Toman's Black Cat

Jealousy + Courage

Chifuyu's POV

When he had heard what happened, he felt a shift in the way things were going but felt a mix of surprise as well as jealousy upon hearing Y/n was at the hospital with Mikey. He wanted to walk up to the nearest delinquents to get a beatdown for his thoughts never being able to line up when it came to her.

I walked away because I know she gets killed in the future at least two times because of me...so why do I keep letting my feelings overshadow reasoning?? Everyone thinks I'm an idiot but I'm starting to believe them!

Regardless of such feelings, he still decided to go and pick up Takemitchy, knowing that if he saw her, it was very likely that she hated him now after all this time.

I didn't even have the confidence to tell her I wasn't going to see her again or why. Even I would hate me.

He walked with his head down as he made his way towards his bike when he suddenly received a message from Hakkai saying he would meet him at the hospital.

He quickly messaged back to tell him he was only going to pick up Takemitchy, so he would be alright to go alone. He was more than surprised that Hakkai said he wanted to be there to bring Y/n with them too, stating she would need a ride as well because she would want to come as well.

Chifuyu sent a short okay in response as he mounted his bike in deep thought. He had been told by Hakkai what he had said to Y/n. To a point, he knew Hakkai was angry and hurting over his closest friend being hurt bad enough to end up in the hospital.

It still pisses me off though...

Hakkai's POV

I have to stop being afraid. Even if she says she hates me now, it's no less than I deserve for all the pain my words alone put her through.

That day at the hospital, he was so angry, he wasn't even willing to listen to her side at all, snatching himself away from her as if she had burned him while all he could see was red. He wanted to feel justified as he yelled right in her face, accusing her of horrible things until he ran out of breath.

He was shocked when she wouldn't scream back or even hurl a single insult his way, but instead said she understood and sat away from him without saying another word.

Every time he remembered the look of hurt on her face, he wanted to punch anything and everything until he felt better or at least until he could stop thinking about it.

When it was finally allowed for hospital visits, Mitsuya immediately picked up on his struggle and asked him if something else happened while he was out. Hakkai didn't even bother looking up at his friend as he explained what happened between him and Y/n.

Mitsuya remained quiet for a few minutes afterward which made Hakkai feel so much worse.

"Even though you know you were wrong, don't you think she deserves the right to tell you what she thinks of you now? Even if she didn't then, but you know you hurt her, don't you owe her that much?"

Hakkai was determined to be better, to face his problems head on, no matter what it took. It just took a lot of practice. He would accept whatever she said or did. He would be brave.

I can't help wondering....if she does hate me...