The Diary of a depressed nation

October 21

Dear Diary,

I had a really bad episode of depression today. It started out not so bad, I could deal with it. But it progressively got worse as the day went on. I really felt like dying. So, I chose to cut up my arms again. I honestly think I subconsciously like the pain or something, because I keep going back to it when I'm at my worst. I don't even know.

But then I couldn't get all of the blood up off the sink and I felt really bad about it so I tried using the peroxide I always bring with me, but I spilled some on the rug that he has, so I felt even worse. So, I left a note that said I would replace it and I sort of ran away kinda? I'm still in the vicinity. I'm in the woods, actually, back to sitting in a tree. But this time I did a better job of hiding my tracks, so anyone isn't very likely to be able to follow me out here.

So now I'm here, sitting in this tree with one of the eagles that I've made friends with over the past little while. I still haven't talked to Canada, even though I know I should. I just don't want to bother him with my own problems when he has problems of his own.

It's just so hard, being such a young country and a superpower at the same time. I don't really have anyone that I can just sit with and have them protect me like a mother would. Isn't that weird? Out of all the things I could wish for in the entire world, I wish for a minute of nothing but the protection of a mother. I'm weak, I know.

It's times like these when I miss Mother most. What I wouldn't give to have her back for just a day.

I wonder how Nasa's doing. And the states. I haven't had any contact with them since the one time with the Dakotas. I hope York hasn't killed anyone yet, that would be bad. Do you think

wait oh fuck Russia fucking tracked me out here god damnit. As long as he doesn't look up I should be fine... Damn, I thought I did a good enough job of covering for myself. I guess I really can't do anything right.

Anyway, I think as long as he doesn't see me I'm going to sleep out here tonight and go back in the morning. Imma put you away before he notices the scratchy sound I'm making up here, so goodnight

-A hopeless cause 

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yep. thought you guys needed a revisit to depression. the book is called 'diary of a depressed nation', after all. uplifting, I know.

see you all tomorrow, goodnight