Different ~ m.e

Chapter 23

I stand there stunned as the crowd let out gasps, awhs and mutter some hateful things under their breath. I act as though I didn't hear it. Something inside of me rises, it's a burning sensation making it's way from the pit of my stomach to my chest. It hurts more than anything I've ever felt. My vision starts to blur and I can just make out Matt talking to me, I think he looks worried. I can't hear what he's saying. I can't hear anything. I'm panicking. I open my mouth but no words come out. I want to scream. I try to talk
"I-I-I'm gonna be sick" with that I mentally scream at my legs to move. They take their time to respond but they do, I walk off the stage and through the double doors where the boys had originally entered from. I speed up into a jog, then before I know it I'm sprinting back to my room. Do not throw up in the hallway sky. Don't do it. I'm not even sure I'm going to be sick. I just have to get away. Away from everything. Away from life.

After about 2 minutes of running, I arrive at my room's door, it's wide open. I don't have time to be scared or worried because the burning feeling is rising up my throat. I run to the bathroom and throw myself onto my knees and put my head into the toilet so that sick won't go onto me. I lean there and wait. 3 minutes pass and nothing. I sit back against the shower and take a second to think. Matt asked me to be his girlfriend in front of thousands of his fans and I ran away. I also think about all the times I've had with Matt. Some of them were good. The journey to McDonalds, him teasing me about the Shawn cd, the first time he called me beautiful, when he kissed all my scars, when he stayed the night and I fell asleep in his arms. But then my mind switched to the bad things, all the screaming, the fact he'd slept with my best friend, breaking my heart, making me trust him and then throwing it back in my face, him having a go at me in the diner, the secretive conversations with Amy when we first met him. The bad things overpower the good things and make them seem insignificant. I just want to go home and forget this all never happened.

The burning sensation is back again. Before I have time to reach the toilet, I throw up. It goes down my front, down Amy's clothes. Great. Now I have to buy her another outfit. I get up just as there's a knock at the door. I open it to see a worried looking Matt. He looks down at me. I'm so embarrassed.
"Oh sky" he says sympathetically
"Matt-" I start to explain everything
"Don't worry, you don't have to explain" he takes my hand "come on let's get you cleaned up"
"Matt I'm sorry I ran off"
"It's okay Sky, I'm just glad you're okay" he smiles and leads me to the wardrobe. He opens it and pulls out one of Amy's one pieces- it's pale grey with white writing covering it. I nod at his good choice. He holds the hem of my shirt and starts to lift it up.
"Matt"
"Don't worry, I'm not trying to get in your pants, I'm just trying to get you out of your sicked on clothes"
"That's not a word" I tease
"I don't care" he continues to lift and I life my arms allowing him to take my shirt off. He takes it to the bathroom and I hear the tap at the sink running. Seconds later, Matt appears again. "I put your shirt in the sink to soak."
"You're quite a domestic goddess" I tease. I tease him to cover the embarrassment.
"Hey you're in no position to tease me! You threw up on yourself" I prods me with his index finger "now let me have those pants" he winks
"I thought you weren't trying to get in my pants?" I can't help but laugh
"You know what I meant" I laugh and I step out of my white jeans. He picks them up and stands back up, his eyes moving up my body. When he's eye level he stares straight into my eyes.
"I really like you Sky"
"I know, I just feel like I can't trust you. I want to. But I can't"
"I know what you mean, what can I do to make you trust me?"
"You're doing a pretty good job now"

He smiles and walks into the bathroom. While he's gone, I put the one piece on and tie my hair into a high ponytail. Luckily I didn't get any vomit in my hair. Matt walks back into the room.

"Sky, I have to tell you something and I don't want you to talk okay?" I nod in agreement "Sky, I really really like you, i fall for you more every time I see you. I'm sorry I hurt you, I hate myself for it. I have no regrets in my life apart from this one. I wish I hadn't done it. Sometimes I wish so hard that I hadn't done it tears come in my eyes. You're the most beautiful, funny, witty, intelligent, caring girl I've ever met and I'm so glad that I met you, I hope that even if you don't like me back, we can still be friends. Best friends. I know about the situation between you and Taylor and I get it if you decide that you like him and not me. He's a great guy and he loves you, I just don't think he loves you as much as I do. I'm sorry sky, I beg of you please forgive me" he gets onto his knees "look, I'm actually on my knees begging you, please sky, I can't loose you. I know you're leaving tomorrow but I have to know that you don't hate me as much as I hate myself." He stands up and cups my face in his hands as a tear runs down his face "please Sky" I lean in and place my lips against his. I hold them there for a while and then release. We smile at each other.
"Ok"
"Okay?"
"Okay I forgive you"
"Thank you so much, I love you Sky"
"And ok"
"Okay what?"
"I will be your girlfriend" his eyes light up "you've earned it" I wink, he pulls me in and kisses me again, this time a lot deeper, more passionate. He holds onto my waist and soon releases, pulling me into a tight hug. He later grabs my hand and yanks me towards the door "I have to tell everyone how happy I am"
"Matt, I'm wearing a onesie"
"I don't care, you look beautiful! And I've just seen you with sick down your front and that hasn't changed how I feel about you"
"Please do not tell anyone about that!" He laughs as a response and we make our way back to the stage.

A few minutes later, Matt drags me into the stage.
"I'd like to introduce you all to my girlfriend" there are lots of awhs and more under the breath mutters. "If anyone sends her hate I will never forgive them" he kisses my cheek and I feel myself blush. I look for Amy in the crowd, she's nowhere to be seen. I look at all the faces onstage until one catches my eye.

Taylor.