okay y'all i'm back and at it !!1!1!1! two days ago marked the first day of school so of course i'm gonna write a rant about it man :-)))
okay so , basically i woke up at 5:45 the usual blah blah blah. this whole school week, we're not doing work. we're playing games, having class discussions, literally no work. the reason for this is because we seem to have an issue with race at our school (( which i've talked to y'all about already )), and the racial issues going on at our school. this summer we read the book "the absolutely true diary of a part-time indian", and it was a book about race, living on the rez as an indian and being indian in general (( the writer refers to himself as indian and all that. ))
so, i read the book and it's a pretty good read. it talks about things from a boy's point of view and i think it's pretty accurate, basically also touches on masturbation and male arousal, blah blah blah.
ok i'm not gonna describe the book in detail but it's basically about a poor indian boy living on the rez who goes to an all white highschool, basically betraying all the other people that live on the rez. his brain is "filled with water" ( aka he's hydrocephalic. ) so this is a book about a disabled POC who deals with race issues, his fate, white people, all that.
but anyway, back to the actual school part. yesterday, we get to school, i see my friends, i go to homeroom, whatever.
but yall. GUESS who is in my homeroom... bitch you guessed it ! FUCKBOY !! AKA THE RACIST WHITE BOY ! bitch i'm shook !
we literally gave each other a look when i walked in like i was death staring the shit outa him. but y'all, remember my seventh grade lab partner, Ant?? yea he's in my HR but we'll get to that later :-)
so anyway i barely remember what we did on the first day cuz we did not do work. but we walked the perimeter of the school (so outside of the school), but only by choice, so my friends & i did that. and we had a discussion about the summer reading book in my class and blah blah blah whatever.
so like, we talked about examples of social injustice and i brought up brock turner and how he got out THREE MONTHS EARLY ON AN ALREADY SHORT FUCKING SENTENCE. if y'all don't know who he is, please just google him lmao. so basically when i was talking about brock i was looking DIRECTLY at Fuckboy because i kid you not but when we were english partners last year he dead ass said he was going to r*pe a girl. not in those exact words, but he might as well have said it. and he always makes jokes about that, he's so fucking trash.
so i'm looking directly at this nigga while speaking mind you when i get angry my voice trembles whether i like it or not. but mostly when i'm talking about social justice, like if someone's arguing with me about racism my voice starts shaking because it works me up. this brock turner case makes me SO mad that i just can't keep steady while talking about him because it's just so vile and horrible.
but anyway he knew i was looking at him, he knew why, because he was looking right back at me and he looked very upset like his face was so shook. like ya know when you give someone a face that says "what the fuck dude" that was his face ! and yeah there's a couple ugly ass ignorant ass cis pale ugly disgusting umm tragic white boys in my homeroom, and they were shook TOO.
so onto Ant.
THIS NIGGA FINALLY HAS A REAL CONNECTION WITH ME TWO YEARS LATER. ITS LIKE OKAY WAHT THE FUCKSNDIODKFF. okay so like for starters whenever i spoke HE WOULD SMILE AT ME. which is like weird i never expected that. and when we did this class activity where we had to talk to each other he goes,
"zuzu!" when he sees me like he was so excited and i'm just annoyed like boy what the fuck. how are you gonna ignore me for the past LITERALLY TWO YEARS THEN GAS ME UP CUZ WE HAVE THE SAME HR. IT DON'T WORK LIKE THAT. AND I FEEL LIKE HE EXPECTED ME TO BE ALL NICE AND SHIT BUT WTF GOT ME CONFUSED AS HECK !!
anyway so the rest of the day we just played games and stuff and we played two truths and one lie right. so i said that i have a bunny as one of my truths and some people thought that was the lie. and Ant kept going,
"nah she actually has a bunny."
hm ! inter esting that you actually remember that... inter esting.
i just find it funny how he's gonna be dry af @ me for the longest time then act like we're besties in person like i wanna be his bestie again cuz we were tight y'all no lie, but it doesn't !! work !! like !! that !!
anyway whenever i got up he would look too and blah blah blah it was just awkward. same thing happened today but no smiling he would just literally look at me when he thought i wasn't looking. had me shook !
ok and sometimes i do this thing where it LOOKS like i'm staring at you but i'm actually looking behind you or something so at one point it looked like i was staring at Ant. and it was just funny cuz we were talking about bullying at the moment (this was the second day of school, still no work, just talks and stuff), and we were talking about ignoring others and stuff. hm ! funny how at that moment i just happened to look like i was staring at Ant ! funny how at that moment he looked sad as fuck like yea boi you know you FUCKED UP.
but lowkey i hope i have some classes with him not gonna lie i still like Ant and all that he's a cool person and we were super close and yeah whatever.
anyway so much more LIT stuff happened on friday (second day of school) which i'll talk about later but i jus had to give yall that update !!
#zuzaf
