my period -
so i'm on my period and it started today and i literally JUST stopped crying over my fucking math homework. i was in tears. over my math homework.
and i was literally wailing: "everybody understands this but meeee" and i started just bawling & then i was like wait i'm on my period that's probably why i'm so confused and upset.
anyways, idk why but when my period comes, about a week or so before i'm super gloomy and sad and dark and upset and stuff which sucks and then the day of my period i'm like a mess. like idk why but my flow is heavy the first day and then all these bad things happen to my body. like i start crying, i get emotional, backaches, body aches yada yada yada. and right now i'm just irritated. and i'm really hungry because i barely ate anything today this is my food down.
- 11:30: three nasty meatballs from school.
- 2:35 pm: cheeto puffs (and im p sure i could've gotten more than what i bought bc now that i'm thinking about it, i think it was two for $1 LOL. but i only bought one idk idk. )
- 2:45 pm: cheeseburger, fries.
that's literally it. i had no water either, just a blue raspberry icee & a lemonade so you can imagine how that helped. lol i'm not that healthy oH WELL!
so yeah now i'm hungry and i want a full on meal but see the thing is i can't cook nd mom's asleep and i also don't want to have to brush my teeth again so. i might as well just get a snack though but idk anymore.
paranormality (i'm really hoping that's a word LOL) -
so this is part one since i really want to go to bed soon.
but basically, since i was little i've been very easily scared especially with this whole ghosts thing whatever.
now ghosts don't scare me but idk i get bad vibes when i think of "bad ghosts" or whatever. i'm definitely no expert so it's not like i know what I'm talking about when i tell you this but i'm gonna just go ahead.
so i was maybe nine or ten, who knos ? and i'm chillin out, trying to sleep in my room. but obvi, i can't. and idk if my lil mind was hallucinating or something but i looked in front of me and i saw like wispy things. they were like clouds and you could easily see them bla bla bla yada yada yada. so i'm looking in front of me and there's this thing that looks like a cloud shaped as a boy. but here's the catch, the boy has fuCKING ALIEN EARS OR DEVIL HORNS OR WHATEVER. no face(not in a creepy way but there was just literally no face.)
so i'm like lol wtf and then i look to my right and i had a basket tucked in the corner of my room and i saw something wispy like fly into it.
so i go back to sleep whatever. tbh idk what that was all about but i never saw the wisp things again and i figured i could see ghosts. so i'm lowkey like ok cool as long as it doesn't bother me. now that i'm older, it could've been sleep paralysis or something but it wasn't scary enough to have been in the first place.
and then another story. it was like early last year and i think i ranted about this in #rantable, but i was sleeping last night and my back faces the ceiling when i sleep, i don't do that sleeping on your back shit. so i can like feel something over me, idk if it was a presence or not. i wasn't feeling bad but i wasn't feeling chipper either.
so i continue to sleep, and then my leg starts feeling like it's dissolving. idk how to describe it but it just completely leaves me.
and then even better, i literally shoot up from the covers and start BABBLING NONSENSE. LITERALLY INCOHERENT NONSENSE LIKE I WAS MAKING WORDS BUT THEY WERE GIBBERISH WORDS. and i start like freaking out and moving my covers all over the place.
and you're probably rolling your eyes thinking "smh zuzu that's called sleep talking."
and i know people who sleep kick, talk and walk. the whole trio.
i do not sleep kick, walk or talk. i do not. i've never talked in my sleep and i know this because i used to record myself(like a voice recorder) when i went to sleep lol weirdo.
so while i'm literally being a little fucker, i'm like aware of what i'm doing but in the moment, i didn't think of it as odd or strange at all, to me in those moments it was like it was completely normal, and it wasn't. for me to feel something other than my bedsheets over my back and then to shoot out of the covers speaking nonsense and thrashing in my covers isn't normal for me lol.
also keep in mind that earlier that day i made a joke about the cloud looking like the devil and i said it was a sign and my mom said "don't say that." so ya girl is suspicious.
and sometimes if i just stare, i can see things like people. maybe this is just my head remembering all the people i've seen that day, but the people i envision when i stare into space aren't familiar. and this doesn't happen at school, only at my house.
also things that i'm keeping in mind is that this house used to belong to a woman who's sick now and she's old. so.
and i remember once i walked into my room and i was looking at the floor and i think it was someone's name like stamped onto the floor. and i had never seen that up until early last year. like never and idk where it came from and i told my mom and she said "idk it must be from the old owners" which is odd to me because i never saw it before but okay.
and once i was little so i was sleeping in my mom's room, safe and sound. and then all of a sudden these pillows just fall on top of me and the window curtains are like whooshing & it was not windy outside ???
anyways tomorrow i might write more about my "experiences" involving my mom's room and 4th grade. sorry if these were boring, i didn't want to scare myself by ranting about the important stuff.
#zuzaf
