Don't Forget About Me| August Alsina Story

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"We can get you sum'n ta' eat from somewea' else, ok baybeh?" He said looking from the road to me.

He was trying to be so calm and act like the whole situation at the restaurant never happened. But me? Oh I was a whole nother story. I couldn't even wrap my mind around any of this. I had so many unanswered questions, things that I can't ask the one person I need to get to; my mother. Did she truly create me with another man and rip me away from him just to take me to hell? How could she lie to me like this? Or was he lying? It makes sense, I mean this man did just come out of nowhere telling me I was his child. But then I'm left with the question of why would he lie to me? What reason does he have to lie. There is something that I'm missing here.

I-I just don't fucking understand...

But I will get to the bottom of this.

"You heard meh' baybeh?"

Not even bothering to respond to him, I just laid my head on the window and focused on the scenery that we vastly passed by as we drove. Crazy how the gloomy mood I had was matched by the weather; one minute it's sunny, the next minute there are dark gray clouds hovering over us ready to spring their cleansing cries over everything. Only thing that's different is my cries aren't going to be cleansing, they're going to be a stream of tainted waters. Pain and confusion woven throughout me and my tears.

"Armani," He sighed, "I'm gone get ta' bottom of dis' shit fa' you, aight? Don't even stress."

"But I need ta' be da' one puttin' da' pieces ta'getha, I need ta' be da' one figurin' it out." I thought to myself.

"Mani, baybeh, you know I got'chu. Don't let dis' mess wit' you, I know it's sudden, but please don't let dis' knock you off yo' game."

I stayed towards the window though. I didn't want any of this to bother me, but truth is, it did.

"Can we juss' go home please. I juss' wanna go home."

"So you good? Youn' wanna talk about it?"

"No, I juss' wanna go home." I mumbled as the soft sounds of the pattering rain sounded through the truck.

I felt his eyes on me for a split second before hearing his deep gruffly sigh, "Aight mani, imma get'chu home."

*

*

*

Standing in the mirror looking at myself I tried to see the resemblance between Terrance and I. I tried picking out which parts of me supposedly belonged to him. I rose my hand to my wet cheek, been releasing my sorrows since I closed the bathroom door shut. My smile was my mama, my hair was my mama, my lips, my eyes — everything was her. All these questions swarming in my mind and here I am trying to answer them myself. Here I am crying silent tears and staining my face because I felt abandoned and alone all over again. If he is my father, and he did know my mother, then why the hell did he leave us behind? Why did he leave us there to fend for ourselves in the lion's den. Where the hell was he when I had to raise Kali as my own and go countless nights hungry, bleeding to death almost every night.

I'm not sad, I'm not upset, I'm not mad about this situation... I'm pissed the fuck off!

I'm hurt!