The Diary of a depressed nation

November 10

Dear Diary,

Lately I've wanted to go out and tour again, but I don't know where.

I forgot to tell you guys, but the meetings were postponed to today because of my elections, which was nice because I wouldn't have gone otherwise, but this means that I have no excuse to not go. So today, I met up with Canada, who brought France, who started fussing over me like there's something wrong with me. I mean, there is, but he doesn't need to know that.

I even remembered to re-bandage my arms properly so they wouldn't bleed through and no one would notice. Of course, Mattie suspected by the way I held my arms just behind my back, but I think he was the only one, and he doesn't know for sure, I guarantee it.

I spoke with Russia briefly about his new missile, then about the next supply trip to the ISS. That, sadly, was about it, because I had to present again, but it was about my politics and just some new information on what might change because of Trump. I think that they all just pity me and my crappy election outcomes. Fuck, even I pity me because of my crappy elections. Pretty much the general consensus was 'Good luck, America'. Fucking fuck. Well, except for Russia, where everyone thinks that this is a turn towards world peace, but whatever.

But after I almost died presenting and was called an idiot by more than one country, I went to the bathroom, cried, threw up again, then got myself under control and went back to the meeting room with a fake smiled plastered to my face. When things like this happen, it is always just easier for me to put on the mask that slides so easily into place. At least, it keeps me from completely breaking down and either crying in front of all of them, or hurting someone. I don't know how I'd live with myself if I hurt one of them.

But then me, Canada, and Russia went out to eat and stuff. I just got coffee because I had already thrown up today and didn't feel like doing it again. Of course, they both knew not to press me about it, for which I thank them. It made things a little easier for when I got home so I didn't do something stupid like drink bleach or something like that, which I did one time. I regretted that decision real quick.

Uuugggghhhhh I have to go back and face all of those people again tomorrow! I. Don't. wanna. Meh.

I'm gonna go and use the sleeps and stuff. Later.

-Jones

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sorry but this was going to be out like an hour ago but I had to do chores then I got distracted by youtube an' shit so yea...