The Diary of a depressed nation

February 11

[i know ive been gone im sorry. also rusame warning bc i need my otp right now]

April 12, 1861

Dear Diary,

A war had officially started. I know it was inevitable, but that doesn't mean that I want or accept it.

Having each of the states recede hurt me, physically and mentally. Every time one leaves, it makes me sick and I'm completely immobile and useless for the entire day afterwards.

What makes it worse is that Confederacy finally took shape today. He was just a voice, and sometimes a hallucination, but never was he a physical form. I only found out because he and Mr. Lee came and contacted Mr. Lincoln about the personification. They were saying that since they have thier own personification that they are already their own country and that the union should just accept it.

Mr. Lincoln had to almost drag me out of the office because I just blew up. It's not fair! How dare he take my states away from me! They're my brothers and sisters! My family! They're all I have, and he took them away. I don't think I've ever said this, but I hope they lose. And I wish the Confederacy, whose name is James, was dead. I wish a lot of terrible things on James. Things I've never, ever wished on anyone. And it scares me.

I also came across Mr. Russia today. He seems to support me and not James like England did. I'm unspeakably grateful for it. I find myself to be oddly mesmeriazed by the cold nation. I dont see why everyone is so afraid of him all the time. England always told me that Mr. Russia was a bad country that would seek only to destroy and take over my land. I don't think he's all that bad. He sure hasn't tried to do anything to me yet, and I've known him for quite a long time now. Well, relatively, at least. And his eyes are purple! That's so weird! Mine are only blue, like France's, and England's are green. I don't remember what color Mattie's are; it's een so long since I've seen him.

But anyway Mr. Russia came by today to talk about some politics, mostly my own. He looked rough, but not too bad. Not as bad as I had felt recently, although I would never say that to him. I made sure that he had eaten as soon as he had gotten into my home. Food is very imortant, and a great way to form friendships, at least in my country. He said that he liked the way us western countries were run, and that his boss(Alexander, I think it was?) wanted to try to make his country more like mine. He says that they're on the verge of a change. It sounds like a pretty big change, but he didn't tell me what. I could tell by the way he spoke about it.

I must have been doing more than I thought, because I fell asleep while he was telling me stories of his past. His country sounds almost magical. I wish I could go there sometime. Maybe after this god forsaken war is over.

I was very emberassed when I woke up again with my head in his lap like a pillow. I found out that his name is Ivan. I think that's a big deal? The only other country's names I know are England's (Arthur) and Mattie's (obviously). I don't know Papa France's or Mr. Spain's or Mr. Prussia's. That's why I think it might be a big deal. I don't care who knows my name; it's not too important. In fact, I'd rather people did know my name. It means that I'm becoming the country that I have always dreamed of being.

It means that I've become great.

-Alfred

~*~*~*~

i needed some rusame in my life, and i chose this time period because 1)i ran out of present day ideas that make sense and 2) i was reading a fic earlier about the two and this was one of the better parts in it. it just got me thinking is all

sorry i've been dead for a few days, but i think i needed a break. Not necessarily from this, but just a break in general, which i did. im back now, though.

im mad at my brother bc hes in trouble and now we cant go skating or bowling or do anythything fun. sooooomadrightnowicanteven

but im watching markiplier play 'emily wants to play', so i guess its not too bad.

and it was really warm out today but we didnt get to do anything since MY BROTHER'S A FUCKIN DIPSHIT AND GOT HIMSELF IN TROUBLE..

but the thing is, his only punishment is to clean the dining room and he's cool, but he wont fucking do it.

fucking damn it

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this would have been out an hour ago but i kept getting pulled away right at the end.

and thanks for listening to my rant, if you did