A collection of sickfics, hurtfics and oneshots about BTS.
For requests, look in the first chapter "introduction + requests". Please read the whole chapter for instructions and to see if the requests are open or not
I stand in the back stage, warming up, going over the choreoghraphy. I can hear the screams of the fans while music video's play on the big screen. We're all waiting to go up on stage. I breath in deeply, trying to net get nervous because I know that the adrenaline will just take over as soon as I get on stage and I'll only feel excitement.
Suddenly I hear the ringtone of my phone and I turn around. A staff member grabs my phone and brings it to me. "Make it quick, you have a bit of time left." I nod and accept the call, bringing my phone to my ear. "Hello, this is Kim Namjoon." "Good evening mister Kim. I am calling from the hospital in Ilsan." "Um, what's wrong, I have to go on stage in a minute." "Well then I will just tell you now. I'm very sorry to inform you that your parents have gotten into a car crash. They both sadly died on the scene, there was nothing we could do. I am very sorry." My mouth falls open in shock and my heart starts to beat faster. The hand holding the phone falls to my side as I lose all strenght and fall to my knees. "Sir, are you alright?" I barely hear from the phone. I can not bring myself to respond. They should have been here tonight. We're finally having a concert near my home, my parents could finally come and now they're gone for good. I should have had someone pick them up and then this wouldn't have happened. Tears fill my eyes and I feel a hand firmly grab my shoulder. Someone takes the phone from my hand and I hear some muffled speaking behind me before I hear the beep of the call being cut off. Two arms pull me into a tight embrace. "It's going to be okay Joon. It's all going to be just fine. We all get it if you don't want to go up on that stage tonight." I hear someone say beside my ear and now I finally recognise the voice as Yoongi-hyung. "No I want to, I just-" "Alright, take a minute to breath. We're gonna get you through this concert together with ARMY. You decide if you want to tell the fans what's going on. Now how about you go sit on the couch for a minute. I'll get you a bottle of water and tell the members what's going on." I only humm in response and then he heaves me up and helps me walk to the black couch just two meters away. I see him stop one of the staff members that we are very close to and say something from the corner of my eyes, but I can't hear what he's saying.
The staff member walks to me and replaces Yoongi's hug with hers. She doesn't say much, only whispering some sweet nothings while stroking comforting patterns on my back. Soon I feel the patterns be replaced by wide shoulders. "Are you sure you wanne go on stage, Joon?" I immediatly nod. "No ones mad at you if you don't, but if you really want do then we're gonna help you get through tonight. Do you feel okay?" "Yeah, I don't think it's fully gotten through to me yet." "Alright, if you want to get off stage at any point, just go. We'll explain, okay?" I nod in response. "You ready to go?" Another nod. "Then we'll have them start the VCR. Let's get to the lift, alright?" A humm and then he pulls me up from the couch and towards the lift under the stage.
The energy on stage is amazing. The adrenaline, the members, the fans and the excitment make me forget all about the call. It feels wrong to say, but while on stage I'm actually having fun. Though it might me my brain playing tricks on me, I wouldn't know.
The instant I get off stage after the encore and the adrenaline dissapears, it all dawns on me. I might still be breathless, but my breathing still picks up more and the puffs of air become short and panicked. My chest tightens and it hurts like hell. My vision starts to blur a little and the world turns around me. I feel hand leading me and then I feel them push me down by the shoulders. Soon I feel a soft material under me. Someone pulls me forward by my upper arms and then I feel my face against something hard. I snuggle into it, but I feel detached from my own body. I don't know what's happening, but I hear someone saying things to me. I don't know what, it sounds distant and quiet. A chill runs down my back and I start to shiver a little. I feel a pounding headache coming on and a nauseous feeling creeps up my throat. I feel hot, but kind of cold at the same time. My heart pounds in my chest, it feels like it's going to jump out any minute. I feel further and further away from my body each second, it's like it's not my body or like I'm an onlooker.
"Joonie, can you hear me?" I hear someone say softly in a sing song voice. There voice is gentle and I can bearly hear it, but I can. I give a soft humm. It's only now that I feel the tears streaming down my face and sobs wracking my body. "Sweetheart, can you tell me 5 things you can see?" "I don't know, I can't re-" "Yes, you can. Your so strong. For me, five things you can hear." I recognise the first voice as Yoongi, but the last one was someone else, I don't really know. "Mic, our album, flowers..." I trail of, my breathing still ragged. "You're doing so well, two more." It's Jin, I can hear it now. "Jimin, a hairbrush." "That's right, very good. Now 4 things you can feel." I hear Hobi say. "Yoongi's chest, your breath..." He hums in encouragment. "T-the couch, Taehyung's hand in my hair." "Very well, 3 things you can hear." "ARMY's screams, the staff, Young Forever" "Good, 2 things you can smell." "Hairspray, Jungkook's perfume." "1 thing you can taste." "The burgers from dinner."
I now feel more attached to my own body, but my breathing is still heavy, short and panicky. "Alright, breath in for four seconds." Jimin says gently, I comply and he counts. "Now hold for seven. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7. Very good, now out for eight. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8. Again." We repeat the excercise a few times before I finally calm down completely. Hobi wiped away the tears that are still on my cheeks and then gives me a tissue. I now feel Taehyungs long fingers carding through my hair. Jungkook's hard chest is against my upper back and shoulders. Jimin and Jin are both crouched in front of me, each a hand on my thigh. Yoongi is sitting next to me holding my hand tightly in one of his and squeezing my shoulder with the other. "Better?" The latter whispers into my ear. I humm slowly, letting myself fall back into Jungkook.
It took a while, but slowly I learned to move on. There were some more panick attacks, none as bad as the first. It was hard to lose my parents, but eventually I learned that moving on is not forgetting but accepting.
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Don't forget to leave behind you're requests! This was the last one! Any member is fine, preferably no ships.
