

He's scared. Will was one of his only friends at school, and he didn't want to lose him. Sixth graders could be cruel, and he didn't think he would be able to survive it without him.

"If his mother says anything rude to you, call me," he said, and Nico nodded again. The rest of the car ride is in silence. And he remembers himself slowly losing breath as they got closer and closer to Will house, he remembers his palms getting sweaty and his heart start pounding.

"I'm scared," Nico muttered when they parked. Hades looked at him and frowned.

"It's going to be okay, Nico," he had said. Nico shook his head, he could feel his eyes burning with tears.

"I'm scared," he said again, this time it was laced with a sob. He had put his hand to his eye, pressing his palms into it to try and hold back the tears. It was then that he realized how much he actually cared about Will. How much he cares about Will's opposition and his approval. He really didn't want Will to hate him, and he was just so, so scared.

Then Hades has pulled Nico into hug. He had rubbed up and down Nico's back comfortingly despite the uncomfortable position they were in. Nico had cried into his father's shoulder, but it didn't last long when Naomi walked out of the house, smiling and waving, with Will in tow.

He quickly wiped his eyes on his sleeve, trying to make it look as if he hadn't just been crying. Hades had given him a concern look.

"Do you still want to be here? It's okay if you want to come home," Nico shook his head. He wanted to know what Will thought then rather than later.

"Can you stay?" He mumbled, "I don't want to be alone when I tell them." Hades smiled, and got out of the car with him.

Naomi was frowning at them, her eyes set on Nico, as they walked up to where the two stood.

Will didn't seem to notice anything off, though.

"Nicolette! I got some new cards-"

"Will," he cut him off, eyes trained on the ground, "could- could you call me Nico? For now on, please." Will frowned.

"What? Why?"

"Because," he said, he didn't look at Will as he shrugged, "because that's name," in a burst of confidence he didn't know where came from, he said, "I'm a boy and I want you to call me Nico."

"A boy?" His frown deepened, "I thought you were a girl?"

"William," his mother said sternly. Nico looked up at her.

"Sorry," he says, then smiles again, "Nicolette, I got-"

"Nico," his mother corrected. He playfully slapped himself on the forehead.

"Sorry. Nico, I got some new Pokémon cards, do you wanna see?" Nico hesitated then, but he nodded and walked into Will's house with him after looking back at his dad.

He remembers after spending about an hour in Will's room, Will had called him Nicolette a total of three times and Nico eight times. Each time he called Nico Nicolette, he would smack himself in the head and correct himself. He remembers Will calling him she two times and he four. Each time he called him she, he would smack himself in the head and correct himself.

Other than that, everything was normal. His mom smiled at him and talked to him as she gave them a snack like she always did. Nico and Will laughed together as they took pictures of themselves with ridiculous filters. They played games on Will's phone and laughed like they always did.

Nico decided then that he really, really was glad to have someone like Will in his life. He decided that he really liked Will. Maybe even more than a friend.

When Nico got home that night, he blushed as he thought about his first crush.

———

Looking at Will now, Nico's glad he told him everything. His thoughts and feelings. Will was such an amazing person, and Nico could only hope Will knew and felt the same way Nico does.

Nico smiled softly, gently tucking a few strands of golden hair behind Will's ear. He leaned over to his sleeping figure and oh so gently pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

———

(950)