guys

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Hey guys! It's Cindy.
It feels good to be back at it again with our admins posting things and getting back in the swing. Sorry again you guys had to wait so long for the 100th chapter. It was all my fault. I just hadn't been motivated. Half of the reason being I was so caught up with things that were happening in my life I couldn't focus on anything else.

Let me explain. You guys remember very cute prom date, yes? Well I don't think I ever told you guys but he's in listed in the National Guard.

He left today.
For four months.

So from the time we started dating to now all of my time and energy has gone into being with him and spending as much time as humanly possible with this boy. He's the only guy to ever make me feel so happy. He can smile at me and I swear I would be happy for the rest of the week. Simple gestures like that are what I lived for. The cute kisses, the way he used to rub my back when he cuddled, even down to the way he was very blunt about his issues. Like when he needed to poop. He would always tell me. And if I was showering he would just come in and start peeing. He's the only guy I've ever been 100% comfortable with.

And I think I love him.

But now that's gone for four whole months.

I'm not coping well and I've been a mess for the past three days straight. I can't even look at pictures of him without getting myself all worked up. Its hard.

And I know you guys don't probably care but I needed to tell someone. So why not tell all of you. You guys have been vvv supportive of my problems in the past.

And this one is a major one.

Because I've never been in love with a boy.

I've never had someone that I could really call mine.

That I could genuinely say I wanted to be with. Someone that even though I've spent the last week with them I'm not bored. Someone that jokes around with me and makes me smile 24/7. I have never had that and it's weird because I've gotten so used to it I don't know what I'm gonna do without it.

I'm crushed. And there's really nothing I can do.

So if anyone wants to talk and rant with me hmu on kik or snapchat. Because you know I'll be there.

Kik: fmujimin
Snapchat: c.indyx

I love you guys to the moon and back.
Always remember that. ❤
-Cindy.

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